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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1229
Unusual Rabbit Joke
Joke:
How do you catch an unusual rabbit?
Punch Line
VOTE
Girl With Frog On Her Head Joke
Joke:
What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
Punch Line
VOTE
Don't Sit On The Toilet Too Long
Joke:
A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while… Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet." Mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" Billy says: "works for ketchup."
VOTE
Amish Elevator
Joke:
A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son… "Junior, go get your Mother."
VOTE
Doing The Impossible
Joke:
Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.
VOTE
Mal Practice
Joke:
A woman sued a Hospital stating that after a recent treatment her husband had lost all interest in sex. The Hospital in their defense stated... "All we did was correct his eyesight!"
VOTE
Mom's Lunch Joke
Joke:
What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?
Punch Line
VOTE
George Washington's Hatchet
Joke:
Where did George Washington get his hatchet?
Punch Line
VOTE
What Do You Call A Cat Caught By The Police Joke
Joke:
What do you call a cat caught by the police?
Punch Line
VOTE
Red, White, Blue And Green Joke
Joke:
What's red, white and blue, and green?
Punch Line
VOTE
A Flock Of Terns Flew Into My Marijuana Plants
Joke:
A flock of Terns flew into my marijuana plants and ate most of them. There was no Tern unstoned.
VOTE
The Devil Called Down To Georgia
Joke:
The Devil called down to Georgia, he was looking for some votes to steal. He was in a bind because he was behind and he was willing to make a deal.
VOTE
Egg And Easter Bunny Joke
Joke:
What did the egg say when the Easter Bunny told a joke?
Punch Line
VOTE
Date Night Joke
Joke:
I had a date last night and I really enjoyed it. So tonight I'm going to try a fig.
VOTE
She Missed Me Joke
Joke:
She said she missed me. Normally, that would be good... But she's reloading.
VOTE
What Does A Robot Do After Sex Joke
Joke:
What does a robot do after sex?
Punch Line
VOTE
Easter Bunny Tail Joke
Joke:
Where does the Easter Bunny go for new tails?
Punch Line
VOTE
What Is A Police Officer's Favorite Sweater Joke
Joke:
What is a police officer's favorite sweater?
Punch Line
VOTE
New World Joke
Joke:
Imagine a world where Youtube, Twitter and Facebook merge to become as YouTwitFace.
VOTE
Piano Locked Out Of The House Joke
Joke:
Why was the piano locked out of the house?
Punch Line
VOTE
Coolest Doctor Joke
Joke:
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
Punch Line
VOTE
Good In Bed Joke
Joke:
I'm actually pretty good in bed. I hardly ever fall out anymore.
VOTE
Post Office Worker Joke
Joke:
Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office. He was thrilled because he had been looking for employment for a while, without any luck. It wasn't long before his first day arrived, and he headed to the Post Office brimming with confidence. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. His supervisor didn't understand how he was capable of working so fast but didn't question it. The supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." "Thank you, Sir," said Paul, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" Paul replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."
VOTE
Safe Sex Joke
Joke:
Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot and killed by the woman’s husband.
VOTE
Kid At A Funeral Joke
Joke:
When I was about 7 years old, my mom forced me to go with her to the funeral of a friend of hers that I didn't know. When we got there, I stayed in a corner waiting for the funeral to end. Then a man approached me and said: "Enjoy life, boy. Be happy because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy mine." He patted my head and left. Before leaving, my mom forced me to say goodbye to the dead person. When I looked in the coffin, I was startled to see the man who was talking to me in the corner was the same one in the coffin. For several years, I was not able to sleep properly because of nightmares. Years later, I discovered that the dead man had a twin brother.
VOTE
Anti-clockwise Watch
Joke:
The wicked witch from the south watches the watch that’s turning anti-clockwise, so now everyone knows now which witch watches what watch.
VOTE
Why Are There Pop-tarts But No Mom-tarts?
Joke:
Why are there Pop-tarts but no Mom-tarts?
Punch Line
VOTE
Why Does A Lion Kneel Before It Springs?
Joke:
Why does a lion kneel before it springs?
Punch Line
VOTE
Kids Cowboy Boots
Joke:
The teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
VOTE
Wife Owners Manual Joke
Joke:
Anyone have an owners manual for a wife? Mine's making a whining noise.
VOTE
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Joke Categories
114
Adult Jokes
🔞
8
Airline Jokes
282
Animal Jokes
15
Baby Jokes
81
Bar & Drinking Jokes
100
Best Jokes
66
Blonde Jokes
9
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7
College Jokes
13
Computer Jokes
5
Cross the Road Jokes
395
Dad Jokes
6
Dentist Jokes
56
Doctor Jokes
8
Dumb Criminals
52
Elderly Jokes
15
Entertainment Jokes
21
Family Jokes
11
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121
Fart Jokes
133
Food Jokes
6
Golf Jokes
118
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24
Insult Jokes
4
Judge Jokes
171
Kid Jokes
10
Knock Knock Jokes
18
Lawyer Jokes
7
Lightbulb Jokes
4
Little Johnny Jokes
10
Love Jokes
80
Marriage Jokes
6
Military Jokes
117
Misc Jokes
13
Money Jokes
23
Musician Jokes
42
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
Office Jokes
78
One Liner Jokes
2
Pickup Jokes
4
Pilot Jokes
18
Pirate Jokes
22
Police Jokes
46
Political Jokes
76
Pop Culture Jokes
5
Programmer Jokes
233
Puns
11
Redneck Jokes
79
Relationship Jokes
57
Religious Jokes
5
Salespeople Jokes
31
School Jokes
29
Science Jokes
4
SciFI Jokes
31
Sport Jokes
17
Star Wars Jokes
26
Teacher Jokes
23
Technology Jokes
441
Word Play Jokes
63
Work Jokes
51
Yo Momma Jokes
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