The Joker

Question 1

Gas Station Air Joke

When I was young, air at gas stations was free. Now they charge $1.50... That's inflation for you!

Question 2

Woman And Men Joke

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men actually spend thinking.

Question 3

Pack Of Pigmy's Joke

What's the difference between a pack of pigmies and a women's track team?

Question 4

Sleeping Cows

If you notice cows sleeping in a field, does that mean it's pasture bedtime?

Question 5

What Do Lemons Say When They Answer The Telephone?

What do lemons say when they answer the telephone?

Question 6

Two Brooms Getting Married Joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while, they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding giddier, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, "I think I am going to have a little broom." "Impossible!" said the groom broom. "We haven't even swept together yet!"

Question 7

Halloween Jack-O-Lantern Joke

How do you fix a damaged Jack-O-Lantern?

Question 8

Skeleton Halloween Joke

What did the skeleton say to the dog?

Question 9

Snail Mugged By Turtles Joke

A snail gets mugged by a couple turtles and when the cops asked him for a description of the turtles he told them "I don't know, it all happened so fast"

Question 10

Super Hero With A Lisp

Did you hear about the Super Hero with a lisp that always works out?

Question 11

Monster Cooked Eggs Joke

How do monsters like there eggs cooked?

Question 12

Horoscope Joke

My wife left me because of my obsession with horoscopes...it Taurus apart.

Question 13

Skeleton Travel Joke

What do skeletons travel around in?

Question 14

Crazy Guy In Jungle Pun

How did the crazy guy get through the jungle? He took a psycho path.

Question 15

My Living Will

Last night my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetive state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer and threw away my wine! The little ingrates.

Question 16

How To Get Back On Your Feet

You want to how to get back on your feet?

Question 17

Fastest Liquid Joke

Why is milk the fastest liquid on earth?

Question 18

Drunken Wrapper

Do not drink and wrap presents. Also, if someone gets a remote control for Christmas, I'm going to need that back.

Question 19

What Life's About.

Life is all about ass: You're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or you live with one.

Question 20

May Flowers Joke

If April showers bring May flowers what do may flowers bring?

Question 21

Dancing Shoes

I drank so much wine last night, when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.

Question 22

Elders' Joke

Grandma and grandpa where watching healing service on TV. The Pastor told all who wanted to be healed to put on hand on the TV and the other hand on a body part that wanted healing. Grandma slowly put one hand on the TV and the other on her arthritic shoulder. Grandpa too got up, put one hand on the TV and the other on his private parts. Grandma looked at him and says... "Dear, I guess you just don't get it do you? The purpose is to heal the sick NOT to raise the dead"!

Question 23

Mermaid Jobs Joke

Where do mermaids look for jobs?

Question 24

Boat Captain IRS Audit

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn’t paying proper wages to his deckhands and sent an agent to investigate him. IRS Auditor asks "I need to talk with you about your employees and how much you pay them". Boat Capitan responds "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for about 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board". IRS auditor "That's fair, so who is the other guy on the boat that I see in your records. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the workaround here and only makes about $10 per week and it says you buy him a bottle of Bacardi and a twelve-pack once a week too. Also says he gets to sleep with your wife occasionally?" the IRS Auditor says "That's the guy we want to talk to". The Boat Capitan replies "That would be me, what do you to know?"

Question 25

Livestock Favorite Math Tool

What is a livestock's favorite math tool?

Question 26

Inside A Ghosts Nose Joke

What can you find in a ghost's nose?

Question 27

Looking Good

Wife, "My aerobics instructor says I've got the chest of a 23 year old!" Husband, "What did he say about your 60 year old ass?" Wife, "We never mentioned you!"

Question 28

Superhero Joke

What do you call a superhero with a bad sense of direction?

Question 29

Green Pepper Archer

Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

Question 30

You Will Walk Today Joke

I went to church today and the preacher came over to me and said, "You will walk today." I told him I wasn't paralyzed, but he said it again with more enthusiasm. After the service, I went outside and my car was gone!

The Joker

Gas Station Air Joke

Woman And Men Joke

Pack Of Pigmy's Joke

Sleeping Cows

What Do Lemons Say When They Answer The Telephone?

Two Brooms Getting Married Joke

Halloween Jack-O-Lantern Joke

Skeleton Halloween Joke

Snail Mugged By Turtles Joke

Super Hero With A Lisp

Monster Cooked Eggs Joke

Horoscope Joke

Skeleton Travel Joke

Crazy Guy In Jungle Pun

My Living Will

How To Get Back On Your Feet

Fastest Liquid Joke

Drunken Wrapper

What Life's About.

May Flowers Joke

Dancing Shoes

Elders' Joke

Mermaid Jobs Joke

Boat Captain IRS Audit

Livestock Favorite Math Tool

Inside A Ghosts Nose Joke

Looking Good

Superhero Joke

Green Pepper Archer

You Will Walk Today Joke

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