The Joker

Joke Count: 1229

Glasses And Mask Joke

If you have to wear both mask and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation.

Smiling Or Laughing

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty. If you see me laughing, I've already done it.

Salad For Dinner

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. Fine, it was pizza, I ate pizza.

Blonde Sitting At A Bar Joke

Blonde sitting in a bar wondering why she only has 3 sisters, when her brother has 4.

50 Cent Hungry Joke

What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry?

Coke Vs. Deer Testicles Joke.

What’s the difference between a liter of Coke and deer testicles?

Opening Doors

When one door closes, another one opens. This is the last time I'm buying a used car.

Just Pretend

I pretended to fall asleep and I fell asleep. Now, I'm going to pretend to be skinny.

Baby Corn Joke

What did the Baby Corn say to Mama Corn?

Chip Monkey Joke

What do you call a monkey who loves potato chips?

Pilot Joke

Two, not very bright, pilots come in for a landing when the pilot has to slam on the brakes. Captain Bill looks over at Roger the co-pilot and says, "Damn that is the shortest runway we have ever landed on!" Roger takes a long look left, then a long look right and replies, "Yeah but look how wide it is!"

Cheers To Bread

To the person who invented bread. I'd like to propose a toast.

My Poem

I'd share my poem about the wind....but it's only a draft.

Army Bush Pun

If you don't know what this is don't ever join the Army. You don't even know an ambush when you see one.

Tampon Joke

What did one tampon say the the other?

Nacho's Favorite Dance Joke

What's a nacho's favorite dance?

String To The Game Joke

Why did the football player bring string to the game?

Do You Feel Any Pain?

My wife yelled down from upstairs and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" I replied, "No." She responded, "How about now?"

Snowmen Breakfast Joke

What do snowmen have for breakfast?

Rudolph Christmas Reminder Joke

How does Rudolph know when Christmas is coming?

Tiger Stripes Joke

Why do tigers have stripes?

Losing Weight Joke

Loosing weight doesn't seem like it's working, so I'm going to concentrate on getting taller.

Pie Rate Joke.

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts cost $2.25... These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Heavier Than Butane Jokes

Why is water heavier than butane?

My Friend David

My friend David lost his id, we now call him Dav.

Orchestra Got Electrocuted Joke

Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?

Coffee Can Make You Aggressive

Warning! Coffee can make you aggressive. Yesterday I had 15 beers at the bar, and my wife had 3 cups of coffee at home. When I got home she was extremely pissed off.

Do The Crime Pay The Time

An 80-year-old lady was arrested for shoplifting. Judge: "What did you steal?" She replies, "A can of peaches." The judge then asked her how many peaches were in a can? She replied, "Six." Judge: "Ok, I'll give you six days in jail." Before the judge could pronounce the punishment, the husband spoke up and said, "What about ht can of peas!"

Police Questioning Joke

I got a call from the police station saying they want to interview me. Funny, I don't remember applying for a job there.

My Wife's Birthday

My Wife's birthday is coming up in a few months. She's leaving jewelry catalogs around the house. Think I'll buy her a magazine rack.

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