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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1231
Calendar Joke
Joke:
Would February March?
Punch Line
VOTE
Missing Cake
Joke:
My wife bought a Christmas cake last week and now we can't find it. I think it was stollen.
VOTE
Secure Job Joke
Joke:
My job is secure. No one else wants it.
VOTE
Koala Bear Joke
Joke:
Why don't koala bears hang around other bears?
Punch Line
VOTE
Pirate Singers Joke
Joke:
Why are pirates great singers?
Punch Line
VOTE
Radio For Sale
Joke:
Today I saw an ad that said, "Radio for sale $1, volume stuck on full." I thought, "I can't turn that down."
VOTE
A Trip To The Store With Grandpa
Joke:
I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies, biscuits, all sorts of things. The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Well, I was really impressed, and when I got outside I saw the grandfather loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I walked over and said to the Grandad "Its none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad." "Thanks," said the Granddad. "But I am William. That little a-hole's name is Kevin!
VOTE
ABC Joke
Joke:
Ate two cans of Alphabet Soup. Had a terrible vowel movement.
VOTE
Ran Out Of Toilet Paper Joke
Joke:
Ran out of toilet paper today and now using lettuce. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
VOTE
National Taco Day Joke
Joke:
To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.
Punch Line
VOTE
Darth Vader Pun
Joke:
Darth Vaders sister Elle Vader.
VOTE
Buttcheeks Joke
Joke:
Is "Buttcheeks" one word?
Punch Line
VOTE
I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke
Joke:
I buy all my weapons from a guy named T-REX... He's a small arms dealer!
VOTE
Flat Earth Joke
Joke:
The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.
VOTE
Peek-a-boo Joke
Joke:
Where do you take someone when they've been in a peek-a-boo accident?
Punch Line
VOTE
Spider Using A Computer Joke
Joke:
Why was the spider using the computer?
Punch Line
VOTE
Locked Out Of The House
Joke:
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.
VOTE
A Wise Man Joke
Joke:
In life, it is very important to know when to stop arguing with people and just let them be wrong!
VOTE
Beaver Pun
Joke:
What did the beaver say when he swam into a wall? DAM!
VOTE
How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke
Joke:
How do you get a farm girls attention?
Punch Line
VOTE
Drinking Buddies
Joke:
Dave and Jim were a couple of drinking buddies who worked as aircraft mechanics in Trinidad. One day at the airport they were stuck in the hangar with nothing to do. Dave said, 'Man, I wish we had something to drink!' Jim says, 'Me too. Y'know, I've heard you can drink jet fuel and get a buzz. You wanna try it?' So they pour themselves a couple of glasses of high octane booze and get completely smashed. The next morning Dave wakes up and is surprised at how good he feels. In fact, he feels GREAT! NO hangover! NO bad side effects. Nothing! Then the phone rings. It's Jim. Jim says, 'Hey, how do you feel this morning?' Dave says, 'I feel great, how about you?'Jim says, 'I feel great, too. You don't have a hangover?' Dave says, 'No that jet fuel is great stuff -- no hangover, nothing. We ought to do this more often..' Yeah, well there's just one thing.' What's that? 'Have you farted yet? No.' Well, DON'T - cause I'm in Barbados......
VOTE
Where Are The Easter Egg
Joke:
The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs and have fun finding them.
VOTE
Onions And Beans Joke
Joke:
What do you get if you eat onions on your beans?
Punch Line
VOTE
Possessive Pronouns
Joke:
I hate it when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". There stupid.
VOTE
Frog Wear Joke
Joke:
What do stylish frogs wear?
Punch Line
VOTE
Little Johnny Loves Nickels
Joke:
Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. The favorite joke is to offer Johnny the choice between a nickel and a dime, Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"
VOTE
Coming To Work Late Joke
Joke:
I called my boss and asked if I could come in a little late. He said, "Dream on." I think that was really nice of him.
VOTE
Clone Jokes
Joke:
We should ban jokes about clones... they're all the same!
VOTE
Don The Chicken.
Joke:
Don came home one night from a long day at work, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, "You died in your sleep, Don." Don was stunned. "I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!" St. Peter said, "I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken." Don was devastated but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. "So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?" "Not bad," replied Don the hen, "but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!" "You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never laid an egg before?" "Never," said Don. "Well, just relax and let it happen," says the rooster. "It's no big deal. He did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! He was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg - his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head and heard... "Don, wake up! You shit the bed!"
VOTE
Wolf Joke
Joke:
When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf!
VOTE
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Joke Categories
116
Adult Jokes
🔞
9
Airline Jokes
302
Animal Jokes
15
Baby Jokes
81
Bar & Drinking Jokes
100
Best Jokes
66
Blonde Jokes
9
Business Jokes
7
College Jokes
13
Computer Jokes
5
Cross the Road Jokes
402
Dad Jokes
6
Dentist Jokes
56
Doctor Jokes
8
Dumb Criminals
53
Elderly Jokes
15
Entertainment Jokes
21
Family Jokes
11
Farmer Jokes
121
Fart Jokes
133
Food Jokes
6
Golf Jokes
118
Holiday Jokes
24
Insult Jokes
4
Judge Jokes
170
Kid Jokes
10
Knock Knock Jokes
18
Lawyer Jokes
7
Lightbulb Jokes
5
Little Johnny Jokes
10
Love Jokes
80
Marriage Jokes
6
Military Jokes
118
Misc Jokes
13
Money Jokes
23
Musician Jokes
43
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
Office Jokes
78
One Liner Jokes
2
Pickup Jokes
4
Pilot Jokes
18
Pirate Jokes
22
Police Jokes
47
Political Jokes
77
Pop Culture Jokes
6
Programmer Jokes
234
Puns
11
Redneck Jokes
79
Relationship Jokes
58
Religious Jokes
5
Salespeople Jokes
31
School Jokes
29
Science Jokes
4
SciFI Jokes
32
Sport Jokes
17
Star Wars Jokes
26
Teacher Jokes
23
Technology Jokes
441
Word Play Jokes
63
Work Jokes
53
Yo Momma Jokes
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