46 POLITICAL JOKES

Question 1

Chicago`s Cemetery Voter..

My father was GOP voter all his life, till he died. Then he started voting Democratic.

Question 2

Conservative Economists

How many Conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?

Question 3

Politics At Thanksgiving

Be sure to bring up politics during family Thanksgiving to save on Christmas gifts.

Question 4

First Blonde President

Why did the first blonde president move out of the oval office?

Question 5

Viagra

What happens when you give a politician viagra?

Question 6

Election Joke

I'm really afraid someone is going to win this election!

Question 7

Organized Crime Joke

Son, "Dad, I'm considering a career in organized crime." Dad, "Government or private sector?"

Question 8

Cheating On Your Husband

A husband & wife are talking. Husband: "How many times have you cheated on me?" Wife: "Only twice." Husband: "Tell me about them." Wife: "Remember when you were very sick, and we didn't have money to pay for the doctor? Well, I slept with him." Husband: "That's not so bad; and the other?" Wife: "Remember when you were running in the elections, and you needed 450 votes?"

Question 9

I Won!

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He answered it and listened intently. After a brief moment, his face lit up with a smile. He hung up the phone and immediately called his mother to pass along the good news. "Ma, the results are in," he shouted joyously. "I won the election!" "Honestly?" his mother replied. "Aw, gee, Ma, what a time to bring that up!" he said.

VOTE

Question 10

Declaration Of Independence Joke

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

Question 11

Pro's And Con's

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Question 12

Politics Defined

A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage

Question 13

Political Term Limits

A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail.

Question 14

Perfect Climate

If a man becomes president, his wife is the first lady. If a woman became president, what would you call her husband?

Question 15

A Republican Joke

A brother and sister are in a terrible car accident and the brother is badly injured. At the hospital the doctor tells the sister, "His brain is dead, but his pulse is still beating." The sister replies, "Oh no! We've never had a Republican in the family before!"

Question 16

A King In A Big Glass Castle

A king lived in a big beautiful glass castle in a most beautiful kingdom yet he spent his days collecting expensive thrones and saying bad things about everyone in his kingdom. So one day it all came crashing down and killed him all because he had stored all those thrones in the attic of his big glass castle. The moral of this story is people who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

Question 17

30 Seconds

It is amazing how politicians can fit all their good points in a 30 second TV commercial.

Question 18

The Devil Called Down To Georgia

The Devil called down to Georgia, he was looking for some votes to steal. He was in a bind because he was behind and he was willing to make a deal.

Question 19

Comparing The Presidents

Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth. And Donald Trump can't tell the difference."

Question 20

Republican Class

A teacher in California asked her class, "How many of you are Republicans?" Everyone in the class raised their hands except for one girl. "Brian," the teacher inquired, "Why didn't you raise your hand?" "Because I'm not a Republican," she replied. "I'm a Democrat." The teacher asked her, "Why are you a Democrat?" And Brian said, "Well, my mother and my father are both Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too." "Well," said the teacher in an annoyed tone, "That's no reason why you have to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your parents were both criminals?" "Then," Brian said, "We'd be Republicans."

Question 21

Boat Captain IRS Audit

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his deckhands and sent an agent to investigate him. IRS Auditor asks "I need to talk with you about your employees and how much you pay them". Boat Capitan responds "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for about 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board". IRS auditor "That's fair, so who is the other guy on the boat that I see in your records. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the workaround here and only makes about $10 per week and it says you buy him a bottle of Bacardi and a twelve-pack once a week too. Also says he gets to sleep with your wife occasionally?" the IRS Auditor says "That's the guy we want to talk to". The Boat Capitan replies "That would be me, what do you to know?"

Question 22

Donald Trump And Barack Obama On A Train Joke

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, a spectacular looking blonde, and a frightfully awful looking fat lady were in a train carriage. After several minutes of the trip, the train passes through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. When they leave the tunnel, Trump has a big red slap mark on his cheek. The blonde thought, 'that rascal Trump wanted to touch me and by mistake he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face.' The fat lady thought, 'that dirty old Donal Trump laid his hands on the blonde and she smacked him.' Donald Trump thought, 'Barack put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me.' Barack Obama thought, 'I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Trump again.'

Question 23

Unbelievable

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Question 24

Environmentalists

A rich lady from California, who was a tree hugger and a vociferous anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland in Oregon. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted to get a good view of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the lady slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her private parts. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest country doctor. Being a hunter himself, the doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited for three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry lady demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area... and I'm sorry, they all turned me down."

