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An elderly couple are at the cinema. About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'

He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'

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MORE DAILY JOKES

What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?

A pigment!

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Where do cows go on Friday nights?

To the moo-vies!

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What did the big flower say to the little flower?

Hi bud!

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What did the sink say to the toilet?

You look flushed!

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What kind of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas!

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What happens when you put a pig in a musical?

It squeals the show!

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What do you call a pig with invisible legs?

A groundhog!

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What type of music are balloons afraid of?

Pop music!

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What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?

A chip-monk!

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What's worse than a worm in an apple?

Half a worm!

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When does a cookie go to see a doctor?

When it is feeling crummy!

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Why did the pig hide the soap?

He heard the farmer yell hogwash!

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What did the Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

Where’s Popcorn!

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Why are dogs like cell phones?

Because they have collar ID!

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What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemon-Aide.

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What building in your town has the most stories?

The Public Library!

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Who's the king of the pencil case?

The Ruler!

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Why are pigs bad drivers?

They are all road hogs!

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What do you call a pig thief?

A hamburglar!

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How do pigs send a secret message?

With invisible oink!

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