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What do you call pigs that write each other?
What do you get when you cross a pig and a canary?
I don't know but, when it sits on the electric wires and sings, all your lights go out!
What do you call a pig with three eyes?
Why did the girl pig break up with her boyfriend?
Because he was a real boar!
What do you call a pig that plays basketball?
A ball hog.
Why did the pig stand in the middle of the road?
Because he was sooeecidal.
If a pig loses his voice, does that mean he's disgruntled?
What do you call a train with bubble-gum?
A chew-chew train!
A farmer drove to his neighbor's house and knocked on the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad home?", asked the farmer. "No, they went to town.", the boy answered. How about your brother, Howard? asked the farmer. "No, he went to town with mom and dad.", answered the boy. The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy said, "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message." "Well", said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant." The boy thought for a moment, then said, "You'll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charged $500 for bulls and $150 for pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."
I'm going to start collecting highlighters... mark my words!