The Joker

Question 1

Almond Diet

I thought about going on an all almond diet... But that's just nuts!

Question 2

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

How do you get a mouse to smile?

Question 3

Asphalt Pun

A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says "I'll take a beer ...and one for the road"

Question 4

Haunted House Joke

What is the safest room in a haunted house?

Question 5

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Question 6

Horse Injury Pun

A horse got hurt but he is doing fine and in fact, he is back in stable condition.

Question 7

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.

Question 8

Sinking Lamp Joke

Why didn't the lamp sink?

Question 9

Communism Pun

I never really thought communism would work. Way to many red flags.

Question 10

Clock Pun

6:30 is hands down the best time on any clock.

Question 11

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

Question 12

Cheap Circumcision

What do you call a cheap circumcision?

Question 13

Sugar Is The Word Joke

Saturday night I was in a bar having a beer, minding my own business, when this big, hairy, mean, drunk biker dude gets in my face, and starts screaming "SUGAR IS THE ONLY WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHERE THE S SOUNDS LIKE SH. AM I RIGHT?" I didn't want to cause any trouble, so i said "Sure."

Question 14

Broken Hinges Joke

If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges... My door is always open.

Question 15

Crocodile With GPS Joke

What do you call a crocodile with GPS?

Question 16

Rabbits Walking Backwards Joke

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?

Question 17

Knock Knock Owl Joke

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!

Question 18

A Bridge To Hawaii Joke

A biker was riding his Harley along a California highway, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: Because you have tried to be faithful to me and always, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want. The Lord said your request is materialistic. Think of all the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind. The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, when she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, when she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy. The Lord replied, “ do you want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”

Question 19

Cats Favorite Color Joke

What's a cats favorite color?

Question 20

Covid Carpool

So, I got pulled over in the carpool lane the other day. When the officer asked where my passenger was. I told him due to social distancing, he was in the car behind me.

Question 21

The #1 Cause Of Divorce

What is the #1 cause of divorce?

Question 22

A Duck, Skunk And A Deer Go To Dinner

A duck a skunk and a deer when out to dinner at a restaurant one night. When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck, so they put the meal on the ducks bill.

Question 23

Email Warning

If you ever receive an email titled "Ding Dong", do not open it. It's a Jehovahs Witness working from home.

Question 24

Not Bragging

I don't mean to brag but cashiers are always checking me out.

Question 25

Tree Stand Joke

How do you make a tree-stand?

Question 26

Cat The Doesn't Tell The Truth Joke

What do you call a cat that doesn't tell the truth?

Question 27

Mirror Mirror On The Wall Joke

We all know that mirrors don't lie... I'm just grateful they don't laugh!

Question 28

Chemist Pun

When chemists die, they barium.

Question 29

Google Joke

Google must be a woman because it knows everything!

Question 30

Beard Pun

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

The Joker

Almond Diet

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

Asphalt Pun

Haunted House Joke

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Horse Injury Pun

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

Sinking Lamp Joke

Communism Pun

Clock Pun

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

Cheap Circumcision

Sugar Is The Word Joke

Broken Hinges Joke

Crocodile With GPS Joke

Rabbits Walking Backwards Joke

Knock Knock Owl Joke

A Bridge To Hawaii Joke

Cats Favorite Color Joke

Covid Carpool

The #1 Cause Of Divorce

A Duck, Skunk And A Deer Go To Dinner

Email Warning

Not Bragging

Tree Stand Joke

Cat The Doesn't Tell The Truth Joke

Mirror Mirror On The Wall Joke

Chemist Pun

Google Joke

Beard Pun

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