What do you call a musician with real high morals?
What do you call a group of armpit farters?
A pit orchestra.
Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens?
All they said was "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
Did you hear that Jon Bon Jovi is on a strict fruit diet?
He's living on a pear.
Hey, did you hear about the experiment where they blessed the rains down in Africa?
I heard it was a ToTo failure!
You know how you can tell when there is a pilot in a room?
He'll tell you!
A musician who joined an orchestra on a cruise ship was having difficulty keeping time with the rest of the band. Finally, the captain said, "Either you learn to keep time or I'll throw you overboard. . . . It's up to you, sync or swim."
My friend composes songs about sewing machines. He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.
A woman is on trial for beating her husband with his guitars. The judge asks her, "first offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender."
Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But, did he listen?
My friend is changing his bands name to 999 Megabytes because they never got a gig.
I hate when I'm singing along to a song and the artist gets the lyrics wrong...
Did you hear about the constipated composer?
He couldn't finish his last movement.