The Joker

Question 1

Robot Guacamole Joke

What do robots have with their guacamole?

Question 2

Group Of Baby Soldiers Joke

What do you call a group of baby soldiers?

Question 3

Little Johnny Loves Nickels

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. The favorite joke is to offer Johnny the choice between a nickel and a dime, Little Johnny always takes the nickel. One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel is bigger?" Johnny grins and says, "Well, if I took the dime, they'd stop doing it, and so far I've made $20!"

Question 4

Skipping Rope Pun

I'm terrified of skipping ropes, bungees and trampolines....They make me jump.

Question 5

Blue And Not Heavy Joke

What is blue and not heavy?

Question 6

Nose Picker Joke

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like was just born with mine.

Question 7

How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke

How do you get a farm girls attention?

Question 8

Calendar Joke

Would February March? No, but April May.

Question 9

Penguin House

How does a penguin build its house?

Question 10

Stopped Drinking Coffee

I found that I have been happier since I changed from coffee in the morning to orange juice. My doctor explained that it's the vitamin C and natural sugars but I really think it's the vodka.

Question 11

Why Was Dracula Afraid Of Cows Joke

Why was Dracula afraid of cows?

Question 12

Broken Finger

I broke my finger last week. . .

Question 13

Potato Day Joke

What day of the week does a potato hate the most?

Question 14

I Switched All The Labels On My Wife's Spice Rack...

I switched all the labels on my wife's spice rack... I'm not in trouble yet, but the thyme is cumin.

Question 15

Twins Favorite Fruit

What are twins favorite fruit?

Question 16

Ex Wife Joke

This was a terrible day. First my ex-wife got hit by a bus. Then, I lost my job as a bus driver.

Question 17

Wife And Kids Joke

I keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet... It reminds me of why there is no money there!

Question 18

Talking Plate Joke

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Question 19

Energizer Bunny Pun

Energizer bunny arrested: Charged with battery.

Question 20

A Man Goes To The Optician Joke

A man goes to the Optician for his eye test. The Optician asks him what he can see. "I see empty airports, empty football stadiums, closed theaters, and closed pubs." "That's perfect," says the Optician. "You've got 2020 vision!"

Question 21

The Wife's Cat Joke

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Question 22

Don't Honk In The Drive Through

I know I shouldn't have, but I am old and I was in the McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own. The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness. When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too. Now she has to go back to the end of the queue and start all over again, Don't blow your horn at old people, they have been around a long time.

Question 23

I Talk To Myself

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

Question 24

Eat Homework Joke

Why did the student eat his homework?

Question 25

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

Why didn't the ghost eat his candy?

Question 26

German Sausage Pun

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

Question 27

Holy Water Pun

How do you make holy water?

Question 28

New Frangrance

I just released my own fragrance... Nobody in the car seemed to like it.

Question 29

Talking Frog Joke

A 72-year-old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his shirt pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.' He opened his pocket, looked at the frog, and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.' With age - comes wisdom!

Question 30

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

The Joker

Robot Guacamole Joke

Group Of Baby Soldiers Joke

Little Johnny Loves Nickels

Skipping Rope Pun

Blue And Not Heavy Joke

Nose Picker Joke

How Do You Get A Farm Girls Attention Joke

Calendar Joke

Penguin House

Stopped Drinking Coffee

Why Was Dracula Afraid Of Cows Joke

Broken Finger

Potato Day Joke

I Switched All The Labels On My Wife's Spice Rack...

Twins Favorite Fruit

Ex Wife Joke

Wife And Kids Joke

Talking Plate Joke

Energizer Bunny Pun

A Man Goes To The Optician Joke

The Wife's Cat Joke

Don't Honk In The Drive Through

I Talk To Myself

Eat Homework Joke

Ghost Didn't Eat His Candy Joke

German Sausage Pun

Holy Water Pun

New Frangrance

Talking Frog Joke

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

Joke Categories

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