The Joker

Question 1

Cow Bells

Question 2

Geico Pun

if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.

Question 3

Talk About Your Weight Joke

The doctor said to me this morning, "I'd like to talk about your weight." I said, "Well, it was about 25 minutes, but at least the chair was comfy!"

Question 4

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

I have a friend that's a little nuts. He thinks he is a chicken sometimes. I probably wouldn't hang around with him much but I can use the eggs.

Question 5

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

I would never open a restaurant on the moon....no atmosphere.

Question 6

More Lives Than A Cat Joke

What animal has more lives than a cat?

Question 7

Share Everything Joke

An elderly couple goes to a fast food place where they carefully split a burger and fries. A man takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. ''It's all right,'' says the husband. ''We share everything.'' A few minutes later, the guy notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. ''I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal,'' he offers again. ''She'll eat,'' the husband assures him. ''We share everything.'' Unconvinced, the guy asks the wife, ''Why aren't you eating?'' The wife snaps back, ''Because I'm waiting for the teeth!''

Question 8

Cure For Shyness Joke

So you suffer from shyness? Do you wish you were sometimes more assertive? Ask you Doctor or Pharmacist about Tequila!

Question 9

Two Jumper Cables Joke

Two jumper cables walk into a bar and the bartender says you better not start something here.

Question 10

My Wife And I Were Happy Joke

My wife and I were really happy for 22 years... Then we started dating.

Question 11

High Standards

If all else fails... lower your standards.

Question 12

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

Question 13

Mal Practice

A woman sued a Hospital stating that after a recent treatment her husband had lost all interest in sex. The Hospital in their defense stated... "All we did was correct his eyesight!"

Question 14

Dyslexic Pun

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Question 15

Skydiving Joke

If you go Skydiving, and your parachute fails, you have the rest of your life to try to fix it.

Question 16

A Flock Of Terns Flew Into My Marijuana Plants

A flock of Terns flew into my marijuana plants and ate most of them. There was no Tern unstoned.

Question 17

User Car Dealer Joke

It was in town last night and the local policeman was making his rounds, as he was checking the used car lot, he cam upon two old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it? Heavens no, we bought it. Then why don't you drive it away? We can't drive. Then why did you buy it? We were told that if you bought a used car here your would get screwed, so we're just waiting.

Question 18

COVID Gathering Joke

They Say We Can Have Gatherings With Up To Eight People Without Issues. I Don't Even Know Eight People Without Issues.

Question 19

She Missed Me Joke

She said she missed me. Normally, that would be good... But she's reloading.

Question 20

Easter Bunny Music Joke

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?

Question 21

Piano Locked Out Of The House Joke

Why was the piano locked out of the house?

Question 22

Drinking Problem Joke

I used to think drinking alcohol was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

Question 23

Finish What You Started

Heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus staying at home we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things i'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a boddle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!

Question 24

Coolest Doctor Joke

Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

Question 25

Don't Insult Your Waitress Joke

I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress "Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?" She kicked me out and said, "The men I please are none of your business!"

Question 26

Road Construction Joke

What do road crews use at the North Pole?

Question 27

Post Office Worker Joke

Paul got a part-time job at the Post Office. He was thrilled because he had been looking for employment for a while, without any luck. It wasn't long before his first day arrived, and he headed to the Post Office brimming with confidence. The first assignment his supervisor gave him was the job of sorting the mail. Paul separated the letters so fast that his motions were literally a blur. His supervisor didn't understand how he was capable of working so fast but didn't question it. The supervisor approached Paul at the end of his first day. "I just want you to know," the supervisor said, "that I'm very pleased with the job you did today. You're one of the fastest workers we've ever had." "Thank you, Sir," said Paul, beaming, "and tomorrow I'll try to do even better." "Better?" the supervisor asked with astonishment. "How can you possibly do any better than you did today?" Paul replied, "Tomorrow I'm going to read the addresses."

Question 28

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?

Question 29

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Why did the boy eat waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Question 30

Kids Cowboy Boots

The teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."

The Joker

Cow Bells

Geico Pun

Talk About Your Weight Joke

Thinks He's A Chicken Joke

Restaurant On The Moon Pun

More Lives Than A Cat Joke

Share Everything Joke

Cure For Shyness Joke

Two Jumper Cables Joke

My Wife And I Were Happy Joke

High Standards

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

Mal Practice

Dyslexic Pun

Skydiving Joke

A Flock Of Terns Flew Into My Marijuana Plants

User Car Dealer Joke

COVID Gathering Joke

She Missed Me Joke

Easter Bunny Music Joke

Piano Locked Out Of The House Joke

Drinking Problem Joke

Finish What You Started

Coolest Doctor Joke

Don't Insult Your Waitress Joke

Road Construction Joke

Post Office Worker Joke

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Kids Cowboy Boots

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