The Joker

Question 1

Never Finish Anything Joke

I never finish anything... I have a black belt in partial arts.

Question 2

User Car Dealer Joke

It was in town last night and the local policeman was making his rounds, as he was checking the used car lot, he cam upon two old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car or were they trying to steal it? Heavens no, we bought it. Then why don't you drive it away? We can't drive. Then why did you buy it? We were told that if you bought a used car here your would get screwed, so we're just waiting.

Question 3

COVID Gathering Joke

They Say We Can Have Gatherings With Up To Eight People Without Issues. I Don't Even Know Eight People Without Issues.

Question 4

Easter Bunny Music Joke

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?

Question 5

Drinking Problem Joke

I used to think drinking alcohol was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

Question 6

Finish What You Started

Heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus staying at home we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things i'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a boddle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!

Question 7

Coolest Doctor Joke

Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?

Question 8

Don't Insult Your Waitress Joke

I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress "Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?" She kicked me out and said, "The men I please are none of your business!"

Question 9

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?

Question 10

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chef And A Meteorologist?

What do you get when you cross a chef and a meteorologist?

Question 11

Pro's And Con's

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Question 12

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Why did the boy eat waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Question 13

Free Parking

Did you hear about the stupid blonde?

Question 14

Honeymoon Surprise

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Question 15

Janitor Out Of The Closet Joke

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Question 16

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

What does it take to be an organ donor?

Question 17

Talk In My Sleep Joke

My wife says that I talk in my sleep but I don't believe her... nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

Question 18

Coffin Joke

I saw an ad for a coffin and thought... "That's the last thing I need!"

Question 19

What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke

What do you call dogs that rarely bark?

Question 20

Ted Bundy Pickup Line Joke

What was Ted Bundy's favorite pick up line?

Question 21

Leonardo Da Vinci Advice

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Leonardo da Vinci

Question 22

Date Joke

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. That's when I know we weren't going to work out.

Question 23

Blind Dinosaur Joke

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Question 24

Christmas Flu

Doctor says I have the Christmas flu. He called it tinselitis.

Question 25

Demons And Ghouls Joke

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Question 26

Cooking With Wine

Tried cooking with wine last night, after 5 glasses,... I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

Question 27

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

What do witches put on to go trick or treating?

Question 28

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

Question 29

Here's Your Sign

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. He seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested. The case came up in court. The Judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied... "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are Coming" and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself. BUT, your Honor, when she moved for the fourth time and sat under the sign that said "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident".. ..I just lost it......."CASE DISMISSED!!"

Question 30

Halloween Up All Night Joke

What happens when you stay up all night on Halloween?

The Joker

Never Finish Anything Joke

User Car Dealer Joke

COVID Gathering Joke

Easter Bunny Music Joke

Drinking Problem Joke

Finish What You Started

Coolest Doctor Joke

Don't Insult Your Waitress Joke

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chef And A Meteorologist?

Pro's And Con's

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Free Parking

Honeymoon Surprise

Janitor Out Of The Closet Joke

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

Talk In My Sleep Joke

Coffin Joke

What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke

Ted Bundy Pickup Line Joke

Leonardo Da Vinci Advice

Date Joke

Blind Dinosaur Joke

Christmas Flu

Demons And Ghouls Joke

Cooking With Wine

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

Here's Your Sign

Halloween Up All Night Joke

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