JOKES

90 Funny Fart Jokes

Clown Fart

9 Clowns in an elevator, one of them silently farts. One leans over to another and wispers..."You smell something funny?".

Bodily Function Punctuation

A fart is the only bodily function which has its own punctuation. The skid mark.

Louder Than a Trombone

A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.

Weight of a Fart

-Dad, do farts have a weight? -I don't think so -So....well, I guess I pooped myself

Ninja Fart

A ninja is like a fart. They are both silent, but deadly.

Valentine's Day Poem

Love is the fart of every heart, for when held in it pains the host, but when released pains others most.

Bad Joke

Bad jokes are like farts, better to let them pass.

Skinless and Wingless Joke

What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies? A fart.

Chuck Norris Fart Joke

Chuck Norris farted once. He did it in the Sahara forest.

Clowns Farts

What is a clowns fart made of? Laughing gas.

Long Fart Joke

Did I ever tell you about the time I had a fart that lasted for an entire minute? It's a long-winded story.

Text a Fart Joke

Did you hear about the new text-a-fart service? It's just one cent per scent sent!

Unconstitutional Farts

Did you hear about the unconstitutional ban on farts? It's disgusting.

Fart pick Up Line

Did you just fart? Because you just blew me away.

Fart or Pun

Do you know the difference between a fart and a pun? A pun is a shift of wit.

Single Women Fart

Do you know why single women cant fart? Because they dont get a$&holes until they are married.

Elevator Fart

I once farted in an elevator. It was wrong on so many levels.

Emotions and Farts

Emotions are like farts. You can only hold them in for so long.

Fart after Pee

Why do women fart after they pee? They can't shake it, so they blow dry it instead!

Fart Chemistry

Why couldn't the chemist laugh at the queens fart? Because noble gases are nonreactive.

Fart in church

What Happens when you fart in church?. You sit in your own pew

What are Farts?

Farts are ghosts of things we eat!

Hold a Fart Joke

Farts I hold in! You might not get it. It's sort of an inside joke.

Funny Fart Joke

A boy comes home proudly announces to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked the class a question today and I was the only one who knew the right answer!" The parents are very happy and ask, "That's amazing Lenny! And what was the question?" Sticking out his chest, the boys says, "Who farted?"

Church Fart Pun

He who farts In church, sits In his own pew.

Hipster Fart

I farted in a room of hipsters. I watched them fight each other over who heard it first.

Blacksmith Fart Joke

How does a blacksmith know you farted? He smelt it

Teenagers are like Farts

How's a fart like a teenager alike? Because once you go to sleep, you can't trust either of them to not sneak out.

Switched Toothpaste Joke

I accidentally switched toothpaste with hemorrhoid cream. Now my sore tooth's better and my farts are minty fresh.

Fart Sword Joke

I asked my wife if she was going to make a sword out of my fart in bed last night. Cuz she schmelt it

Swallowing Ammunition Joke

I keep swallowing live ammunition. I thought, this time I'm going to go to the hospital, but as usual, I just farted a round at home.

German Sausage Joke

I love eating German sausage, but it always gives me the wurst farts.

Apple Store Fart

I once farted in the Apple Store and everybody got pissed. It's not my fault they don't have Windows

Beer and Beans.

I want to open a bar that serves nothing but expensive beer and baked beans. I'll call it Farts & Crafts.

Startled by a Loud Fart

I was startled by a loud fart. I was fartled.

Fartartist

I'm a fartartist. The fart is silent

Clown Fart Smell

If a clown farts does it smell funny?

Pharaohs Farts

If two pharaohs farted at the same time. They would have a toot in common

Public Fart Cover Up

If you ever fart in public, just yell, "Turbo power!" and walk faster.

Home Alone Fart

If you're home alone and hear a fart, do you laugh or get scared?

Irish Chili Joke

Did you know that Irish only put 239 beans in their chili? If they added just one more, it would be too-farty!

Kids are like Farts

Kids are like farts, I hate everyone elses but for some weird reason I like my own.

Love is like a fart.

Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, then it's probably poop?.

Never Hold Your Farts

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain,and that's where crappy ideas come from.

Jelly Bean Farts

Man who eat jellybeans, farts in technicolor.

Members of Congress are like farts.

We hate all of them except our own.