Question 25

Voting Elves Joke

Where do Elves go to vote?

Question 26

Country Politics

A busload of politicians were driving down a country road when suddenly the bus ran off the road and crashed into an old farmer's barn. The old farmer got off his tractor and went to investigate. Soon he dug a hole and buried the politicians. A few days later, the local sheriff came out, saw the crashed bus, and asked the old farmer where all the politicians had gone. The old farmer told him he had buried them. The sheriff asked the old farmer, "Lordy, were they ALL dead?" The old farmer said, "Well, some of them said they weren't, but you know how them crooked politicians lie."

Question 27

How Govenrment Works, An Example With Cows

Question 28

Congress Or Baboon's Joke

A group of baboons is called a congress. (that is the joke)

Question 29

When White Man...

When White man found this land, Indians were running it. No Taxes... No Debt... Plenty of Buffalo... Plenty of beaver! Women did most (all) of the work. Medicine Man was free! Indian men hunted and fished all the time! Only White man is dumb enough to think he could improve a system like that.

Question 30

Politicians And Diapers

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Question 31

Recount Or Else!

I just called my bank and told them that they counted wrong so I want to find $11,780 in my account by tomorrow!

Question 32

Communism Pun

I never really thought communism would work. Way to many red flags.

Question 33

Coin Shortage Joke

There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common cents.

Question 34

Stop Shredded Cheese, Make America Grate Again!

Stop shredded cheese, make America grate again!

Question 35

Taking A Pole Joke

I recently took a pole and found out that 100% of the people in the tent were angry when it collapsed.

Question 36

Trumpkin

Orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should be thrown out in November.

Question 37

Polls Vs Poles

An American and North Korean are bragging about their countries. The American says "In my country, our technology is so good that we know who will win an election two hours before the polls close!" The North Korean doesn't blink and says "Well in my country we know who will win two years before the polls close."

Question 38

What Is Politics?

A little boy goes to his father one day and says, "Daddy, what is politics?" "Well," his father replied, "let me try to explain it to you this way. Let's say that you're the people. I'm the breadwinner of the family so we'll call me the economy. Your mother is in charge so we'll call her government. Your nanny will be the working class, and your baby brother is the future. Now go think about that and see if you can understand." The boy thinks about it but doesn't really get it so he goes to bed. He wakes up in the middle of the night and hears his baby brother crying. He goes to check on his brother and sees that he has soiled himself but doesn't know how to change a diaper. He goes to his parents' room to wake them up, but only his mother is there, snoring loudly. He goes to the nanny's room instead and finds the door locked. When he looks through the keyhole, he sees his father in bed with the nanny. Frustrated, he just goes back to bed. In the morning, the boy goes to his father and says, "I think I understand politics now." "Good," says the father. "Let's see what you've come up with." "Well," says the boy, "While the economy is screwing the working class, the government is fast asleep, the people are being ignored, and the future is in deep shit."

Question 39

U.S. Coin Shortage

Did you hear that there is a coin shortage?

Question 40

Political Lawn Signs

It's important to look carefully at lawn signs during an election. Last time I voted for a real estate agent.

Question 41

Trump Locked Out Of White House Joke.

Why can't Donald Trump go to the White House anymore?

46 POLITICAL JOKES

Political Jokes

Chicago`s Cemetery Voter..

Conservative Economists

Politics At Thanksgiving

First Blonde President

Viagra

Election Joke

Organized Crime Joke

Cheating On Your Husband

I Won!

Declaration Of Independence Joke

Pro's And Con's

Politics Defined

Political Term Limits

Perfect Climate

A Republican Joke

A King In A Big Glass Castle

30 Seconds

The Devil Called Down To Georgia

Comparing The Presidents

Republican Class

Boat Captain IRS Audit

Donald Trump And Barack Obama On A Train Joke

Unbelievable

Environmentalists

Voting Elves Joke

Country Politics

How Govenrment Works, An Example With Cows

Congress Or Baboon's Joke

When White Man...

Politicians And Diapers

Recount Or Else!

Communism Pun

Coin Shortage Joke

Stop Shredded Cheese, Make America Grate Again!

Taking A Pole Joke

Trumpkin

Polls Vs Poles

What Is Politics?

U.S. Coin Shortage

Political Lawn Signs

Trump Locked Out Of White House Joke.

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