Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!
Do you know why single women cant fart?
Because they dont get a$&holes until they are married.
Why should February 10th be National Fart Day?
Because it's 2/10.
What do you call Pegasus farts?
Horse power.
Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass
What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?
Total Eclipse of a fart.
Why are babies are like farts?
We only like our own.
What do you call a gassy greek?
A Fartin' Spartan.
The EU is much like a bad fart. Better out than in.
A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"