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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in separate cars at a 4-way stop.
I told my therapist that I couldn't get the Grease Soundtrack out of my head.
He said, "Tell me more."
Which tree is the most pensive?
The ponder-osa pine.
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
The abdominal snowman.
Where do Elves go to vote?
The North Pole.
What do road crews use at the North Pole?
What do you call a chicken staring at lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What is the hardest tea to swallow!
Who is the coolest Doctor in the hospital?
The hip Doctor!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
I have a lot of unemployment jokes but none of them work.
Why was the piano locked out of the house?
He did not have the right key!
What do you call farm animals with a sense of humor?
My kids were very upset when our bunnies escaped. They're too young to deal with hare loss.
I prefer communist jokes because everyone gets them.
I heard on the news that Search and Rescue had plucked 2 stranded fishermen out of the ocean and were looking for their capsized boat. I thought, Gee, how are they ever going to find something that small.
Why can't Donald Trump go to the White House anymore?
What do you get when you pick a pig's nose?
Dogs can't read an MRI but CATScan!
Did you know that people who have to wear glasses with their mask... may be entitled to condensation.
What is a gust of wind's favorite color?
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