Military Fart

What does the US military and a fart have in common? Air Force.

Movie Theatre Fart

An elderly couple are at the cinema. About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?' He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

Orbital Flatulence Joke

My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work. Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just farting around.

Wife Farts

My wife says her farts smell like flowers... cauliflowers maybe.

NASA farts

What happens after NASA farts? It Apollo-gises.

National Fart Day.

February 10th should be National Fart Day. Because it's 2/10.

Silent Farts That Don't Stink

An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up. "Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!" The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way. Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up. "Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!" Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."

Buddy Farts

So my buddy always looks at me when he farts. I think it's just inflatuation.

Teacher Fart

What do you call a teacher that doesn't fart in public? A private tooter.

The Difference Between Men and Women

The difference between men and women is that after being in a relationship for six months a woman wonders if it's time to say 'I love you' and a man wonders if it time to fart in bed.

EU Fart

The EU is much like a bad fart. Better out than in.

The Maxi Pad and the Fart

What did the maxi-pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."

Astronomy Fart

The number of my farts is gastronomical.

Don't Force a Fart

Thought I could safely force a fart, but it backfired.

Two Airplane Mechanics Joke

Bob and Tim work at Atlanta airport. Atlanta gets fogged in one night and nothing can take off or land so Bob and Tim have nothing to do. After work Bob and Tim usually have a drink on their way home, so Bob says to Tim, “I heard that you can get a buzz off drinking jet fuel.” Since they have nothing better to do, they try it. Finally, their shift is over and they get to go home. Next morning Bob calls Tim and says, “How are you feeling?” Tim says he's fine, never felt better. Bob asks, “Do you have a hangover?” Tim says no. Then Tim says, “Wow this is great! We can drink all we want and not get a hangover.” Then Bob says, “Well, there is one side effect, Tim. Have you farted yet?” Tim says, “No, why?” Bob says, “I'm calling you from Detroit!”

Two Flies On a Turd

Two flies are eating a turd. One of them farts, and the other one says "Dude, gross. I'm eating."

Wallet Fart

I farted in my wallet, now I have gas money.

Fart Cutter

What cuts four farts in the morning, two farts at midday, and three farts in the evening? A sphinxter.

Degree in Flatulence

What degree did the butt get? A Master of Fine Farts.

Ice Fart

What did water say when ice farted? Ice melt it.

Bad Coffee

What do you call a coffee made with frothy milk that tastes like crap? A farte.

Paraplegic Fart

What do you call a fart from a paraplegic? Inert gas.

Farting Russian

What do you call a farting Russian? Vladimir Putin.

Gassy Greek

What do you call a gassy greek? A Fartin' Spartan.

Gassy Scotsman

what do you call a gassy Scotsman? Bravefart.

Group of Armpit Farters

What do you call a group of armpit farters? A pit orchestra.

Hydrocarbon Fart Jokes

What do you call a hydrocarbon that tells fart jokes? Crude Oil.

Fart Scented Candles

What do you call a man who makes fart scented candles? Incense-itive.

Fart Teacher

What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart? A tutor.

Sudden Fart

What do you call a sudden fart? An insta-tute.

Vegetarian Fart

What do you call a vegetarian fart? Kale force wind.

George Thorogood Fart

What do you call it when George Thorogood farts on a throne? Air to the bone.

Pegasus Farts

What do you call Pegasus farts? Horse power.

Fart-lateral Damage

What do you call poop that comes out with a fart? Unexpec-turd.

Cow Farts

What does a cow's fart smell like? Dairy-air.

Middle Eastern Food

What happens when you eat middle eastern food? You get falawful farts.

Another Name for a Burp

What is burp? A fart taking the elevator.

Sharpest Thing in the World

What is the sharpest thing in the world? A fart. It will cut through your pants and not even leave a hole.

Smells Like Mice

What's Invisible and Smells Like Mice? Cat farts.

Skeleton Burp

Why did the skeleton burp? Because he didn't have the guts to fart.

Women Don't Fart

Why don't women fart? They can't keep their mouths shut long enough to build up any pressure.

Don't Waste A Fart

Why fart and waste it? When you can burp and taste it.

Man's Best Friend

Why is the dog man's best friend? So he has to have someone to blame the farts on.

Yoga Fart

"Yoga", a Hindi word meaning I hope I don’t fart.