National Jokes

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Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!

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An Irishman walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olive and placing it in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what the Irishman had done, "what was that all about?" "Nothin'," said the Irishman. "My wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

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What do you call a gassy greek?

A Fartin' Spartan.

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The EU is much like a bad fart. Better out than in.

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An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place around where he can get American food. The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver. The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, he goes back to his room and orders a pizza. Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up at the door with the pizza. The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably. He asks the delivery man, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?" The delivery man bows deeply and says, "We put on pizza what you order: pepper only."

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What's Irish and stays outside all year?

Paddy O'Furniture

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What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

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what do you call a gassy Scotsman?

Bravefart.

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What do you call a farting Russian?

Vladimir Putin.

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A Kerryman emigrated from Ireland to England, thereby increasing the average IQ of both countries.

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