The Joker

Question 1

Ghost Call Mom And Dad Joke

What does a ghost call his mom and dad?

Question 2

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

What do witches put on to go trick or treating?

Question 3

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

Question 4

Ghost In The Fog Joke

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?

Question 5

Here's Your Sign

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident".. ..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"

Question 6

Halloween Up All Night Joke

What happens when you stay up all night on Halloween?

Question 7

A Room Ghosts Avoid Joke

What room do ghost avoid?

Question 8

What Would Jesus Do?

I found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself, What would Jesus do?

Question 9

The Favorite Child

I wish my siblings would stop calling me "spoiled" just because I'm the baby in the family. The fact is, my parents kept having children until they found one they liked. It's so not my issue.

Question 10

A Parachutist Joke

A parachutist is falling towards earth and can't get his parachute to open. Surprisingly he sees a guy flying up from earth and yells over to him "hey do you know anything about parachutes?" the other guys respond "no, do you know anything about gas grills?!

Question 11

Banana Sunscreen Joke

Why do bananas wear sunscreen?

Question 12

Midwife Joke

Midwives deserve a lot of respect... They really help people out!

Question 13

No Eye Dear Joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? ...no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? ....still no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs having sex? ...still fucking no eye deer.

Question 14

Ohno Bird Joke

Did you ever hear about the Ohno bird? It has two-inch long legs and a four-inch cock. Every time he lands you can hear him say "ohno ohno"

Question 15

My Best Friend And My Wife Joke

"Yesterday, my wife ran away with my best friend Steve." Said, Roger. Brian replied, "Since when is Steve your best friend?" Roger replied, "Since yesterday."

Question 16

Dying Computer Joke

How did the computer die?

Question 17

SERENITY

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "98," she replied... "Two years older than me." "So you're 96," the undertaker commented. She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

Question 18

Terrible Things You Do For Money

I've done some terrible things for money... Like getting up early to go to work.

Question 19

Keep A Bottle Of Wine In The Fridge Joke

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions... Sometimes the special occasion is that you have a bottle of wine in the fridge!

Question 20

Irish Jesus Joke

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?

Question 21

Child Extortion

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The little boy says, "Dark in here." The man says, "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a baseball." Man - "That's nice." Boy - "Want to buy it?" Man - "No, thanks." Boy - "My dad's outside." Man - "OK, how much?" Boy - "$150" Man - "Sold." In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?" Boy - "$350" Man - "Highway robbery. Sold." A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The boy says, "$500" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."

Question 22

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Tweety: knock knock. Sylvester: Who's there? Tweety: Gladys. Sylvester: Gladys who? Tweety: Gladys you and not that awful puddy tat!

Question 23

Finishing Up Yesterdays Work Joke

Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing up what I did yesterday.

Question 24

Chemist Joke

I don't want to get to technical but... Chemists think alcohol is a solution!

Question 25

Theatrical Puns

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Question 26

Caught Sleeping On The Job

If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "In Jesus Name, Amen"

Question 27

User Car Dealer Joke

It was in town last night and the local policeman was making his rounds, as he was checking the used car lot, he cam upon two old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it? Heavens no, we bought it. Then why don't you drive it away? We can't drive. Then why did you buy it? We were told that if you bought a used car here your would get screwed, so we're just waiting.

Question 28

Rodent Repellent Joke

Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?

Question 29

Electric Car License

Does anybody know if you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?

Question 30

Lawyer And The Stop Sign Joke

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big-shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Now tell me, do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

The Joker

Ghost Call Mom And Dad Joke

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

Ghost In The Fog Joke

Here's Your Sign

Halloween Up All Night Joke

A Room Ghosts Avoid Joke

What Would Jesus Do?

The Favorite Child

A Parachutist Joke

Banana Sunscreen Joke

Midwife Joke

No Eye Dear Joke

Ohno Bird Joke

My Best Friend And My Wife Joke

Dying Computer Joke

SERENITY

Terrible Things You Do For Money

Keep A Bottle Of Wine In The Fridge Joke

Irish Jesus Joke

Child Extortion

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Finishing Up Yesterdays Work Joke

Chemist Joke

Theatrical Puns

Caught Sleeping On The Job

User Car Dealer Joke

Rodent Repellent Joke

Electric Car License

Lawyer And The Stop Sign Joke

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