The Joker

Question 1

An Old Cowboy Bar Joke

An old cowboy goes into a bar and orders a drink. As he sits there sipping his whiskey, a young lady sits down next to him. She turns to the cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy?" He replies, "Well, I've spent my whole life on the ranch, herding horses, mending fences, and branding cattle, so I guess I am." She says, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. When I shower or watch TV, everything seems to make me think of women." A little while later, a couple sits down next to the old cowboy and asks him, "Are you a real cowboy? "He replies, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian."

Question 2

Money Joke

Money. May not make you happy. But will pay for vacation, lunches, dinners, cars, houses, flowers, children education, medical bills, and tacos!

Question 3

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

Question 4

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

I was accused of stealing a thesaurus. I was not only shocked but appalled, aghast, and dismayed.

Question 5

Which Floor

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please just press one?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.

Question 6

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?

Question 7

Bear Paw Pun

A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The bear says "I'll have a rum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and coke." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, " What can I say, I was born with 'em."

Question 8

1080p Pun

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Question 9

Santa Pun

Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.

Question 10

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?

Question 11

Almond Diet

I thought about going on an all almond diet... But that's just nuts!

Question 12

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

How do you get a mouse to smile?

Question 13

Asphalt Pun

A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says "I'll take a beer ...and one for the road"

Question 14

Haunted House Joke

What is the safest room in a haunted house?

Question 15

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?

Question 16

Horse Injury Pun

A horse got hurt but he is doing fine and in fact, he is back in stable condition.

Question 17

Canned Meat Joke

If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it... It's Spam!

Question 18

Quarantine Joke

I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice".

Question 19

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.

Question 20

Sinking Lamp Joke

Why didn't the lamp sink?

Question 21

Communism Pun

I never really thought communism would work. Way to many red flags.

Question 22

Clock Pun

6:30 is hands down the best time on any clock.

Question 23

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

Question 24

Sugar Is The Word Joke

Saturday night I was in a bar having a beer, minding my own business, when this big, hairy, mean, drunk biker dude gets in my face, and starts screaming "SUGAR IS THE ONLY WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHERE THE S SOUNDS LIKE SH. AM I RIGHT?" I didn't want to cause any trouble, so i said "Sure."

Question 25

Broken Hinges Joke

If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges... My door is always open.

Question 26

Crocodile With GPS Joke

What do you call a crocodile with GPS?

Question 27

Fart Coin

There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common cents.

Question 28

Rabbits Walking Backwards Joke

What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?

Question 29

Knock Knock Owl Joke

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!

Question 30

A Bridge To Hawaii Joke

A biker was riding his Harley along a California highway, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: Because you have tried to be faithful to me and always, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want. The Lord said your request is materialistic. Think of all the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind. The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, when she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, when she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy. The Lord replied, “ do you want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”

The Joker

An Old Cowboy Bar Joke

Money Joke

Halloween Pumpkin Joke

Stealing A Thesaurus Joke

Which Floor

Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke

Bear Paw Pun

1080p Pun

Santa Pun

Thesaurus Breakfast Joke

Almond Diet

Get A Mouse To Smile Joke

Asphalt Pun

Haunted House Joke

Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke

Horse Injury Pun

Canned Meat Joke

Quarantine Joke

Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke

Sinking Lamp Joke

Communism Pun

Clock Pun

Use You Big Boy Words Joke

Sugar Is The Word Joke

Broken Hinges Joke

Crocodile With GPS Joke

Fart Coin

Rabbits Walking Backwards Joke

Knock Knock Owl Joke

A Bridge To Hawaii Joke

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