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An elderly couple are at the cinema. About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work. Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just farting around.
A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?
None of them, because you can't get a banana from a coconut tree.
Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems he's a web designer.
What do you do if you're addicted to seaweed?
My wife says her farts smell like flowers...
They said mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.
They lied, everyone else had clothes on.
If you ever fart in public, just yell, "Turbo power!" and walk faster.
I tried to catch some fog... I mist!
Why are hairdressers always on time?
Because they know all the short cuts!