At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," she said. "And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be'giddy up' ".
Teacher asked, "Can you pay a little attention to this lesson?"
Student Answered, "I am trying my best to pay as little attention as I can!"
A student said to his Professor Stigle, "Professor Stigler, I don't believe I deserve this F you've given me." To which Mr. Stigler replied, "I agree, but unfortunately it is the lowest grade the University will allow me to award."
What degree did the butt get?
A Master of Fine Farts.
A student was in the percussion section of the band, and was not doing well. The band had a performance that night, and the conductor had an annoucement to make. The conductor said, "When a student is having trouble playing an instrument, we can give him two sticks and make him a percussionist, and let him play the drums, which---" The conductor was interrupted by a student in the back of the room who said, "And when that's too hard for him, we can take one of his sticks away, and make him a conductor!"
One day a boy walked in the classroom. The teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The next boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late; he said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. The last boy walked in and the teacher asked him why he was late. He said he was on top of Blueberry Hill. Then a girl walked in and the teacher said, "Let me guess, you're late beacause you were on top of Blueberry Hill". Then the girl said, "I am Blueberry Hill".
A boy comes home proudly announces to his parents "Mom, dad, the teacher asked the class a question today and I was the only one who knew the right answer!" The parents are very happy and ask, "That's amazing Lenny! And what was the question?" Sticking out his chest, the boys says, "Who farted?"
What is a cheerleader's favorite drink?
Why was Roger's math book sad?
It had too many problems!
What do elfs learn while in school?