281 Animal Jokes - Fart.com

Jan 21, 2020 Last updated: Dec 07, 2021

Get your laugh on with this list of funny animal jokes. Our animal jokes are family and kid-friendly. Have an animal joke you would like to share? It's easy, sign up and submit your favorite animal jokes.

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What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Bass Fart

Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass

Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass Joke Meme. — Bass Fart Joke Meme.

Polish Wolf

Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf?

Prairie Dog Shadow

What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?

Dancing Dog Joke

Why aren't dogs good dancers?

Joke Meme. — Dancing Dog Joke Joke Meme

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

What did the dog say to the tree?

Dog Joke

Where did the Dog get his fleas?

Gross Chicken

Why did the chicken go to the KFC?

Joke Meme. — Gross Chicken Joke Meme

Sheep Covered In Chocolate Joke

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

Cliffdiver

What makes a fish fall off a cliff?

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?

Elephant On A Highway

What was the elephant doing on the highway?

Chasing A Cat

What do you call an elephant chasing a cat?

Black And White Joke

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

Pig With Invisible Legs Joke

What do you call a pig with invisible legs?

Small Lizard Joke

Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?

Tom The Turkey Joke

Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."

This One Makes You Think...

What did one lab rat say to the other?

Chicken Salad Joke

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

Why Did The Turtle.....

Why did the turtle cross the road?

Pig In A Musical Joke

What happens when you put a pig in a musical?

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?

Frog Shoes Joke

What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Pegasus Farts

What do you call Pegasus farts?

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

In which river are you sure to find snakes?

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

What kind of cars do cats drive?

The Fur Coat

Bought the wife a hamster fur coat for her birthday, she was delighted with it. We went to the fair; took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!

Funny Farm Animals Joke

What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

How does a Japanese dog say hello?

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

Why Did The Cow Cross The Road Joke

Why did the cow cross the road?

Three Trees And A Woodpecker

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech tree says to the birch tree, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is Neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever had my pecker into!"

Rich Rabbit Joke

What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?

Pregnant Bed Bug

Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?

French Dog

Why did the French dog look in the toilet?

Dinosaur Pun

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

Laughing Dog Joke

What type a dog laughs at every joke?

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Cross A Pig And An Canary Joke

What do you get when you cross a pig and a canary?

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Why would a pig dressed in all black never get bullied?

Pig With Ink On His Face Joke

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Dracula's Favorite Breed Of Dog Joke

What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?

A Weasel Walked Into A Bar

Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Since Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

Dog Zoo Joke

Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?

Pig Write A Letter Joke

How does a pig write a letter?

Pig Hired At A Restaurant Joke

Why did the pig get hired at the restaurant?

Worm In An Apple Joke

What's worse than a worm in an apple?

Quiet Dog Joke

What do you give your dog when you want it to be quiet?

Paleontologists Joke

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Egg On The Barn Joke

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

Sheep Vacation Destination Joke

Where do sheep go on vacation?

Did You Know Alligator Vs Crocodile Joke

Did you know? You can distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or after a while.

Zoo With No Dogs Joke

What do you call a zoo with no dogs?

Jumping Cow

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?

Three Eyed Pig Joke

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Tweety: knock knock. Sylvester: Who's there? Tweety: Gladys. Sylvester: Gladys who? Tweety: Gladys you and not that awful puddy tat!

Don't Rob A Bank With A Pig

Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?

What's A Snake Favorite Subject Kids Joke

What's a snake favorite school subject?

Cow Bells

Why do cows wear bells?

Fun-damentalist

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks. "Well," they said, "Let's try this out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as you like, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

Pig In The Road Joke.

Why did the pig stand in the middle of the road?

Shakespeare Pig Joke

What’s a pig’s favourite Shakespeare play?

Rodent Repellent Joke

Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?

A Duck Walks Into A Bar

So, a duck walks into a bar. It asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies, "No? I mean this is a bar. We don't really sell that kind of stuff..." So the duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back in. "Got any grapes?" the duck asks. "No," The bartender says of annoyed. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back and asks, "Got any grapes?" Finally, the bartender has had enough. "NO! We don't have any grapes. If you come in one more time asking if you've got any grapes, I'll nail your bill to the wall!" The duck leaves. The next day it comes back and says, "Got any nails?" The bartender replies, "No?" Then the duck says, "Got any grapes?"

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?

What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke

What do you call dogs that rarely bark?

Why Do Rats Suck At Taking Pictures?

Why do rats suck at taking pictures?

Shhhh No One Should Know

What is a snake's favorite subject?

Religious Bear Joke

A man went camping in the woods by himself. He awoke early in the morning to hear a strange growling sound. He looked out to see a bear. He immediately began to run as fast as he could. The bear was gaining on him and he finally gave up hope, fell on his knees and said "Oh God, please let this be a Christian bear! "He turned to see the bear on his knees saying "Lord bless this food I am about to recieve..."

Walruses And Tupperware Joke

What do walruses and Tupperware have in common? They both like tight seals.

Geico Pun

if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.

Unusual Rabbit Joke

How do you catch an unusual rabbit?

Egg And Easter Bunny Joke

What did the egg say when the Easter Bunny told a joke?

Easter Bunny Music Joke

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?

Pig Loses His Voice

If a pig loses his voice, does that mean he's disgruntled?

Sheep Wool Joke

Which side of the sheep has the most wool?⁣

More Lives Than A Cat Joke

What animal has more lives than a cat?

Girl With Frog On Her Head Joke

What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

What Do You Call A Cat Caught By The Police Joke

What do you call a cat caught by the police?

Giraffe’s Favorite Fruit Joke

What is a giraffe's favorite fruit?

Emergency Room Pun

A guy ends up in the emergency room from eating bad horse meat. The doctor told his family he's in stable condition.

Humming Bird Joke

Why are they called humming birds?

Easter Bunny Tail Joke

Where does the Easter Bunny go for new tails?

Pig Sunbathing Joke

Why did the pig stop sunbathing?

Trendy Pig Joke

What do you call a trendy pig?

Smart Duck Joke

What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?

Tiger Christians Joke

Why are tigers Christians?

How Late Do Cows Stay Up Joke

How late do cows stay up?

Vampire Breath Joke

Why do vampires need mouthwash?

The Chameleon That Couldn't Change Color Joke

Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?

Why Did The Dear Need Braces Joke

Why Did The Dear Need Braces?

Why Does A Lion Kneel Before It Springs?

Why does a lion kneel before it springs?

Why Did The Kitten Smell So Good?

Why did the kitten smell so good?

What Did One Llama Say To The Other Llama?

What did one llama say to the other llama?

Where Does A Turtle Go When It’s Raining?

Where does a turtle go when it's raining?

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