Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell gas station!
Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf?
He chewed off three legs and was still caught in the trap.
What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?
A zebra with a drum.
What do you call Pegasus farts?
A man went camping in the woods by himself. He awoke early in the morning to hear a strange growling sound. He looked out to see a bear. He immediately began to run as fast as he could. The bear was gaining on him and he finally gave up hope, fell on his knees and said "Oh God, please let this be a Christian bear! "He turned to see the bear on his knees saying "Lord bless this food I am about to recieve..."
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says I think I might be a type O!
What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?
Total Eclipse of a fart.
Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass
Why do cows wear bells?
In case their horns don't work.
What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?