23 TECHNOLOGY JOKES

Question 1

My Computer Joke

Question 2

The Internets Crytponite

WIKIPEDIA: I know everything. GOOGLE: I have everything. FACEBOOK: I know everybody. INTERNET: You're all nothing without me. ELECTRICITY: Keep talking, bitches!

Question 3

Old Technology

Similiarity between a woman and a computer!

Question 4

Ipad Thief Joke

The guy who stole my iPad... He should FaceTime!

Question 5

Microsoft Humor

It was decided by Microsoft during a brilliant brainstorming session that military service would improve the skills and discipline of their finest technician. So off to boot camp he went. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. "Hmmm" he thought, "I'll get to the bottom of this in no time." He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He pointed his still loaded rifle at the ground in front of him and fired. A cloud of dust kicked up, and a little dimple was left there in the dust. "Yep, it's working," he concluded. The technician yelled out to the others at the target end, "The rifle is in working order and the bullet seems to be leaving this end just fine. The trouble must be at your end!"

Question 6

Leonardo Da Vinci Advice

"Don't believe everything you read on the internet" Leonardo da Vinci

Question 7

Optimist, Pessimist And Engineer.

A pessimist sees a 1/2 full glass, as half empty. An optimist sees it as half full. And an engineer sees it as twice as big as necessary.

Question 8

High Tech Delivery

My sister gave birth in a state-of-the-art delivery room. It was so high tech that the baby came out cordless!

Question 9

Electric Car License

Does anybody know if you need a current driver's license to drive an electric car?

VOTE

Question 10

Grandpa's Revenge!

A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy. Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.

Question 11

An Engineers Bike

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."

Question 12

Amish Elevator

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father visited the city for the very first time. They wandered around, marveling at the different sights. Eventually, they got to a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but they were especially amazed at two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don’t know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened, and the lady passed between them into a small room. The walls closed, and the boy and his father watched the small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number, and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally, the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blond woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son… "Junior, go get your Mother."

Question 13

My Living Will

Last night my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetive state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer and threw away my wine! The little ingrates.

Question 14

Cell Phones Joke

I finally realized it. People are prisoners of their phones... that's why they are called Cell Phones!

Question 15

A Pen In Space

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

Question 16

Cell Phone Joke

I just removed all the German contacts from my cell phone. It's now Hans free!

Question 17

1080p Pun

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Question 18

Pizza Button On The Microwave.

I put a potato in the microwave and pushed the pizza button. The little bell rang but it was still a potato.

Question 19

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Pat is at the airport with a sack over each shoulder. When he is stopped at customs they fin that both sacks are full of mobile phones. When asked why Pat said, "Well, while I was on my travels in America, I got a phone call from my mate Mick and he told me he was starting a Jazz band and could I bring him two saxophones."

Question 20

Robot Guacamole Joke

What do robots have with their guacamole?

Question 21

Build A Pyramid

Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?" Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, yeah, up to a point."

Question 22

Frozen Windows Joke

A woman in Wisconsin texted her husband early one morning, "Windows Frozen". Husband texted back, "Gently pour lukewarm water on windows". Later wife texted back, "Computer REALLY messed up now".

Question 23

A Pilot Flying A Small Plane Joke

A pilot's flying a small, single-engined charter plane with a couple of really important execs on board. He's coming into Seattle airport, only there is thick fog, less than 10ft of visibility, and his instruments are out. So he circles around looking for a landmark. After an hour or so, he's pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous. At last, in a small opening in the fog, he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around and winds down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hi! Where am I?", to which the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane". The pilot winds up the window, executes a 275-degree turn, and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out. The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. "Simple," replies the pilot. "The answer he gave me was 100% correct but absolutely useless; therefore, that must be Microsoft's Support Office and from there the airport is just 5 miles away on a course of 87 degrees! Any questions?"

23 TECHNOLOGY JOKES

Technology Jokes

My Computer Joke

The Internets Crytponite

Old Technology

Ipad Thief Joke

Microsoft Humor

Leonardo Da Vinci Advice

Optimist, Pessimist And Engineer.

High Tech Delivery

Electric Car License

Grandpa's Revenge!

An Engineers Bike

Amish Elevator

My Living Will

Cell Phones Joke

A Pen In Space

Cell Phone Joke

1080p Pun

Pizza Button On The Microwave.

Sacks Are Full Of Phones Joke

Robot Guacamole Joke

Build A Pyramid

Frozen Windows Joke

A Pilot Flying A Small Plane Joke

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