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Science Jokes

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I think I lost an electron... In fact, I'm positive.

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Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because 31/8(oct) and 25/10 (dec):

31 in base 8 = 25 in base 10,

25=8*3 + 1,

25= 10*2 + 5.

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What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin π.

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What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

Crude Oil.

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How many Existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?

What light bulb?

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Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

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I don't want to get to technical but... Chemists think alcohol is a solution!

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Why were the two science books holding hands?

They had chemistry.

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Who is the smartest pig in the world?

Ein-swine!

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I was going to tell a time-traveling joke ...but you guys didn't like it.

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Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

It's always 90 degrees.

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How do you cut lightning?

With bolt cutters!

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Why is water heavier than butane?

Because butane is a lighter fluid.

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Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

For being "out standing" in his field!

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What was the goal of the detective duck?

To quack the case.

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The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.

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Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

Because noble gases are nonreactive.

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To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

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Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?

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How did the caveman survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs?

Social Distancing. They kept 56 million years apart.

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When chemists die, they barium.

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A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

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I bought a book on anti-gravity and just can't seem to put it down.

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A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Mikey to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked... "Mikey did you see the sky?" "Yes", said Mikey. "Did you see the sun?" "Yes", said the boy. "Did you see God?" "No", said the boy. The Teacher said, "So God really isn't there." A little girl started to ask Mikey some questions. "Did you see the sky?" "Yes" was the reply "Did you see the sun?" Again, "yes" was the answer. "Do you see the teacher's brain? Because according to her, she doesn't have one!"

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Why should you never trust Atoms?

Because they make up everything!

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