You're so ugly, you can't even turn on a lightbulb!
I would punch you but I couldn't make you any uglier.
You're so stupid that when you send a FAX you put a stamp on it.
I haven't seen anyone run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.
If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.
I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind her so much of all her mistakes!
You were so ugly as a baby you were the poster child on the birth control posters.
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks. He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat-up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said, "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in just a few seconds. Nothing else will do. My birthday is coming up. so surprise me!" He did just that, so for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. Nobody has seen or heard from him since.
Your so stupid you invented glow in the dark sun glasses!
You're so dumb you invented water proof tea bags!
You're so ugly when you go outside your arrested for indecent exposure.
"I never forget a face. However, in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception." -Groucho Marx
People say you are the perfect idiot. I say you are not perfect, but you are doing pretty good.
Why don't you slip into something comfortable. Like a coma.
You're so stupid, you tried to kill a bird by throwing it off a cliff.
A man comes to dinner at a new friend's house. While they eat, the new friend's small son keeps staring at the guest. Finally, the guest says, 'Why are you staring at me like that, young fellow?' The kid says, 'Daddy told me you were a self-made man.' The man replies, 'I am'. The kid responds, 'Well, why did you make yourself like that?'
You're so fat, when you sit around the house, you really sit around the house.
You're so fat that everybody has to talk behind your back!
The gap between your teeth is so big, I don't know whether to smile back or kick a field goal.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I thought I was stupid, Then I met you!
You're so stupid that you sold your car for gas money!
How do you confuse a stupid person?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
You are not as stupid as you look. That would be impossible.