303 Animal Jokes - Fart.com

Jan 21, 2020 Last updated: Nov 19, 2024

Get your laugh on with this list of funny animal jokes. Our animal jokes are family and kid-friendly. Have an animal joke you would like to share? It's easy, sign up and submit your favorite animal jokes.

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Why Did The Chicken Cross Joke

Why did the chicken cross the road?

What Soft Drink Do Pigs Like Best?

What soft drink do pigs like best?

Animal Jokes — What soft drink do pigs like best? Joke Meme.

Bass Fart

Why does the bass fart a half-tone flatter than every other fish? He's got a **b** in front of his ass

What Did One Cat Say To The Other Cat On The Phone

What did one cat say to the other cat on the phone?

Polish Wolf

Did you hear the one about the Polish wolf?

Animal Jokes — Polish Wolf Joke Meme

Prairie Dog Shadow

What is it called when a prairie dog sees its shadow?

Why Did The Elephant Call The Locksmith

Why did the elephant call the locksmith?

Cliffdiver

What makes a fish fall off a cliff?

Animal Jokes — Cliffdiver Joke Meme

Dancing Dog Joke

Why aren't dogs good dancers?

Gross Chicken

Why did the chicken go to the KFC?

Sheep Covered In Chocolate Joke

What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?

What Did The Dog Say To The Tree Joke

What did the dog say to the tree?

Dog Joke

Where did the Dog get his fleas?

Why Does An Elephant Have A Trunk

Why does an elephant have a trunk?

Pig Halloween Costume Joke

What did the pig dress up as for Halloween?

What Do Get When You Cross A Shark With A Skunk?

What do you get when you cross a shark with a skunk?

What Animal Talks The Most

What animal talks the most?

Small Lizard Joke

Why did the husband bring his wife a small lizard?

A Guy Walks Into A Pet Shop...

A man walks into a pet store and asks for a German Shepperd. The shopkeeper, replies that it will cost him $500. The man thinks for a minute, then asks how much a beware of dog sign costs. The shopkeeper calmly replies that it costs a whopping $1.98. The man thinks for a while moment, I'll just take the beware of dog sign.

Elephant On A Highway

What was the elephant doing on the highway?

Once A Shark, Always A Shark Joke

Two prawns were swimming around in the ocean. One called Justin and the other called Kristian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area: Finally one day Justin said to Kristian. "I'm fed up with being a prawn. I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said. "Your wish is granted" Low and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn... He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam to Kristian's home. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted. "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again," Kristian replied. "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed... I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Kristian."

Tom The Turkey Joke

Tom the turkey played baseball... Unfortunately, he hit a fowl ball!

Chicken Salad Joke

What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?

This One Makes You Think...

What did one lab rat say to the other?

Black And White Joke

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

Pig With Invisible Legs Joke

What do you call a pig with invisible legs?

Chasing A Cat

What do you call an elephant chasing a cat?

Pig In A Musical Joke

What happens when you put a pig in a musical?

Why Did The Turtle.....

Why did the turtle cross the road?

The Fur Coat

Bought the wife a hamster fur coat for her birthday, she was delighted with it. We went to the fair; took me 4 hours to get her off the big wheel!

Japanese Dog Hello Joke

How does a Japanese dog say hello?

Frog Shoes Joke

What kind of shoes does a frog wear?

Pig Mixes Colors Joke

What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?

Pregnant Bed Bug

Did you hear about the pregnant bed bug?

In Which River Are You Sure To Find Snakes?

In which river are you sure to find snakes?

Black Cat Bad Luck Joke

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

What Kind Of Cars Do Cats Drive Joke

What kind of cars do cats drive?

What Do You Call A Moose With No Name

What do you call a moose with no name?

Three Trees And A Woodpecker

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech tree says to the birch tree, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell, but just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch tree says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree and replies, "It is Neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever had my pecker into!"

Funny Farm Animals Joke

What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?

Cow Friday Nights Joke

Where do cows go on Friday nights?

Rich Rabbit Joke

What do you call a bunny rabbit with a lot of money?

A Horse Walks Into A Bar Joke

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Hey." The horse replies, "Sure!"

Why Did The Cow Cross The Road Joke

Why did the cow cross the road?

French Dog

Why did the French dog look in the toilet?

Pegasus Farts

What do you call Pegasus farts?

BMWs & Porcupines

What is the difference between a BMW & a porcupine?

Paleontologists Joke

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Tweety: knock knock. Sylvester: Who's there? Tweety: Gladys. Sylvester: Gladys who? Tweety: Gladys you and not that awful puddy tat!

Group Of Lions Marching Joke

What do you call a group of lions marching in the savannah?

Shhhh No One Should Know

What is a snake's favorite subject?

Have You Heard Of The Dyslexic Cow Who Attained Enlightenment

Have you heard of the dyslexic cow who attained enlightenment?

Dinosaur Pun

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

Cross A Pig And An Canary Joke

What do you get when you cross a pig and a canary?

