31 SCHOOL JOKES

Question 1

How Is 12 Divided In Half 7?...

How can you divide 12 in half and end up with 7?

Question 2

Halloween And Christmas

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Question 3

Butterfly Dance Joke

Why wouldn't they let the butterfly in to the dance?

Question 4

Opposite Meanings

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," she said. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "What about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy up' ".

Question 5

Whisper In Clas Joke

Why can't you whisper in class?

Question 6

Two Forbidden Words

A teacher is telling her class she has two words that will not be allowed to use. "There are two words which I will never let you use. One is gross and the other is cool". Student: "So what are the words?"

Question 7

Science Book Joke

Why were the two science books holding hands?

Question 8

PhD In Dad Jokes

What does it take to get a PhD in Dad Jokes?

Question 9

Building With The Most Stories Joke

What building in your town has the most stories?

Question 10

What's A Snake Favorite Subject Kids Joke

What's a snake favorite school subject?

Question 11

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

What's a witch's favorite subject in school?

Question 12

Smart Duck Joke

What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?

Question 13

Livestock Favorite Math Tool

What is a livestock's favorite math tool?

Question 14

How Many Feet In A Yard Joke

How many feet in a yard?

Question 15

Blueberry Hill Joke

One day a boy walked in the classroom. The teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The next boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The last boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. Then a girl walked in and the teacher said, "Let me guess, you're late beacause you were on top of Blueberry Hill". Then the girl said, "I am Blueberry Hill".

Question 16

King Pencil Joke

Who's the king of the pencil case?

Question 17

Dog With Rubber Leg Joke

Once there was a dog who had lost his back leg in an accident. This leg was replaced with a rubber one. Unfortunately, one day he started scratching all his body with the rubber leg, and he disappeared...

Question 18

Did You Hear About The Kidnapping At The School Joke

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the School?

Question 19

The Band

A student was in the percussion section of the band, and was not doing well. The band had a performance that night, and the conductor had an annoucement to make. The conductor said, "When a student is having trouble playing an instrument, we can give him two sticks and make him a percussionist, and let him play the drums, which---" The conductor was interrupted by a student in the back of the room who said, "And when that's too hard for him, we can take one of his sticks away, and make him a conductor!"

Question 20

Bad Grade Joke

A student said to his Professor, "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Mr. Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."

Question 21

Ell's Learning

What do elfs learn while in school?

Question 22

Cheerleader's Favorite Drink

What is a cheerleader's favorite drink?

Question 23

Synonym Joke

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.

Question 24

Pencil Joke

Why did the pencil go to the party?

Question 25

Pay Attention Joke

Teacher asked, "Can you pay a little attention to this lesson?"

Question 26

Excuse For Missing Final Exam.

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester. These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final. The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page. On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

Question 27

Possessive Pronouns

I hate it when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". There stupid.

Question 28

Sad Math Book

Why was Roger's math book sad?

Question 29

Is God Real

A teacher was teaching a class about the big bang theory. She asked Mikey to go outside and observe his surroundings. She then asked... "Mikey did you see the sky?" "Yes", said Mikey. "Did you see the sun?" "Yes", said the boy. "Did you see God?" "No", said the boy. The Teacher said, "So God really isn't there." A little girl started to ask Mikey some questions. "Did you see the sky?" "Yes" was the reply "Did you see the sun?" Again, "yes" was the answer. "Do you see the teacher's brain? Because according to her, she doesn't have one!"

Question 30

Funny Fart Joke

A boy comes home proudly announces to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked the class a question today and I was the only one who knew the right answer!" The parents are very happy and ask, "That's amazing Lenny! And what was the question?" Sticking out his chest, the boys says, "Who farted?"

Question 31

Degree In Flatulence

What degree did the butt get?

31 SCHOOL JOKES

School Jokes

How Is 12 Divided In Half 7?...

Halloween And Christmas

Butterfly Dance Joke

Opposite Meanings

Whisper In Clas Joke

Two Forbidden Words

Science Book Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Building With The Most Stories Joke

What's A Snake Favorite Subject Kids Joke

Witches Favorite School Subject Joke

Smart Duck Joke

Livestock Favorite Math Tool

How Many Feet In A Yard Joke

Blueberry Hill Joke

King Pencil Joke

Dog With Rubber Leg Joke

Did You Hear About The Kidnapping At The School Joke

The Band

Bad Grade Joke

Ell's Learning

Cheerleader's Favorite Drink

Synonym Joke

Pencil Joke

Pay Attention Joke

Excuse For Missing Final Exam.

Possessive Pronouns

Sad Math Book

Is God Real

Funny Fart Joke

Degree In Flatulence

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