John got home from his Sunday round of golf later than normal and very tired. "Bad day at the course?" his wife asked. "Everything was going fine," he said. "Then Jay had a heart attack and died on the 10th tee." "Oh, that's awful!" "You're not kidding. For the whole back nine it was hit the ball, drag Jay, hit the ball, drag Jay..."
Two women were paired together as partners in a club tournament and met on the putting green for the first time. After introductions, the first golfer asked the second, "What's your handicap?" "Oh, I'm a scratch golfer," the other replied. "Really!" exclaimed the first woman, suitably impressed that she was paired up with such a strong player. "Yes, I write down all my good scores and scratch out the bad ones!