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23 TECHNOLOGY JOKES
Technology Jokes
Jan 21, 2020
Last updated:
Dec 15, 2020
Technology Jokes
Sort Rating
My Computer Joke
Joke:
My computer doesn't understand me!
VOTE
The Internets Crytponite
Joke:
WIKIPEDIA: I know everything. GOOGLE: I have everything. FACEBOOK: I know everybody. INTERNET: You're all nothing without me. ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches!
VOTE
The internets crytponite Joke Meme.
Old Technology
Joke:
Similiarity between a woman and a computer!
Punch Line
VOTE
Ipad Thief Joke
Joke:
The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!
VOTE
Microsoft Humor
Joke:
It was decided by Microsoft during a brilliant brainstorming session that military service would improve the skills and discipline of their finest technician. So off to boot camp he went. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. "Hmmm" he thought, "I'll get to the bottom of this in no time." He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He pointed his still loaded rifle at the ground in front of him and fired. A cloud of dust kicked up, and a little dimple was left there in the dust. "Yep, it's working," he concluded. The technician yelled out to the others at the target end, "The rifle is in working order and the bullet seems to be leaving this end just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"
VOTE
Microsoft Humor Joke Meme
High Tech Delivery
Joke:
My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room. It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless!
VOTE
Leonardo Da Vinci Advice
Joke:
"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Leonardo da Vinci
VOTE
Electric Car License
Joke:
Does anybody know if you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?
VOTE
Electric Car License Joke Meme
An Engineers Bike
Joke:
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
VOTE
Amish Elevator
Joke:
A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son… "Junior, go get your Mother."
VOTE
Cell Phones Joke
Joke:
I finally realized it. People are prisoners of their phones... that's why they are called Cell Phones!
VOTE
Grandpa's Revenge!
Joke:
A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy. Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.
VOTE
A Pen In Space
Joke:
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.
VOTE
My Living Will
Joke:
Last night my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetive state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer and threw away my wine! The little ingrates.
VOTE
1080p Pun
Joke:
I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!
VOTE
Cell Phone Joke
Joke:
I just removed all the German contacts from my cell phone. It's now Hans free!
VOTE
Pizza Button On The Microwave.
Joke:
I put a potato in the microwave and pushed the pizza button. The little bell rang but it was still a potato.
VOTE
Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke
Joke:
Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."
VOTE
Robot Guacamole Joke
Joke:
What do robots have with their guacamole?
Punch Line
VOTE
Optimist, Pessimist And Engineer.
Joke:
A pessimist sees a 1/2 full glass, as half empty. An optimist sees it as half full. And an engineer sees it as twice as big as necessary.
VOTE
Build A Pyramid
Joke:
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?" Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, yeah, up to a point."
Punch Line
VOTE
Frozen Windows Joke
Joke:
A woman in Wisconsin texted her husband early one morning, "Windows Frozen". Husband texted back, "Gently pour lukewarm water on windows". Later wife texted back, "Computer REALLY messed up now".
VOTE
A Pilot Flying A Small Plane Joke
Joke:
A pilot's flying a small, single-engined charter plane with a couple of really important execs on board. He's coming into Seattle airport, only there is thick fog, less than 10ft of visibility, and his instruments are out. So he circles around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he's pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. At last, in a small opening in the fog, he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around and winds down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hi! Where am I?", to which the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane". The pilot winds up the window, executes a 275-degree turn, and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple," replies the pilot. "The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, that must be Microsoft's Support Office and from there the airport is just 5 miles away on a course of 87 degrees! Any questions?"
VOTE
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