Pig Dressed In Black Joke

Why would a pig dressed in all black never get bullied?

Laughing Dog Joke

What type a dog laughs at every joke?

Porcupine And Sheep

Did you hear about the scientists who crossed a porcupine with a sheep? They got an animal that knits its own sweaters.

What Do You Get When You Cross A Snake And A Kangaroo

What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo?

Fun-damentalist

This fundamentalist Christian couple felt it important to own an equally fundamentally Christian pet. So, they went shopping. At a kennel specializing in this particular breed, they found a dog they liked quite a lot. When they asked the dog to fetch the Bible, he did it in a flash. When they instructed him to look up Psalm 23, he complied equally fast, using his paws with dexterity. They were impressed, purchased the animal, and went home (piously, of course). That night they had friends over. They were so proud of their new fundamentalist dog and his major skills, they called the dog and showed off a little. The friends were impressed and asked whether the dog was able to do any of the usual dog tricks, as well. This stopped the couple cold, as they hadn't thought about "normal" tricks. "Well," they said, "Let's try this out." Once more they called the dog, and they clearly pronounced the command, "Heel!" Quick as you like, the dog jumped up, put his paw on the man's forehead, closed his eyes in concentration, and bowed his head.

A Weasel Walked Into A Bar

Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!

Dog Zoo Joke

Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?

Pig Write A Letter Joke

How does a pig write a letter?

Pig With Ink On His Face Joke

Why did the pig have ink all over his face?

Pig Hired At A Restaurant Joke

Why did the pig get hired at the restaurant?

Quiet Dog Joke

What do you give your dog when you want it to be quiet?

Sheep Vacation Destination Joke

Where do sheep go on vacation?

Did You Know Alligator Vs Crocodile Joke

Did you know? You can distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or after a while.

Zoo With No Dogs Joke

What do you call a zoo with no dogs?

What's A Snake Favorite Subject Kids Joke

What's a snake favorite school subject?

Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Religious Bear Joke

A man went camping in the woods by himself. He awoke early in the morning to hear a strange growling sound. He looked out to see a bear. He immediately began to run as fast as he could. The bear was gaining on him and he finally gave up hope, fell on his knees and said "Oh God, please let this be a Christian bear! "He turned to see the bear on his knees saying "Lord bless this food I am about to recieve..."

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Since Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

Three Eyed Pig Joke

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Shakespeare Pig Joke

What’s a pig’s favourite Shakespeare play?

Worm In An Apple Joke

What's worse than a worm in an apple?

Egg On The Barn Joke

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

Rodent Repellent Joke

Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?

Dracula's Favorite Breed Of Dog Joke

What dog breed would Dracula love to have as a pet?

What Do You Call Dogs That Rarely Bark Joke

What do you call dogs that rarely bark?

Why Do Rats Suck At Taking Pictures?

Why do rats suck at taking pictures?

What Do You Get When You Cross A Kangaroo And A Sheep

What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?

Jumping Cow

What do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?

Cow Bells

Why do cows wear bells?

Walruses And Tupperware Joke

What do walruses and Tupperware have in common? They both like tight seals.

Geico Pun

if Geico ever fired the gecko that would be a reptile disfunction.

Pig In The Road Joke.

Why did the pig stand in the middle of the road?

Don't Rob A Bank With A Pig

Why should you never rob a bank with a pig?

A Duck Walks Into A Bar

So, a duck walks into a bar. It asks the bartender, "Got any grapes?" The bartender replies, "No? I mean this is a bar. We don't really sell that kind of stuff..." So the duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back in. "Got any grapes?" the duck asks. "No," The bartender says of annoyed. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck comes back and asks, "Got any grapes?" Finally, the bartender has had enough. "NO! We don't have any grapes. If you come in one more time asking if you've got any grapes, I'll nail your bill to the wall!" The duck leaves. The next day it comes back and says, "Got any nails?" The bartender replies, "No?" Then the duck says, "Got any grapes?"

What Did The Mom Dinosaur Say To The Baby Dinosaur?

What did the mom dinosaur say to the baby dinosaur?

Emergency Room Pun

A guy ends up in the emergency room from eating bad horse meat. The doctor told his family he's in stable condition.

Easter Bunny Music Joke

What kind of music does the Easter Bunny like?

Pig Loses His Voice

If a pig loses his voice, does that mean he's disgruntled?

Sheep Wool Joke

Which side of the sheep has the most wool?⁣

More Lives Than A Cat Joke

What animal has more lives than a cat?

What Do You Get If You Cross An Angry Sheep And A Moody Cow?

What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?

Giraffe’s Favorite Fruit Joke

What is a giraffe's favorite fruit?

Where Does A Turtle Go When It’s Raining?

Where does a turtle go when it's raining?

Fresh Thanksgiving Turkey

Shot my first turkey today. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!

Wild Falcons

Wild falcons live to be about 13, so all the falcons in the world today were born in the 21st century... They're millennial falcons!

Unusual Rabbit Joke

How do you catch an unusual rabbit?

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