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You know how you can tell when there is a pilot in a room?
He'll tell you!
Why was Roger's math book sad?
It had too many problems!
During a trip from California to New York, it didn't help that my connecting flight from Houston was delayed twice because of mechanical problems. Then, after we were airborn, I noticed the lights began flickering. I mentioned this to a flight attendant. "I'll take care of it," she said. Moments later the lights went out. Clearly she had solved the problem by turning off all the lights. A passenger across the aisle who had been watching me leaned over and said, "Whatever you do, please don't ask about the engines."
What sleep's with its shoes on?
Cornona Virus, it's an inside joke.
What can you catch but not throw?
My mind is exceptionally quiet... I'm suspicious that I'm up to something I don't want myself to know about.
I heard the more colorful your salad is, the better it is for you. So, I swapped my croutons for M&M's
Cop: "You were going really fast". Me: "I was just trying to keep up with traffic". Cop: "There isn't any traffic". Me: "I know! That's how far behind I am".
I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice".
Did you hear about the scientist who crossed a carrier pigeon with a woodpecker?
He got a bird that not only delivers messages to their destination but knocks on the door when it gets there.
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