Last updated:

Kid Jokes

Sort Rating
Joke: It's CORN! + Who let the DOGS OUT? What is it?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why do melons have weddings?
Punch Line
VOTE
Why do melons have weddings? Joke Meme.
Joke: What did the dog say to the tree?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
VOTE
 Joke Meme.
Joke: How do the kids of dentists get around the neighborhood?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why wouldn't they let the butterfly in to the dance?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the big flower say to the little flower?
Punch Line
VOTE
 Joke Meme.
Joke: What kind of shoes does a frog wear?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: In which river are you sure to find snakes?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Where do cows go on Friday nights?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What kind of cars do cats drive?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the cold book do?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What does it take to be an organ donor?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What's worse than a worm in an apple?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What's a monster's favorite play?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Did you know? You can distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or after a while.
VOTE
Joke: What do you get if you are allergic to noodles?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: My wife asked me to clear the dining table...I had to get a running start but I made it!
VOTE
Joke: What building in your town has the most stories?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do witches put on to go trick or treating?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What's a witch's favorite subject in school?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What room do ghost avoid?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children's books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell them they were signing a "Contract" for returning the books on time. Her first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new Librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the Librarian, giving her his name as he did so. The Librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with a look of utter disgust. Before the Librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, "The other Librarian could write."
VOTE
Joke: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why didn't the skeleton go to see a scary movie?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why did the boy eat waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: The teacher was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots. He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?" like she wanted to. And once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner than they got the boots off he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry, but she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots."
VOTE
Joke: Which side of the sheep has the most wool?⁣
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why do bananas wear sunscreen?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What animal has more lives than a cat?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do you call a witch that lives at the beach?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do you call a cat caught by the police?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why did the hamburger go to the gym?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the sink say to the toilet?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why did the illiterate witch get kicked out of the coven?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Where do ghost's go on vacation?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why are graveyards so noisy?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why are skeletons so calm?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What would be the national holiday for a nation of vampires?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: When I was about 7 years old, my mom forced me to go with her to the funeral of a friend of hers that I didn't know. When we got there, I stayed in a corner waiting for the funeral to end. Then a man approached me and said: "Enjoy life, boy. Be happy because time flies. Look at me now, I didn't enjoy mine." He patted my head and left. Before leaving, my mom forced me to say goodbye to the dead person. When I looked in the coffin, I was startled to see the man who was talking to me in the corner was the same one in the coffin. For several years, I was not able to sleep properly because of nightmares. Years later, I discovered that the dead man had a twin brother.
VOTE
Joke: Why did the kitten smell so good?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did one llama say to the other llama?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while… Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet." Mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" Billy says: "works for ketchup."
VOTE
Joke: Why is milk the fastest liquid on earth?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What kind of cars do elves drive?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Where do mermaids look for jobs?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: How do you fix a damaged Jack-O-Lantern?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: How do monsters like there eggs cooked?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do skeletons travel around in?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What can you find in a ghost's nose?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do you say to a person who says that they are going to tell on you?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "If you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants." the boy replied.
VOTE
Joke: What do dinosaurs use on the floors of their kitchens?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why are dogs like cell phones?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: How do you fix a broken tomato?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What is a livestock's favorite math tool?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: How many feet are in a yard?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why are all mummies workaholics?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why is Dracula so easy to trick on Halloween?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the ghost say to his wife?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why don't mummies take time off?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What's on the lunch menu at Monster School?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What do demons eat for breakfast?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why didn't the zombie like his new house?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Five year old Alan tells his kindergarten teacher that he has a new baby brother, called Spot. "Spot?" says the teacher. "Are you sure it's not a puppy your Dad bought you?" Alan was adamant that his brother's name was Spot. The next morning, he made a correction and told his teacher, "Actually, it's Mark."
VOTE
Joke: Why did the farmer bury his money?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: How do you make an octopus laugh?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the alien in the garden say?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Who's the king of the pencil case?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: When does a cookie go to see a doctor?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: How much does a skeleton weigh?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What's a ghosts favorite dessert?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the skeleton say to the dog?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: Why are ghosts bad liars?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the Jack-O-Lantern say to the pumpkin?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did the turkey say to the computer?
Punch Line
VOTE
Joke: What did Batman do in the bathroom?
Punch Line
VOTE