The Joker

Joke: A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards... The steaks were pretty high.

Joke: Where do ghosts like to travel on vacation?

Joke: I was reading a book about lubricants... It was non-friction.

Joke: What did the sink say to the toilet?

Joke: What’s another term for a will?

Joke: What position does a ghost play on his hockey team?

Joke: Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?

Joke: Did you know... Sharks will only attack you when you're wet?

Joke: Why Did The Dear Need Braces?

Joke: What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?

Joke: Why did the snow plows ask for a raise?

Joke: I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet... I get hungry.

Joke: What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?

Joke: How do you catch an unusual rabbit?

Joke: A hot-air balloon descends in the middle of nowhere. The traveler in the gondola spots a man on the ground and shouts, "Hey, mister! Can you tell me where I am?" The man looks up and shouts, "You're in a gondola of a hot air balloon!" The traveler shouts back, "You must be a mathematician!" "Yes! How did you know?" "Well, only a mathematician can give such a precise yet useless answer." "Hmmmm. You must be a CEO..." "Yes! How did you know?" "Well, you got yourself into this bad situation, yet you made it look as if it is my fault."

Joke: Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Joke: What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Joke: A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son… "Junior, go get your Mother."

Joke: Where did George Washington get his hatchet?

Joke: What do you call a cat caught by the police?

Joke: When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

Joke: The Devil called down to Georgia, he was looking for some votes to steal. He was in a bind because he was behind and he was willing to make a deal.

Joke: Hey, did you hear about the experiment where they blessed the rains down in Africa?

Joke: Have you ever noticed that a woman's "I'll be ready in 5 minutes" and a man's "I'll be home if 5 minutes" are exactly the same?

Joke: I want to lose weight but I don't want to get caught up in one of those "eat right and exercise" scams.

Joke: Where does the Easter Bunny go for new tails?

Joke: Two windmills are in a field. One asks, "What kind of music do you like?" The other one says, "Well, I'm a big metal fan."

Joke: Who can drink 5 gallons of gas without getting sick?

Joke: Sometimes you meet someone and you know from the first moment that you want to spend the rest of your life without them!

Joke: Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot and killed by the woman’s husband.