The Joker

Question 1

Do It Right The First Time

Of course I don't look busy, I did it right the first time.

Question 2

The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a saloon and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said "Who owns the big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, "I do....Why?" The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you’d like to know that your horse is about dead outside!" The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and sure enough Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better." Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe" and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger returned to the saloon to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?" The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?" "Nothing, but you left your injun runnin!"

Question 3

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

Question 4

Dyslexic Pun

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Question 5

Skydiving Joke

If you go Skydiving, and your parachute fails, you have the rest of your life to try to fix it.

Question 6

Most Famous Married Women In America

Who is the most famous married woman in The United States?

Question 7

Digging And Filling Holes

There were two men working for the city council. One would dig and dig and dig until a deep hole in the ground appeared. The other would come behind him and fill the hole with piles of dirt. The two men worked furiously: one digging a hole, the other filling it up again. A man was watching the pair from the footpath but couldn’t understand what they were doing. Finally, he had to ask. He said to the hole digger: “I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes behind you and fills it up again!” The hole digger replied: “Oh yeah, it must look funny, but the guy who plants the trees is sick today.”

Question 8

Never Finish Anything Joke

I never finish anything... I have a black belt in partial arts.

Question 9

COVID Gathering Joke

They Say We Can Have Gatherings With Up To Eight People Without Issues. I Don't Even Know Eight People Without Issues.

Question 10

Easter Bunny Music Joke

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?

Question 11

Drinking Problem Joke

I used to think drinking alcohol was bad for me, so I gave up thinking.

Question 12

Finish What You Started

Heard a Dr. on TV saying in this time of Coronavirus staying at home we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things i'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a boddle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!

Question 13

Don't Insult Your Waitress Joke

I was at a restaurant and said to the waitress "Excuse me, can I ask you something about the menu please?" She kicked me out and said, "The men I please are none of your business!"

Question 14

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?

Question 15

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chef And A Meteorologist?

What do you get when you cross a chef and a meteorologist?

Question 16

Pro's And Con's

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

Question 17

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Why did the boy eat waffles for breakfast, lunch and dinner?

Question 18

Free Parking

Did you hear about the stupid blonde?

Question 19

Honeymoon Surprise

Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together. In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his Mom if Fred and Mary are up yet. She replies, "No". Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school." Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" She replies, "No." Johnny says, "Do you know what I think?" His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school." After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?" His mom says "No." He asks, "Do you know what I think?" His Mom replies, "Ok, do tell me what you think?" He says: "Last night Fred came to my room for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."

Question 20

Janitor Out Of The Closet Joke

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

Question 21

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

What does it take to be an organ donor?

Question 22

Coffin Joke

I saw an ad for a coffin and thought... "That's the last thing I need!"

Question 23

What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke

What do you call dogs that rarely bark?

Question 24

Leonardo Da Vinci Advice

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Leonardo da Vinci

Question 25

Date Joke

I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up. That's when I know we weren't going to work out.

Question 26

Blind Dinosaur Joke

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Question 27

Christmas Flu

Doctor says I have the Christmas flu. He called it tinselitis.

Question 28

Demons And Ghouls Joke

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?

Question 29

Cooking With Wine

Tried cooking with wine last night, after 5 glasses,... I forgot why I was in the kitchen.

Question 30

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

What do witches put on to go trick or treating?

The Joker

Do It Right The First Time

The Loan Ranger And Tonto Go Into A Saloon

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

Dyslexic Pun

Skydiving Joke

Most Famous Married Women In America

Digging And Filling Holes

Never Finish Anything Joke

COVID Gathering Joke

Easter Bunny Music Joke

Drinking Problem Joke

Finish What You Started

Don't Insult Your Waitress Joke

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What Do You Get When You Cross A Chef And A Meteorologist?

Pro's And Con's

Why Did The Boy Eat Waffles For Breakfast, Lunch And Dinner?

Free Parking

Honeymoon Surprise

Janitor Out Of The Closet Joke

What Does It Take To Be An Organ Donor?

Coffin Joke

What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke

Leonardo Da Vinci Advice

Date Joke

Blind Dinosaur Joke

Christmas Flu

Demons And Ghouls Joke

Cooking With Wine

Witch Trick Or Treating Joke

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