119 Misc Jokes - Fart.com

Jan 21, 2020 Last updated: May 28, 2020

Misc Jokes

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Everything But . . . .

I read all the way through a medical dictionary, and found that the only thing in it I DON'T have is hypochondria!

Toilet Paper Crisis

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

Misc Jokes — Toilet Paper Crisis Joke Meme.

The Brains

A man has just been in a car accident and has severe brain damage. So his sister is called in to take care of his medical decisions. First off, the doctor decides the man needs a new brain since his is so badly damaged. So they need to go find a brain for the transplant. They go down to the basement where all the brains are and there are 3 jars. The doctor points to the first jar and says, "That brain belonged to a woman. It will cost your brother $20 a gram." The doctor then points to the second jar, "That will cost you $40 a gram. It once belonged to one of our female doctors and she was quite a brilliant person." The doctor then points to the third jar and says, "That is a brain that once belonged to a man. It costs $200 a gram." The sister replies, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?" The doctor replies, "Are you joking!? Do you know how hard it is to find a gram of a male's brain?"

Eye Spy

A beautiful, sexy, good looking lady was sitting next to a guy in a plane... The lady said to him, "Can you help me remove something from my breast please?" The excited young man replied, "Wow! It will be my pleasure... So what is it?" "Your eyes!"

Fooled You

What's another name for a push-up bra?

Misc Jokes — Fooled you Joke Meme

How To Spot A Happy Motorcyclist

How can you spot a happy motorcyclist?

The Leg

What's the difference between a leg and an egg?

And Lots Of Them!

What's bigotry?

Misc Jokes — And Lots of Them! Joke Meme

Grocery List

Grocery List; (noun) A piece of paper you spend half an hour writing, and then forget to take with you to the store.

Mental Health Hotline

Hello, and welcome to the Mental Health Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call. If you are delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the mother ship. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press-no-one will answer. If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969. If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line. If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name. If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000. If you have bipolar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.

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