The Joker

Question 1

Flat Earth Joke

The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.

Question 2

Idiot In Suspense

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Question 3

Robot Guacamole Joke

What do robots have with their guacamole?

Question 4

Secure Job Joke

My job is secure. No one else wants it.

Question 5

Koala Bear Joke

Why don't koala bears hang around other bears?

Question 6

Pirate Singers Joke

Why are pirates great singers?

Question 7

Radio For Sale

Today I saw an ad that said, "radio for sale $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."

Question 8

Trump Locked Out Of White House Joke.

Why can't Donald Trump go to the White House anymore?

Question 9

How To Cure A Headache

When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like it says on the bottle.

Question 10

Where Do Football Players Go To Get A New Uniform Joke

Where do football players go to get a new uniform?

Question 11

Locked Out Of The House

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Question 12

Clone Jokes

We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!

Question 13

Crowbar

A little know fact... Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

Question 14

Drinking Buddies

Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Trinidad. One day at the airport they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' What's that? 'Have you farted yet? No.' Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Barbados......

Question 15

Darth Vader Pun

Darth Vaders sister Elle Vader.

Question 16

Pick A Person To Blame.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems...

Question 17

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Why was the spider using the computer?

Question 18

Frog Wear Joke

What do stylish frogs wear?

Question 19

Igloo Joke

I wish I still had that igloo. But when I moved into it, my friends threw me a housewarming party. And I no longer had an igloo.

Question 20

Coming To Work Late Joke

I called my boss and asked if I could come in a little late. He said, "Dream on." I think that was really nice of him.

Question 21

Fish Wearing Bowtie Joke

What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?

Question 22

Wolf Joke

When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf!

Question 23

I Talk To Myself

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Question 24

Road To Heaven

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them. After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight. When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side. When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?' 'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered. Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked. Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up'.The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveller asked. 'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.' The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog. After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence. As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book. 'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?' 'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in..' 'How about my friend here?' the traveller gestured to the dog. There should be a bowl by the pump.' They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it. The traveller filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree. 'What do you call this place?' the traveller asked. This is Heaven,' he answered. 'Well, that's confusing,' the traveller said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.' 'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.' 'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?' 'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Question 25

Where Are The Easter Egg

The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.

Question 26

Peek-a-boo Joke

Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?

Question 27

Apartments Joke

Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

Question 28

Caveman Survival Joke

How did the caveman survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs?

Question 29

Wife And Kids Joke

I keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet... It reminds me of why there is no money there!

Question 30

Group Of Baby Soldiers Joke

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?

The Joker

Flat Earth Joke

Idiot In Suspense

Robot Guacamole Joke

Secure Job Joke

Koala Bear Joke

Pirate Singers Joke

Radio For Sale

Trump Locked Out Of White House Joke.

How To Cure A Headache

Where Do Football Players Go To Get A New Uniform Joke

Locked Out Of The House

Clone Jokes

Crowbar

Drinking Buddies

Darth Vader Pun

Pick A Person To Blame.

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Frog Wear Joke

Igloo Joke

Coming To Work Late Joke

Fish Wearing Bowtie Joke

Wolf Joke

I Talk To Myself

Road To Heaven

Where Are The Easter Egg

Peek-a-boo Joke

Apartments Joke

Caveman Survival Joke

Wife And Kids Joke

Group Of Baby Soldiers Joke

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