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Have you ever been guilty of looking at someone your own age and thinking, "Surely, I can't look that old?". I was sitting in the waiting room, for my first appointment, with my new dentist. I noticed his diploma, on the wall, which showed his full name. Suddenly, I remembered a tall handsome boy who had been in my high school class some 40 years ago. I thought, "Could this be the same guy a had a secret crush on way back then?" Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. The balding, gray-haired man with a deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he attended my high school. "Yes. Yes, I did." he beamed with pride. "When did you graduate?" I asked. He answered, "1959, why do you ask?" "You were in my class!" I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly old, bald, wrinkled, fat, gray, decrepit old son-of-a-gun asked, "What class did you teach?"

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MORE DAILY JOKES

What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?

Tear gas.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pot of boiling water?

Stu.

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How many dancers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five! ... Six! ... Seven! ... Eight!

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Why aren't dogs good dancers?

Because they have two left feet!

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Why did the Mafia cross the road?

Forget about it.

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Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?

It was a shih tzu.

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What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Jurassic Pork.

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What do you call a crocodile with GPS?

A Navi-gator.

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What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?

A rash of good luck.

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Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

Because he was stuffed!

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If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges... My door is always open.

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Tonight we're having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner. We found him-a-layan in the road.

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Wild falcons live to be about 13, so all the falcons in the world today were born in the 21st century... They're millennial falcons!

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I had to break up with my tennis player girlfriend... Love meant nothing to her!

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Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? It turns out he couldn't see that well.

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Why do melons have weddings?

Because they cantaloupe!

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I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!

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There is a thin line between a numerator and a denominator... And only a fraction of people can understand that.

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Why can't ticks keep a secret?

Everyone knows a Tic Toks.

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Why do crabs never give to charity?

Because they're shellfish creatures.

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