The Joker

Question 1

A Duck, Skunk And A Deer Go To Dinner

A duck a skunk and a deer when out to dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the ducks bill.

Question 2

A Really Dumb Dad Joke

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff... Baa-dumm-tss.

Question 3

A Tree In The Hand Joke

What kind of tree fits in your hand?

Question 4

Afternoon Sex

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon "quickie" with their 8 year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a popsicle and tell him to report on the neighborhood activities. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot." He Shouted. He began his commentary as his parent put their a plan into operation: "An ambulance just drove by!" "Looks like the Smiths have company." He called out. "Noah's riding his new bike!" "Looks like the Stewarts are moving!" After a few moments... "Looks like the Robinson's are having sex!" Startled, his mom and dad sat up in bed. Dad cautiously called out, "How do you know they're having sex?" "Jimmy Robinson is on his balcony with a popsicle."

Question 5

Paper Towel Searcher Joke

What do you call someone who searches for paper towels?

Question 6

Good Years

I had a happy childhood; Dad would roll me down the hill in a tire. Those were Goodyears.

Question 7

Baby Fish Sleep Joke

Where do baby fish sleep?

Question 8

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Question 9

Tarzan's Beard Joke

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Question 10

Black Coffee

A new study found that people who take their coffee black are more likely to exhibit psychopathic behavior. And people who order a quad shot, non-fat, vanilla soy, extra foam, light whip with caramel drizzle are more likely to become their victims.

Question 11

Never Sing In The Shower

Singing leads to dancing, Dancing leads to slipping and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember don't sing in the shower!

Question 12

What Was E.T. Short For Joke

What was E.T. short for?

Question 13

Karate Pig Joke

What do you call a pig that does karate?

Question 14

Korean Martial Artist Joke

I once met a Korean martial artist who was giving away free chocolate bars. I asked him if I could take two. He said “No! You can Taekwondo.”

Question 15

Get Me A Beer Joke

I trained my dog to fetch me a beer. It may not sound impressive, but he gets it from the neighbors fridge!

Question 16

Being A Man Joke

Being a man means doing what I want when I want and not having to answer to... Shoot she's coming!!! To be continued.

Question 17

Blonde Raking Leaves Joke

How did the blonde break both legs while raking leaves?

Question 18

Giraffe Fart Joke

I bet giraffes don't even know what farts smell like.

Question 19

A Wife Sends A Text To Her Husband

Wife, "Honey, don't forget to buy bread when you come home from work and your girlfriend Valerie greets you." Husband, "Who is Valerie?" Wife, "Nobody, I just wanted you to answer, to have confirmation that you saw buy text." Husband, "But I'm with Valerie right now, I thought you saw me?" Wife, "What?! Where are you?" Husband, "Near the bakery." Wife, "Wait, I'm coming right now!" After five minutes the wife sends a message: Wife, "I'm at the bakery, where are you?" Husband, "I'm at work. Now that you're at the bakery, you can buy the bread!"

Question 20

Never Done Anything Wild?

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes, he's 95. We went to the food court to buy some lunch when we noticed a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look over and catch him staring every time. When the teenager had had enough, he sarcastically asked, "What's the matter old man, never did anything wild in your life?" Knowing my dad, I quickly swallowed my food to prevent choking upon hearing his response. "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

Question 21

Blondes And Cow Pies

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?

Question 22

Tree Scientist Joke

What do you call a tree that does science experiments?

Question 23

Mile Per Gallon Joke

The average human walks 900 miles per year and drinks 2.2 gallons of beer, which means the average human gets 41 miles per gallon!

Question 24

Jailed Picture Frame Joke

Why was the picture frame sent to jail?

Question 25

Cat For Christmas Joke

My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally, I do a turkey but hey, if it will make them happy...

Question 26

Marriage Tip

When your wife is mowing the lawn, that's probably not the best time to ask when dinner will be ready.

Question 27

Strawberry Gets Run Over Joke

What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?

Question 28

Money Joke

Money. May not make you happy. But will pay for vacation, lunches, dinners, cars, houses, flowers, children education, medical bills, and tacos!

Question 29

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Question 30

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

I was accused of stealing a thesaurus. I was not only shocked but appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

The Joker

A Duck, Skunk And A Deer Go To Dinner

A Really Dumb Dad Joke

A Tree In The Hand Joke

Afternoon Sex

Paper Towel Searcher Joke

Good Years

Baby Fish Sleep Joke

Banana Goes To The Doctor

Tarzan's Beard Joke

Black Coffee

Never Sing In The Shower

What Was E.T. Short For Joke

Karate Pig Joke

Korean Martial Artist Joke

Get Me A Beer Joke

Being A Man Joke

Blonde Raking Leaves Joke

Giraffe Fart Joke

A Wife Sends A Text To Her Husband

Never Done Anything Wild?

Blondes And Cow Pies

Tree Scientist Joke

Mile Per Gallon Joke

Jailed Picture Frame Joke

Cat For Christmas Joke

Marriage Tip

Strawberry Gets Run Over Joke

Money Joke

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

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