The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment.  We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.

I was startled by a loud fart. I was fartled.

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A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.

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Yo mamma so dumb... She tripped over a cordless phone.

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Why did the pencil cross the road?

It was lead!

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You are not as stupid as you look. That would be impossible.

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A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he wants to let them know he means business! The CEO walks up to the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week." The CEO hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks " Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-off did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He just delivered the pizzas"

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A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?

None of them, because you can't get a banana from a coconut tree.

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What is the difference between a drinking establishment and an elephant's fart?

One is a bar-room and the other is a BAROOOM!

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A man's wife was in labor with their first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly the man's wife began to shout, "Shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, didn't, can't!!" The man said, "Doctor, what's wrong with my wife?" The doctor replied, "Nothing. She's just having contractions."

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What degree did the butt get?

A Master of Fine Farts.

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