Joke of The Day Index - Farts.com

The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment. We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.

Rude Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Problem was, the parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious, and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music, and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary, but to no avail. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude In desperation, John threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes, the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly, there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he'd killed the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arm and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I am sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior." John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued. "May I ask what the turkey did?"

Yo Mama So Fat Suez Canal Joke

Yo mama so fat, she blocked the Suez Canal!

Yo Mama So Fat Movie Joke

Yo Momma's so fat they show IMAX movies on her butt!

As Stupid As You Look Joke

You are not as stupid as you look. That would be impossible.

Criminal Steals A Dress For His Wife Joke

A judge frowns at the criminal report of the man he is judging. He asks, "So you robbed the same store on three successive nights?" The robber replies, "Yes your honor." The judge, even more perplexed asks, "And why was that?" "Because my wife wanted a dress," says the robber. The judge checks his records, "But it says here you broke in three nights in a row!" "Yes sir. She made me exchange it twice."

Addicted To Seaweed Joke

What do you do if you're addicted to seaweed?

A Monkey A Squirrel And A Bird Joke

A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?

Fart Louder Than A Trombone Joke

A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.

Cow With No Legs Joke

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Degree In Flatulence

What degree did the butt get?

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