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Get your laugh on with this list of funny animal jokes.  Our animal jokes are family and kid-friendly. Have an animal joke you would like to share?  It's easy, sign up and submit your favorite animal jokes. 

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Joke: Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass
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Joke: Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf?
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Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf? Joke Meme.
Joke: What soft drink do pigs like best?
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Joke: What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?
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Joke: Why aren't dogs good dancers?
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 Joke Meme.
Joke: What did the dog say to the tree?
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Joke: Where did the Dog get his fleas?
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Joke: Why did the chicken go to the KFC?
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 Joke Meme.
Joke: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
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Joke: What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?
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Joke: What do you call an elephant chasing a cat?
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Joke: What was the elephant doing on the highway?
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Joke: What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
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Joke: What do you call a pig with invisible legs?
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Joke: What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?
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Joke: Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!
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Joke: Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."
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Joke: What did one lab rat say to the other?
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Joke: Why did the turtle cross the road?
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Joke: What happens when you put a pig in a musical?
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Joke: What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?
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Joke: What kind of shoes does a frog wear?
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Joke: What do you call Pegasus farts?
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Joke: How does a Japanese dog say hello?
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Joke: In which river are you sure to find snakes?
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Joke: What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?
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Joke: When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?
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Joke: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"
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Joke: What kind of cars do cats drive?
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Joke: Bought the wife a hamster fur coat for her birthday, she was delighted with it. We went to the fair; took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!
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Joke: Where do cows go on Friday nights?
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Joke: What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?
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Joke: Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?
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Joke: Why did the cow cross the road?
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Joke: Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech tree says to the birch tree, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is Neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever had my pecker into!"
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Joke: Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?
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Joke: Why did the French dog look in the toilet?
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Joke: What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
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Joke: What type a dog laughs at every joke?
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Joke: What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?
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Joke: What do you get when you cross a pig and a canary?
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Joke: Why would a pig dressed in all black never get bullied?
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Joke: Why did the pig have ink all over his face?
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Joke: What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?
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Joke: Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!
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Joke: Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?
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Joke: How does a pig write a letter?
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Joke: Why did the pig get hired at the restaurant?
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Joke: What's worse than a worm in an apple?
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Joke: What do you give your dog when you want it to be quiet?
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Joke: Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.
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Joke: Where do sheep go on vacation?
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Joke: Did you know? You can distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or after a while.
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Joke: What do you call a zoo with no dogs?
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Joke: This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks. "Well," they said, "Let's try this out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as you like, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.
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Joke: Since Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
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Joke: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
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Joke: Tweety: knock knock. Sylvester: Who's there? Tweety: Gladys. Sylvester: Gladys who? Tweety: Gladys you and not that awful puddy tat!
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Joke: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
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Joke: Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?
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Joke: Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?
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Joke: What's a snake favorite school subject?
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Joke: What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?
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Joke: Why do cows wear bells?
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Joke: Why did the pig stand in the middle of the road?
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Joke: What’s a pig’s favourite Shakespeare play?
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Joke: So, a duck walks into a bar. It asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies, "No? I mean this is a bar. We don't really sell that kind of stuff..." So the duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back in. "Got any grapes?" the duck asks. "No," The bartender says of annoyed. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back and asks, "Got any grapes?" Finally, the bartender has had enough. "NO! We don't have any grapes. If you come in one more time asking if you've got any grapes, I'll nail your bill to the wall!" The duck leaves. The next day it comes back and says, "Got any nails?" The bartender replies, "No?" Then the duck says, "Got any grapes?"
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Joke: What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?
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Joke: What do you call dogs that rarely bark?
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Joke: A man went camping in the woods by himself. He awoke early in the morning to hear a strange growling sound. He looked out to see a bear. He immediately began to run as fast as he could. The bear was gaining on him and he finally gave up hope, fell on his knees and said "Oh God, please let this be a Christian bear! "He turned to see the bear on his knees saying "Lord bless this food I am about to recieve..."
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Joke: What do walruses and Tupperware have in common? They both like tight seals.
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Joke: if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.
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Joke: How do you catch an unusual rabbit?
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Joke: What did the egg say when the Easter Bunny told a joke?
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Joke: What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?
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Joke: If a pig loses his voice, does that mean he's disgruntled?
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Joke: Which side of the sheep has the most wool?⁣
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Joke: What animal has more lives than a cat?
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Joke: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?
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Joke: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
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Joke: What do you call a cat caught by the police?
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Joke: What is a giraffe's favorite fruit?
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Joke: A guy ends up in the emergency room from eating bad horse meat. The doctor told his family he's in stable condition.
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Joke: As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck. As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After a while he stands on his back paws to push the "stop" button, then the butcher follows him off. The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap!- against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing at the dog. The butcher runs up screams at the guy: "What the hell are you doing? This dog's a genius!" The owner responds, "Genius, my ass. It's the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"
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Joke: Why are they called humming birds?
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Joke: Where does the Easter Bunny go for new tails?
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Joke: Why did the pig stop sunbathing?
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Joke: What do you call a trendy pig?
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Joke: Why are tigers Christians?
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Joke: How late do cows stay up?
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Joke: Why do vampires need mouthwash?
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Joke: Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?
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Joke: Why Did The Dear Need Braces?
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Joke: Why does a lion kneel before it springs?
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Joke: Why did the kitten smell so good?
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Joke: What did one llama say to the other llama?
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Joke: Where does a turtle go when it's raining?
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Joke: Why do rats suck at taking pictures?
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Joke: Where can you find a dog with no legs?
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Joke: I watch my dog chase his tail for five minutes and thought, "Wow! Dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized, I just watched my dog chase his tail for five minutes.
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