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Some race horses are staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well, in the last 27 races, I've won 19!" "Oh, that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!" says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound has been sitting there, listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog."
I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. I'm expecting a very large vowel movement.
A tourist asks a local, "Is it true that Tel Aviv is very expensive?" The local replies, "Expensive? No. It’s just that in Tel Aviv, they don't charge you for the coffee. They charge you for the 5 minutes you spent looking at the sea while drinking it."
Why are spiders such good developers?
They enjoy looking for bugs!
Why did the deer go to the dentist?
It had buck teeth!
What did the corgi say after someone asked him for money?
I'm a little short!
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called The Bad Batch File!
What is a Christian's favorite social networking site?
Faithbook!
I just went to a Halloween party for rappers and rap DJs from the Czech Republic, and everyone was dressed in the same costume!
I couldn't tell which witch was Wich!
What did the computer say when it was tired of the user?
Kiss my ASCII!
What equipment do you use to increase the volume of bagpipes?
A zamplifier!
What is Shaye Saint John's favorite Christmas song?
Ah Hurd the Bells on Christmas Day!
What do you call a singing contest that is filmed in a rural area?
American Idyll!
What is a pop star's favorite cryptocurrency?
Taylor SwiftDemand!
What do you call a singing competition for people who play Progress Quest, Cookie Clicker, and Godville?
American Idle.
Did you hear about the new HBO fantasy series about bagpipers?
It's called Game of Drones!
What did Super Mecha Death Christ say when he found his favorite strawberry jam!
SMUCKERRRRRRRRRRS! SMUCKERRRRRRRRRRS!
What did the Disney fan say to let people know that he was against AI-generated music?
We don't talk about Suno!
People make such a big deal when a forum, blog, social networking site, or podcast website shuts down. But there's one kind of website that people just don't seem to care about these days.
I guess you can say, no one mourns the wiki!
What do Disney characters eat for breakfast?
Peter Pancakes!
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