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What does the Rabbi love even more than his shekels?

Foreskins.

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An elderly couple are at the cinema. About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

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My thesis on Orbital Flatulence took seven years of hard work. Well, that's what I tell everyone. I was really just farting around.

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I'd tell you a fart joke... But I've run out of gas.

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A monkey, a squirrel, and a bird are racing to the top of a coconut tree. Who will get the banana first, the monkey, the squirrel, or the bird?

None of them, because you can't get a banana from a coconut tree.

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What do you do if you're addicted to seaweed?

Sea kelp.

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Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems he's a web designer.

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I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket. As I was about to leave, I thought to myself, "What if I fell off my bicycle, the bottle would break". So, I drank all the Scotch before I road home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bike seven times on the way home.

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My wife says her farts smell like flowers...

Cauliflowers maybe.

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They said mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store.

They lied, everyone else had clothes on.

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