The Joker

Question 1

Calendar Joke

Would February March?

Question 2

Missing Cake

My wife bought a Christmas cake last week and now we can't find it. I think it was stollen.

Question 3

Secure Job Joke

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

Question 4

Koala Bear Joke

Why don't koala bears hang around other bears?

Question 5

Pirate Singers Joke

Why are pirates great singers?

Question 6

Radio For Sale

Today I saw an ad that said, "Radio for sale $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Question 7

A Trip To The Store With Grandpa

I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies, biscuits, all sorts of things. The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Well, I was really impressed, and when I got outside I saw the grandfather loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I walked over and said to the Grandad "Its none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad." "Thanks," said the Granddad. "But I am William. That little a-hole's name is Kevin!

Question 8

ABC Joke

Ate two cans of Alphabet Soup. Had a terrible vowel movement.

Question 9

Ran Out Of Toilet Paper Joke

Ran out of toilet paper today and now using lettuce. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.

Question 10

National Taco Day Joke

To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.

Question 11

Darth Vader Pun

Darth Vaders sister Elle Vader.

Question 12

Buttcheeks Joke

Is "Buttcheeks" one word?

Question 13

I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke

I buy all my weapons from a guy named T-REX... He's a small arms dealer!

Question 14

Flat Earth Joke

The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.

Question 15

Peek-a-boo Joke

Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?

Question 16

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Why was the spider using the computer?

Question 17

Locked Out Of The House

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Question 18

A Wise Man Joke

In life, it is very important to know when to stop arguing with people and just let them be wrong!

Question 19

Beaver Pun

What did the beaver say when he swam into a wall? DAM!

Question 20

How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke

How do you get a farm girls attention?

Question 21

Drinking Buddies

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Trinidad. One day at the airport they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' What's that? 'Have you farted yet? No.' Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Barbados......

Question 22

Where Are The Easter Egg

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.

Question 23

Onions And Beans Joke

What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?

Question 24

Possessive Pronouns

I hate it when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". There stupid.

Question 25

Frog Wear Joke

What do stylish frogs wear?

Question 26

Little Johnny Loves Nickels

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. The favorite joke is to offer Johnny the choice between a nickel and a dime, Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

Question 27

Coming To Work Late Joke

I called my boss and asked if I could come in a little late. He said, "Dream on." I think that was really nice of him.

Question 28

Clone Jokes

We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!

Question 29

Don The Chicken.

Don came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Don." Don was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Don was devastated but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Don the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never," said Don. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head and heard... "Don, wake up! You shit the bed!"

Question 30

Wolf Joke

When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf!

The Joker

Calendar Joke

Missing Cake

Secure Job Joke

Koala Bear Joke

Pirate Singers Joke

Radio For Sale

A Trip To The Store With Grandpa

ABC Joke

Ran Out Of Toilet Paper Joke

National Taco Day Joke

Darth Vader Pun

Buttcheeks Joke

I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke

Flat Earth Joke

Peek-a-boo Joke

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Locked Out Of The House

A Wise Man Joke

Beaver Pun

How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke

Drinking Buddies

Where Are The Easter Egg

Onions And Beans Joke

Possessive Pronouns

Frog Wear Joke

Little Johnny Loves Nickels

Coming To Work Late Joke

Clone Jokes

Don The Chicken.

Wolf Joke

Joke Categories

SHARE THIS?

Newsletter

Contributors