JOKE OF THE DAY INDEX

Joke: Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

Joke: You hear what the elephant said to the naked man?

Joke: I just removed all the German contacts from my cell phone. It's now Hans free!

Joke: Why couldn't the flower ride its bike?

Joke: Most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the "Titanic" was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. Mexicans were crazy about the stuff. The Mexican people were eagerly awaiting delivery and were disconsolate ("desperados") at the loss. So much so that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as ...Sinko de Mayo.

Joke: I'm giving up drinking until this is over...

Joke: Are you a banana?

Joke: Why should you never break up with a goalie?

Joke: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pot of boiling water?

Joke: Some race horses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well, in the last 27 races, I've won 19!" "Oh, that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!" says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound has been sitting there, listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."