The Joker

Question 1

Wine Bottles

They should put more wine in a bottle... so there's enough for two people.

Question 2

Talking Tree Pun

A lumberjack walks into the woods and goes to cut down a tree with his ax. The tree shout out "hey wait I'm a talking tree". The lumberjack responds "you may be a talking tree but you'll dialogue".

Question 3

Must Give Up

An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex if she wanted to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. The Angel visited the woman a month later to see how she was getting on. "Not bad," said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when I bent over to look in the freezer, my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels and he pulled up my skirt and made love to me right then and there." "They don't like that in heaven", said the Angel. The woman replied: "They're not crazy about it in Costco either."

Question 4

Halloween Mummy Joke

Why are all mummies workaholics?

Question 5

Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac

An agnostic dyslexic insomniac must stay awake all night long wondering if there really is a dog.

Question 6

Walruses And Tupperware Joke

What do walruses and Tupperware have in common? They both like tight seals.

Question 7

High Blood Pressure

My doctor is concerned about my high blood pressure. I told him next time not to leave me sitting in the waiting room for two hours.

Question 8

Cooking Joke

I yelled into a colander while cooking... now my voice is strained.

Question 9

Sheep Wool Joke

Which side of the sheep has the most wool?⁣

Question 10

Kissed By A Vampire Joke

What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?

Question 11

Ghosts Are Terrible Liars Joke

Why are ghosts terrible liars?

Question 12

Your Type

Times New Roman and Helvetica walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type in here."

Question 13

Ghost Call Mom And Dad Joke

What does a ghost call his mom and dad?

Question 14

Witch At The Beach Joke

What do you call a witch that lives at the beach?

Question 15

Whats Draculas Favorite Streaming Service Joke

What's Dracula's favorite streaming service?

Question 16

Skeleton Scary Movie Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie?

Question 17

Ghost In The Fog Joke

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

Question 18

Ghost Favorite Place To Live Joke

Where is a ghosts favorite place to live?

Question 19

Ghost Hockey Player Joke

What position does a ghost play on his hockey team?

Question 20

Geico Pun

if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.

Question 21

Talk About Your Weight Joke

The doctor said to me this morning, "I'd like to talk about your weight." I said, "Well, it was about 25 minutes, but at least the chair was comfy!"

Question 22

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

I have a friend that's a little nuts. He thinks he is a chicken sometimes. I probably wouldn't hang around with him much but I can use the eggs.

Question 23

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

I would never open a restaurant on the moon....no atmosphere.

Question 24

More Lives Than A Cat Joke

What animal has more lives than a cat?

Question 25

Share Everything Joke

An elderly couple goes to a fast food place where they carefully split a burger and fries. A man takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. ''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.'' A few minutes later, the guy notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he offers again. ''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.'' Unconvinced, the guy asks the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?'' The wife snaps back, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

Question 26

Political Term Limits

A politician should do two terms - one in office and one in jail.

Question 27

High Standards

If all else fails... lower your standards.

Question 28

Do It Right The First Time

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

Question 29

The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do....Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" "Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!"

Question 30

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

The Joker

Wine Bottles

Talking Tree Pun

Must Give Up

Halloween Mummy Joke

Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac

Walruses And Tupperware Joke

High Blood Pressure

Cooking Joke

Sheep Wool Joke

Kissed By A Vampire Joke

Ghosts Are Terrible Liars Joke

Your Type

Ghost Call Mom And Dad Joke

Witch At The Beach Joke

Whats Draculas Favorite Streaming Service Joke

Skeleton Scary Movie Joke

Ghost In The Fog Joke

Ghost Favorite Place To Live Joke

Ghost Hockey Player Joke

Geico Pun

Talk About Your Weight Joke

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

More Lives Than A Cat Joke

Share Everything Joke

Political Term Limits

High Standards

Do It Right The First Time

The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

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