The Joker

Question 1

Flat Earth Joke

The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.

Question 2

Secure Job Joke

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

Question 3

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Why was the spider using the computer?

Question 4

Koala Bear Joke

Why don't koala bears hang around other bears?

Question 5

Pirate Singers Joke

Why are pirates great singers?

Question 6

Radio For Sale

Today I saw an ad that said, "Radio for sale $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Question 7

A Trip To The Store With Grandpa

I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies, biscuits, all sorts of things. The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Well, I was really impressed, and when I got outside I saw the grandfather loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I walked over and said to the Grandad "Its none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad." "Thanks," said the Granddad. "But I am William. That little a-hole's name is Kevin!

Question 8

Farmer Needs New Cows

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

Question 9

Locked Out Of The House

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Question 10

Ran Out Of Toilet Paper Joke

Ran out of toilet paper today and now using lettuce. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

Question 11

Fish Wearing Bowtie Joke

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Question 12

How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke

How do you get a farm girls attention?

Question 13

Buttcheeks Joke

Is "Buttcheeks" one word?

Question 14

Beekeeper Joke

I went to a beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. "Sir, you gave me an extra!" That's a freebie.

Question 15

I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke

I buy all my weapons from a guy named T-REX... He's a small arms dealer!

Question 16

Peek-a-boo Joke

Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?

Question 17

Possessive Pronouns

I hate it when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". There stupid.

Question 18

How To Cure A Headache

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like it says on the bottle.

Question 19

Clone Jokes

We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!

Question 20

A Wise Man Joke

In life, it is very important to know when to stop arguing with people and just let them be wrong!

Question 21

Don The Chicken.

Don came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Don." Don was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Don was devastated but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Don the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never," said Don. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head and heard... "Don, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Question 22

Drinking Buddies

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Trinidad. One day at the airport they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' What's that? 'Have you farted yet? No.' Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Barbados......

Question 23

National Taco Day Joke

To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.

Question 24

Santa R&R Pun

Where does Santa go after Christmas to relax?

Question 25

Where Are The Easter Egg

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.

Question 26

Onions And Beans Joke

What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?

Question 27

Caveman Survival Joke

How did the caveman survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs?

Question 28

German Sausage Pun

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Question 29

Group Of Baby Soldiers Joke

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?

Question 30

Frog Wear Joke

What do stylish frogs wear?

The Joker

Flat Earth Joke

Secure Job Joke

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Koala Bear Joke

Pirate Singers Joke

Radio For Sale

A Trip To The Store With Grandpa

Farmer Needs New Cows

Locked Out Of The House

Ran Out Of Toilet Paper Joke

Fish Wearing Bowtie Joke

How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke

Buttcheeks Joke

Beekeeper Joke

I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke

Peek-a-boo Joke

Possessive Pronouns

How To Cure A Headache

Clone Jokes

A Wise Man Joke

Don The Chicken.

Drinking Buddies

National Taco Day Joke

Santa R&R Pun

Where Are The Easter Egg

Onions And Beans Joke

Caveman Survival Joke

German Sausage Pun

Group Of Baby Soldiers Joke

Frog Wear Joke

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