The Joker

Question 1

Fastest Liquid Joke

Why is milk the fastest liquid on earth?

Question 2

Drunken Wrapper

Do not drink and wrap presents. Also, if someone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm going to need that back.

Question 3

Nair Hair Removal Warnings!

This lady found out her dog could hardly hear so she took it to the veterinarian. He found that the problem was hair in its ears. He cleaned both ears and the dog could hear fine. The vet then proceeded to tell the lady that if she wanted to keep this from recurring she should go to the store and get some "Nair" hair remover and rub it in the dog's ears once a month. The lady goes to the drug store and gets some "Nair" hair remover. At the register, the druggist tells her, "If you’re going to use this under your arms don't use deodorant for a few days." The lady says: "I'm not using it under my arms." The druggist says: "If you're using it on your legs don’t shave for a couple of days." The lady says: "I’m not using it on my legs either; if you must know, I'm using it on my schnauzer.." The druggist says: "Stay off your bicycle for at least a week."

Question 4

What Life's About.

Life is all about ass: You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or you live with one.

Question 5

Joined A Gym

It's been six months since I joined the gym and still no progress. I'm going there tomorrow to find out what's going on.

Question 6

Dog Gunfight Pun

A dog walks into a bar in the old west days and ends up in a fight. They go out in the street and in a shootout he gets his gun shot out of his hand. He comes back into the saloon the next day with his gun strapped on the other side and says .."I want to see the son of a bitch that shot my paw?"

Question 7

May Flowers Joke

If April showers bring May flowers what do may flowers bring?

Question 8

Algebra Relationship Joke

When are relationships like algebra?

Question 9

Immature Joke

A friend kept telling me how immature I am so I told him to get out of my fort.

Question 10

What's The Difference Between A Dead Lawyer...

What's the difference between a dead lawyer and a dead dog in the road?

Question 11

Mermaid Jobs Joke

Where do mermaids look for jobs?

Question 12

Inside A Ghosts Nose Joke

What can you find in a ghost's nose?

Question 13

Superhero Joke

What do you call a superhero with a bad sense of direction?

Question 14

Green Pepper Archer

Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

Question 15

Wild Falcons

Wild falcons live to be about 13, so all the falcons in the world today were born in the 21st century... They're millennial falcons!

Question 16

Shark Attack Facts

Did you know... Sharks will only attack you when you're wet?

Question 17

A Woman's Car Broke Down Joke

A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final 'Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!' and rode off. "What did you do to get that Indian so excited?" asked the service-station attendant. "Nothing," the woman answered "I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off." "Lady," the attendant said, "Indians don't use saddles."

Question 18

Lesbian With Long Nails

What do you call a lesbian with long nails?

Question 19

Burro Vs Burrow

People who confuse the words "burro" and "burrow" don't know their a$$ from a hole in the ground.

Question 20

Smart Duck Joke

What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?

Question 21

Hurricane Joke

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Question 22

My Wife And I Were Happy Joke

My wife and I were really happy for 22 years... Then we started dating.

Question 23

Lobster Joke

Stopped by a roadside stand that said lobster tails $2. Paid my $2, then he says, "Once upon a time there was this lobster...".

Question 24

Where Do Polar Bears Vote Joke

Where do polar bears vote?

Question 25

Chocolate Syrup Ice Cream Joke

What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

Question 26

Humming Bird Joke

Why are they called humming birds?

Question 27

Dog That Won't Fetch Or Listen Joke

What do you call a dog that won't fetch or listen?

Question 28

Dogs And Fire Hydrants Joke

Some days you're the Dog, & Some days you're the Hydrant.

Question 29

What Did The Horse Say When It Fell Joke

What did the horse say when it fell?

Question 30

Monkey Say To Banana Joke

What did the monkey say to the banana?

The Joker

Fastest Liquid Joke

Drunken Wrapper

Nair Hair Removal Warnings!

What Life's About.

Joined A Gym

Dog Gunfight Pun

May Flowers Joke

Algebra Relationship Joke

Immature Joke

What's The Difference Between A Dead Lawyer...

Mermaid Jobs Joke

Inside A Ghosts Nose Joke

Superhero Joke

Green Pepper Archer

Wild Falcons

Shark Attack Facts

A Woman's Car Broke Down Joke

Lesbian With Long Nails

Burro Vs Burrow

Smart Duck Joke

Hurricane Joke

My Wife And I Were Happy Joke

Lobster Joke

Where Do Polar Bears Vote Joke

Chocolate Syrup Ice Cream Joke

Humming Bird Joke

Dog That Won't Fetch Or Listen Joke

Dogs And Fire Hydrants Joke

What Did The Horse Say When It Fell Joke

Monkey Say To Banana Joke

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