What Do You Do When Your Nose Goes On Strike
Why Did The Blonde Jump Off The Bridge
There Is Only One Thing I Can't Deal With Joke
Scarecrow Joke (In Prep For Fall)
Princess Leia Shopping Joke
Star Wars Restauant Workers Joke
Potato Turned To The Dark Side Joke
Sith Who Won't Fight Joke
Secrets Of The Galactic Empire Joke
What Do You Call A Book Club That’s Been Stuck On The Same Book For Years?
Yo Mama So Fat Jenny Craig Joke
A Funny Joke (about A Rat)
What Do You Call A Rat Crossing The Road?
This One Makes You Think...
Why Do Rats Suck At Taking Pictures?
A Church Has A Rat Problem
Why Was Dracula Afraid Of Cows Joke
What Do You Call Dracula When Hes Shopping For Bargains Joke
Where Does Dracula Get His Hair Cut Joke
Whats Draculas Favorite Streaming Service Joke
What Is Draculas Favorite Fruit Joke
What Did Dracula Suffer From After Biting A Snowman Joke
One Sad Coffee Coming Right Up!
Bono And Edge Walk Into A Bar Joke
Why Are Sandals So Indecisive Joke
Vegetable Call A Plumber Joke
How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke
Stealing A Thesaurus Joke
What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke
Did You Hear About The Kidnapping At The School Joke
A Guy Sits Down At The Bar Joke
I Just Ate A Bunch Of Scrabble Tiles Joke
What Part Of A Museum Has The Most Allergies?
What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?
Someone Called My Phone Today, Sneezed, And Then Hung Up Joke
The More Money You Make Sports Joke
The Blond And The Lawyer
Sitting next to each other on a plane is a blond woman and a lawyer. To make the plane ride a bit more interesting, the lawyer suggests that he and the blond play a game. "We each take turns to ask a question, and if you answer wrong you must give me $5 and if I answer wrong I give you $5." The blond woman says nothing. "Okay," says the man, "if I answer wrong, I have to give you $50, but if you answer wrong you only have to give me $5." "Alright," says the blond, "you go first." The man asks her "what is the distance from Earth to the nearest star?" the woman says nothing and hands $5 to the man. "What has five legs, is covered in pink and purple spots, and lives on a hill?" The lawyer, never having heard this riddle, gave the woman $50. "Wait," he said, "what is the answer to that question?" Without saying a word, the woman hands him $5.
An Elderly Man Lay Dying In His Bed Joke
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite sugar cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered enough strength to get out of bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom. With even greater effort, he forced his boney fingers to grab the handrail and he went down the stairs, one stumbling step at a time. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven. There, on the kitchen table, spread out in rows upon wax paper, were literally hundreds of his favorite sugar cookies. Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife of 60 years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he lunged toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched lips were slightly parted. The wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, driven by one last gritty effort, shakingly made its way towards a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife. "Stay out of those," she said, "They're for the funeral!"
A big-city lawyer went duck hunting in South Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied. "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the U.S. and, if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own." The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we do things in Louisiana. We rule ourselves under the Napoleonic Code. We settle small disagreements like this with the Louisiana Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the Louisiana Three Kick Rule?" The farmer replied. "Well, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on, back and forth, until someone gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the city feller. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees where he immediately vomited. The geezer's second kick nearly ripped the man's nose off his face. The barrister was flat on his belly when the farmer's third kick to a kidney nearly caused him to give up. The lawyer summoned every bit of his dark heart, vengeful will and managed to get to his feet, and said, "Okay, you old coot, now it's my turn." The old farmer said, "Naw, I give up. You can have the duck."
Why Did The Thief Wear Blue Gloves?
Where Does A Turtle Go When It’s Raining?
Leather And Sounds Like A Sneeze Joke
Golfers Take An Extra Pair Of Socks Joke
A Pool Filled With Tacos Joke
What Do Lemons Say When They Answer The Telephone?
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?" The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Giraffe’s Favorite Fruit Joke
Denist Hands In Mouth Joke
Why Did The Cow Cross The Road Joke
IKEA Was Appointed Prime Minister Of Sweden Joke
What Kind Of Key Opens A Haunted House?
Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?
What Did One Llama Say To The Other Llama?
Why Did The Dragon Sleep All Day?
Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?