I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.
A woman walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one.
Ever wonder why bottled water costs so much when there is so much of it?
Spell "evian" backwards.
Why do psychics ask so many questions when they supposedly already know the answers?
Not only am I redundant and superfluous, but I also tend to use more words than necessary.
I like to tell chemistry jokes, but I never get a good reaction.
Any movie shown in a Texas theater that isn't a western.
Astronomy is looking up.
Corduroy pillows, they're making headlines.
Cornona Virus, it's an inside joke.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I went into a restaurant that served 'breakfast at any time'. So, I asked for French Toast in the time of the Renaissance.
In-dis-tinct: Where one places dirty dishes (in the sink).
You've all heard of TGIF - Thank God It's Friday, right? Well my Assistant refers to Friday as POETS day... Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday!
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
What do you say to a person who says that they are going to tell on you?
Too late, I already told.