Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!
If you get farted on during a fight... Guess what?
You loose that fight!
Why is it so hard to replace Vanna White?
They can't find another blonde who knows the whole alphabet.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband, who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. She got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout. Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie's schedule and Sally would test all their equipment before setting out. They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event - hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would. About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, "I can't make the supper. I can't light a fire with the matches you brought." Sally replied, "I don't understand! Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left."
Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
Little Johnny was sitting outside a church playing with sulphuric acid. The priest came up to him and said "Child why are you playing with sulphuric acid? Thats dangerous! I've got some holy water inside that is much more powerful." Little Johnny relied "How come?" "Well last week I splashed some holy water on Mrs.Wilson's tummy and she passed a baby!" said the priest proudly. "Thats nothing," retorted Little Johnny "I spashed some sulphuric acid on my dog's balls and he passed a Ferrari!"
Why do snakes always lose in court?
They don't have a leg to stand on!
Sometimes, When you are happy... no one sees your smile... When you cry ... no one sees your tears... But fart just one time!
Why should you never trust a fart?
You never know what kind of shit your asshole is up to.