438 WORD PLAY JOKES

Question 1

Breakfast Bar

Whenever I try and eat healthy a chocolate bar looks at me and snickers!

Question 2

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Question 3

You Know It Right?

It's CORN! + Who let the DOGS OUT? What is it?

Question 4

Actress Suicide

Hey, did you hear about the actress Reese... something, who commited suicide?

Question 5

Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke

Bono and Edge walk into a bar. The bartender says,"Not U2 again."

Question 6

Melon Joke

Why do melons have weddings?

Question 7

Bully Got Toasted

Bully got toasted because...

Question 8

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

What did the dog say to the tree?

Question 9

Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke

Why are sandals so indecisive?

Question 10

Forbidden Fruit Joke

How many bites of the forbidden fruit did Adam and Eve take?

Question 11

What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?

Question 12

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?

Question 13

Wearing Glasses With A Mask

Did you know that people who have to wear glasses with their mask... may be entitled to condensation.

Question 14

Landscape Joke

What is the funniest landscape?

Question 15

Tick Joke

Why can't ticks keep a secret?

Question 16

Wise Man Vs A Fool Joke

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.

Question 17

What’s Brown And Sticky

What's brown and sticky?

Question 18

Butterfly Dance Joke

Why wouldn't they let the butterfly in to the dance?

Question 19

Small Lizard Joke

Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?

Question 20

Hispanic Friends

I try to say "mucho" when I'm around my Hispanic friends... It means a lot to them!

Question 21

Tom The Turkey Joke

Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!

Question 22

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."

Question 23

What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?

What part of a museum has the most allergies?

Question 24

Chicken Salad Joke

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Question 25

Two Prostitutes

Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes -- $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!" "Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . . . "Their sign pertains to religion." So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off. The following day found the same police officer in the area when he noticed the two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car again. Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."

Question 26

Two Irishmen Joke

Two Irishmen saw the sign "Tree fellers wanted". The first Irishman said, "If Pat had been with us we'd have got that job."

Question 27

Telling Dad Jokes

I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

Question 28

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

Be careful when you eat at Sam and Ella's diner.

Question 29

Pensive Treat

Which tree is the most pensive?

Question 30

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?

Question 31

Frog Shoes Joke

What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Question 32

Dentists Kids Joke

How do the kids of dentists get around the neighborhood?

Question 33

What's She Selling On The Beach Joke

A couple lived near the ocean and walked the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing, she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them. Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag. The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know for sure they just continued to watch her. After a couple of weeks, the wife asked, "Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?" He hadn't and said so. Then she said, "Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing." Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife on the road. "Well, is she selling drugs?" she asked excitedly. "No, she's not," he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have. "Well, what is it, then?" his wife fairly shrieked. The man grinned and said. "She's selling batteries." "Batteries?" cried the wife. "Yes," he replied. "She sells C cells by the Seashore."

Question 34

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

In which river are you sure to find snakes?

Question 35

Leprechaun's Garden Joke

Why do Leprechauns like to garden?

Question 36

Optometrist Music Joke

What music do optometrists listen to?

Question 37

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

Question 38

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"

Question 39

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

What kind of cars do cats drive?

Question 40

Rabbi Circumcision Joke

Do you hear about the Rabbi who didn't charge for circumcisions?

Question 41

Funny Farm Animals Joke

What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

Question 42

Grease Joke

I told my therapist that I couldn't get the Grease Soundtrack out of my head.

Question 43

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

How does a Japanese dog say hello?

Question 44

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

Question 45

Helping Out A Friend Joke

My friend was down in the dumps the other day so I let her color the tattoo on the top of my arm. She just needed a shoulder to crayon.

Question 46

Popular Dance In 1776 Joke

What was the most popular dance in 1776?

Question 47

Butcher Overtime Joke

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

Question 48

Rich Rabbit Joke

What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?

Question 49

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?

Question 50

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

I was kidnapped by mimes... They did unspeakable things to me.

Question 51

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

What kind of key opens a haunted house?

Question 52

Ipad Thief Joke

The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!

Question 53

Taco Tuesday Joke

Seven days without a taco makes Juan weak!

Question 54

Santa’s Favorite Singer Joke

Who is Santa's favorite singer?

Question 55

Whisper In Clas Joke

Why can't you whisper in class?

Question 56

Joke Lol

Why do we tell actors to "Break a leg"?

Question 57

Laughing Dog Joke

What type a dog laughs at every joke?

Question 58

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Question 59

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Question 60

Happy Dwarf Joke

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Question 61

French Stubbed Toe Joke

When French people stub their toe, do they say "Ow-Oui"?

Question 62

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Why would a pig dressed in all black never get bullied?

Question 63

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."

Question 64

Dracula's Favorite Breed Of Dog Joke

What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?

438 WORD PLAY JOKES

Word Play Jokes

Breakfast Bar

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

You Know It Right?

Actress Suicide

Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke

Melon Joke

Bully Got Toasted

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke

Forbidden Fruit Joke

What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

Wearing Glasses With A Mask

Landscape Joke

Tick Joke

Wise Man Vs A Fool Joke

What’s Brown And Sticky

Butterfly Dance Joke

Small Lizard Joke

Hispanic Friends

Tom The Turkey Joke

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?

Chicken Salad Joke

Two Prostitutes

Two Irishmen Joke

Telling Dad Jokes

Sam And Ellas Diner Joke

Pensive Treat

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

Frog Shoes Joke

Dentists Kids Joke

What's She Selling On The Beach Joke

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

Leprechaun's Garden Joke

Optometrist Music Joke

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

Rabbi Circumcision Joke

Funny Farm Animals Joke

Grease Joke

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Helping Out A Friend Joke

Popular Dance In 1776 Joke

Butcher Overtime Joke

Rich Rabbit Joke

Skeleton Go To School Joke

Kidnapped By Mimes Joke

What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?

Ipad Thief Joke

Taco Tuesday Joke

Santa’s Favorite Singer Joke

Whisper In Clas Joke

Joke Lol

Laughing Dog Joke

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

Art Museum Joke

Happy Dwarf Joke

French Stubbed Toe Joke

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

Dracula's Favorite Breed Of Dog Joke

Trick Or Treating With Twin Witches Joke

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

April Fools Joke

Christmas Flu

Another Personal Trainer Joke

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Dog Zoo Joke

Steal A Coat Joke

Quiet Dog Joke

Paleontologists Joke

Science Book Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Egg On The Barn Joke