The Joker

Joke Count: 1234
Joke: Bubba and Johnny Ray were sitting on the from porch when a large truck hauling rolls and rolls of sod went by. "I'm gonna to that when I win the lottery," said Bubba. "Do What?" asked Johnny Ray. "Send my grass out to be mowed!"
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Joke: What is the funniest landscape?
Punch Line
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Joke: The Philosopher Plato once said... "I am the wisest man alive for I know one thing... and that one thing is that I know nothing." How did he know that? His wife told him.
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Joke: Wife: Did I get fat during the quarantine? Husband: You've never been really skinny.
Punch Line
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Joke: Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?
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Joke: President Camacho: Shit. I know shit's bad right now, with all that starving bullshit, and the dust storms, and we are running out of french fries and burrito coverings. But I got a solution. South Carolina Representative # 1: That's what you said last time, dipshit! South Carolina Representative # 2: Yeah, I got a solution, you're a dick! South Carolina, what's up!
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Joke: I found out that my grandpa is addicted to Viagra... no one is taking it harder than grandma!
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Joke: How do you make pickle bread?
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Joke: Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.
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Joke: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
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Joke: Did you know that people who have to wear glasses with their mask... may be entitled to condensation.
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Joke: Confucius say man who walks around with hands in pocket all day long feels cocky.
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Joke: Why are sandals so indecisive?
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Joke: I don't mind getting older... But my body is taking it badly!
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Joke: What did the dog say to the tree?
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Joke: What do you call a mama cow after it had its baby?
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Joke: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
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Joke: A Native American goes to see a psychiatrist about some bad dreams he is having. The psychiatrist asks him to describe his nightmares and he said they are always about either wigwams or teepees. The doctor tells him he is obviously two tense.
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Joke: What kind of Doctor is Dr. Pepper?
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Joke: Why aren't dogs good dancers?
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Joke: Hey, did you hear about the actress Reese... something, who commited suicide?
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Joke: Why do melons have weddings?
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Joke: I used to have a girlfriend who made her own booze. I knew the relationship wouldn’t last but I really miss her still.
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Joke: Bono and Edge walk into a bar. The bartender says,"Not U2 again."
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Joke: My computer doesn't understand me!
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Joke: I don't know how to use TikTok, but I can write in cursive, do long division, and tell time on clocks with hands... so there's that.
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Joke: I think I need professional help...
Punch Line
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Joke: Me: Please bring me a screwdriver. Wife: Flat head, Phillips or Vodka? And that is when I knew she was the one!
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Joke: Two antennas got married yesterday. The wedding was just ok but the reception was really good.
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Joke:

I think I lost an electron... In fact, I'm positive.

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