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An elderly couple are at the cinema. About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
What do you get when a pig mixes two colours?
Where do cows go on Friday nights?
To the moo-vies!
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
What did the sink say to the toilet?
You look flushed!
What kind of cars do elves drive?
What happens when you put a pig in a musical?
It squeals the show!
What do you call a pig with invisible legs?
What type of music are balloons afraid of?
What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?
What's worse than a worm in an apple?
Half a worm!
When does a cookie go to see a doctor?
When it is feeling crummy!
Why did the pig hide the soap?
He heard the farmer yell hogwash!
What did the Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?
Why are dogs like cell phones?
Because they have collar ID!
What do you give a sick lemon?
What building in your town has the most stories?
The Public Library!
Who's the king of the pencil case?
Why are pigs bad drivers?
They are all road hogs!
What do you call a pig thief?
How do pigs send a secret message?
With invisible oink!
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