You're so ugly, you can't even turn on a lightbulb!
You're so stupid that when you send a FAX you put a stamp on it.
I would punch you but I couldn't make you any uglier.
You were so ugly as a baby you were the poster child on the birth control posters.
I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
I haven't seen anyone run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.
Why don't you slip into something comfortable. Like a coma.
You're so ugly when you go outside your arrested for indecent exposure.
People say you are the perfect idiot. I say you are not perfect, but you are doing pretty good.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought I was stupid, Then I met you!
You're so stupid, you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
You're so dumb you invented water proof tea bags!
A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house. While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, 'Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?' The kid says, 'Daddy told me you were a self-made man.' The man replies, 'I am'. The kid responds, 'Well, why did you make yourself like that?'
"I never forget a face. However, in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." -Groucho Marx
Your so stupid you invented glow in the dark sun glasses!
You're so fat that everybody has to talk behind your back!
You're so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit around the house.
The gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal.
You're so stupid that you sold your car for gas money!
You are not as stupid as you look. That would be impossible.
How do you confuse a stupid person?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.