The Joker

Joke: Where do polar bears vote?

Joke: Why are they called humming birds?

Joke: Some people won't admit their faults. I would if I had any.

Joke: How do you get a squirrel to love you?

Joke: Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

Joke: What do you call a dog that won't fetch or listen?

Joke: Cremation is your last chance for a smoking hot body!

Joke: A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while… Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet." Mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" Billy says: "works for ketchup."

Joke: Why are dalmatians bad at hide and seek?

Joke: Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

Joke: 89-year-old Bob was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. Bob replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Bob replied, "That would be my wife.

Joke: If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.

Joke: What did the horse say when it fell?

Joke: Shot my first turkey today. Scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!

Joke: What did the monkey say to the banana?

Joke: Why was the strawberry crying?

Joke: What do you call a Mexican fighting a priest?

Joke: Can you tie a knot? "I cannot." "So can you tie a knot?" "No, I cannot knot." "Not knot?" "Who's there?"

Joke: What did the flag say to the flagpole?

Joke: Once there was a dog who had lost his back leg in an accident. This leg was replaced with a rubber one. Unfortunately, one day he started scratching all his body with the rubber leg, and he disappeared...

Joke: Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens?

Joke: An invisible man married an invisible woman. I'm not sure what they saw in each other. Their kids were nothing to look at either.

Joke: Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But, did he listen?

Joke: What does a robot do after sex?

Joke: Me: (Sobbing my heart out, eyes swollen, nose red)... I can't see you anymore... I am not going to let you hurt me like this again! Trainer: It was a sit up. You did one sit up.

Joke: What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure?

Joke: What was Beethoven favorite fruit?

Joke: My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them!

Joke: What did Qanon Shaman's mom say to him when he was on his way to jail? Bison.

Joke: How many feet in a yard?