What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin π.
Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas?
Because 31/8(oct) and 25/10 (dec):
31 in base 8 = 25 in base 10,
25=8*3 + 1,
25= 10*2 + 5.
There are only three kinds of people in this world: those that are good at math.. and those that aren't.
Three college professors were driving down the highway at a very slow speed. A policeman pulled them over and explained that driving so slowly on the highway could be hazardous. The driver pointed out the sign that read "20." He explained that he was going 20 mph because of the sign. The policeman pointed out that the sign indicated they were driving on Highway 20. Somewhat embarrassed the professor apologized and promised to be more observant. As the policeman turned to walk back to his car, he noticed the other two professors on the floor ...looking scared to death! He asked the driver, "What's wrong with them?" The driver replied, "We just turned off Highway 105."
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psycology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid stand up!" After a few seconds, little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Ate two cans of Alphabet Soup. Had a terrible vowel movement.
Teacher: Whats usually used as the conductor of electricity?
Student: Why-er....
Teacher: Correct, wire. Now tell me, what is the unit of electrical power?
Student: The what?
Teacher: That's absolutely right, the watt.
What do you call a person who teaches you how to fart?
A tutor.