Little Johnny Jokes
Little Johnny was told by a friend that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, Little Johnny is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. Little Johnny greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Well then Johnny, come give daddy a hug."
Little Johnny was sitting outside a church playing with sulphuric acid. The priest came up to him and said "Child why are you playing with sulphuric acid? Thats dangerous! I've got some holy water inside that is much more powerful." Little Johnny relied "How come?" "Well last week I splashed some holy water on Mrs.Wilson's tummy and she passed a baby!" said the priest proudly. "Thats nothing," retorted Little Johnny "I spashed some sulphuric acid on my dog's balls and he passed a Ferrari!"
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. The favorite joke is to offer Johnny the choice between a nickel and a dime, Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psycology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid stand up!" After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"