The Joker

Question 1

Bladder Infection Pun

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Question 2

A Flock Of Terns Flew Into My Marijuana Plants

A flock of Terns flew into my marijuana plants and ate most of them. There was no Tern unstoned.

Question 3

User Car Dealer Joke

It was in town last night and the local policeman was making his rounds, as he was checking the used car lot, he cam upon two old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it? Heavens no, we bought it. Then why don't you drive it away? We can't drive. Then why did you buy it? We were told that if you bought a used car here your would get screwed, so we're just waiting.

Question 4

COVID Gathering Joke

They Say We Can Have Gatherings With Up To Eight People Without Issues. I Don't Even Know Eight People Without Issues.

Question 5

She Missed Me Joke

She said she missed me. Normally, that would be good... But she's reloading.

Question 6

Easter Bunny Music Joke

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?

Question 7

Piano Locked Out Of The House Joke

Why was the piano locked out of the house?

Question 8

Drinking Problem Joke

I used to think drinking alcohol was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

Question 9

Finish What You Started

Heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus staying at home we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things i'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a boddle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!

Question 10

Coolest Doctor Joke

Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

Question 11

Road Construction Joke

What do road crews use at the North Pole?

Question 12

Post Office Worker Joke

Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office. He was thrilled because he had been looking for employment for a while, without any luck. It wasn't long before his first day arrived, and he headed to the Post Office brimming with confidence. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. His supervisor didn't understand how he was capable of working so fast but didn't question it. The supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." "Thank you, Sir," said Paul, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" Paul replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."

Question 13

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?

Question 14

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Why did the boy eat waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Question 15

Kids Cowboy Boots

The teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

Question 16

It's All In Your Head Joke

Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds!

Question 17

Fear Of Speed Bumps

I have a fear of speed bumps... I'm slowly getting over it.

Question 18

Wine Bottles

They should put more wine in a bottle... so there's enough for two people.

Question 19

Talking Tree Pun

A lumberjack walks into the woods and goes to cut down a tree with his ax. The tree shout out "hey wait I'm a talking tree". The lumberjack responds "you may be a talking tree but you'll dialogue".

Question 20

Must Give Up

An Angel visited a woman and told her she must give up smoking, drinking, and unmarried sex if she wanted to get into heaven. The woman said she would try her best. The Angel visited the woman a month later to see how she was getting on. "Not bad," said the woman, "I've given up smoking and drinking but when I bent over to look in the freezer, my boyfriend caught sight of my long slender legs in high heels and he pulled up my skirt and made love to me right then and there." "They don't like that in heaven", said the Angel. The woman replied: "They're not crazy about it in Costco either."

Question 21

Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac

An agnostic dyslexic insomniac must stay awake all night long wondering if there really is a dog.

Question 22

Walruses And Tupperware Joke

What do walruses and Tupperware have in common? They both like tight seals.

Question 23

Christmas Flu

Doctor says I have the Christmas flu. He called it tinselitis.

Question 24

Cooking With Wine

Tried cooking with wine last night, after 5 glasses,... I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

Question 25

Whats Draculas Favorite Streaming Service Joke

What's Dracula's favorite streaming service?

Question 26

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

What do witches put on to go trick or treating?

Question 27

What's The Difference Between A Dead Lawyer...

What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead dog in the road?

Question 28

Halloween Up All Night Joke

What happens when you stay up all night on Halloween?

Question 29

A Room Ghosts Avoid Joke

What room do ghost avoid?

Question 30

A King In A Big Glass Castle

A king lived in a big beautiful glass castle in a most beautiful kingdom yet he spent his days collecting expensive thrones and saying bad things about everyone in his kingdom. So one day it all came crashing down and killed him all because he had stored all those thrones in the attic of his big glass castle. The moral of this story is people who live in glass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

The Joker

Bladder Infection Pun

A Flock Of Terns Flew Into My Marijuana Plants

User Car Dealer Joke

COVID Gathering Joke

She Missed Me Joke

Easter Bunny Music Joke

Piano Locked Out Of The House Joke

Drinking Problem Joke

Finish What You Started

Coolest Doctor Joke

Road Construction Joke

Post Office Worker Joke

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Kids Cowboy Boots

It's All In Your Head Joke

Fear Of Speed Bumps

Wine Bottles

Talking Tree Pun

Must Give Up

Agnostic Dyslexic Insomniac

Walruses And Tupperware Joke

Christmas Flu

Cooking With Wine

Whats Draculas Favorite Streaming Service Joke

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

What's The Difference Between A Dead Lawyer...

Halloween Up All Night Joke

A Room Ghosts Avoid Joke

A King In A Big Glass Castle

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