SCIENCE JOKES

I think I lost an electron... In fact, I'm positive.

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas?

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes?

How many Existentialists does it take to change a light bulb?

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Why were the two science books holding hands?

Does anyone know how to stop condensation in my home? Please call, the kettle is always on.

I don't want to get to technical but... Chemists think alcohol is a solution!

Who is the smartest pig in the world?

We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!

Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?

I was going to tell a time-traveling joke ...but you guys didn't like it.

How do you cut lightning?

Why is water heavier than butane?

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

What was the goal of the detective duck?

To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?

How did the caveman survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs?

The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart?

When chemists die, they barium.

A new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.

I bought a book on anti-gravity and just can't seem to put it down.

A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Mikey to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked... "Mikey did you see the sky?" "Yes", said Mikey. "Did you see the sun?" "Yes", said the boy. "Did you see God?" "No", said the boy. The Teacher said, "So God really isn't there." A little girl started to ask Mikey some questions. "Did you see the sky?" "Yes" was the reply "Did you see the sun?" Again, "yes" was the answer. "Do you see the teacher's brain? Because according to her, she doesn't have one!"

Why should you never trust Atoms?