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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1229
Which Floor
Joke:
This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator. I was staring at her boobs when she said, "Would you please just press one?" So I did... I don't remember much after that.
VOTE
Mummy's Favorite Music Halloween Joke
Joke:
What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?
Punch Line
VOTE
Bear Paw Pun
Joke:
A bear walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The bear says "I'll have a rum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . and coke." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The bear answers, " What can I say, I was born with 'em."
VOTE
Christmas And Crabs Pun
Joke:
What do Christmas and crabs have in common?
Punch Line
VOTE
Santa Pun
Joke:
Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.
VOTE
Thesaurus Breakfast Joke
Joke:
What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?
Punch Line
VOTE
A Women Pleasure
Joke:
Husband asked his wife, "Why don't you tell me when you orgasm?" Wife, "Because I don't like calling you when you're at work."
VOTE
Almond Diet
Joke:
I thought about going on an all almond diet... But that's just nuts!
VOTE
Get A Mouse To Smile Joke
Joke:
How do you get a mouse to smile?
Punch Line
VOTE
Asphalt Pun
Joke:
A man walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. The man says "I'll take a beer ...and one for the road"
VOTE
Haunted House Joke
Joke:
What is the safest room in a haunted house?
Punch Line
VOTE
Scarecrow Noble Prize Joke
Joke:
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?
Punch Line
VOTE
Horse Injury Pun
Joke:
A horse got hurt but he is doing fine and in fact, he is back in stable condition.
VOTE
Canned Meat Joke
Joke:
If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it... It's Spam!
VOTE
Quarantine Joke
Joke:
I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, "Must be nice".
VOTE
Manager Of A Muffler Shop Joke
Joke:
My friend quit his job as manager of a muffler shop. Said he was tired of coming home every night exhausted.
VOTE
Sinking Lamp Joke
Joke:
Why didn't the lamp sink?
Punch Line
VOTE
Communism Pun
Joke:
I never really thought communism would work. Way to many red flags.
VOTE
Clock Pun
Joke:
6:30 is hands down the best time on any clock.
VOTE
Use You Big Boy Words Joke
Joke:
A group of four-year-olds were trying very hard to become accustomed to school. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk! "You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them. "John what did you do over the weekend?" "I went to visit my Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo." "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words," she said. She then asked little Alex what he had done. "I read a book," he replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Alex thought very hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the SHIT."
VOTE
Cheap Circumcision
Joke:
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
Punch Line
VOTE
Sugar Is The Word Joke
Joke:
Saturday night I was in a bar having a beer, minding my own business, when this big, hairy, mean, drunk biker dude gets in my face, and starts screaming "SUGAR IS THE ONLY WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE WHERE THE S SOUNDS LIKE SH. AM I RIGHT?" I didn't want to cause any trouble, so i said "Sure."
VOTE
Broken Hinges Joke
Joke:
If anyone knows how to fix broken hinges... My door is always open.
VOTE
Crocodile With GPS Joke
Joke:
What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
Punch Line
VOTE
Coin Shortage Joke
Joke:
There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common cents.
VOTE
Rabbits Walking Backwards Joke
Joke:
What do you call a bunch of rabbits walking backwards?
Punch Line
VOTE
Knock Knock Owl Joke
Joke:
Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!
VOTE
A Bridge To Hawaii Joke
Joke:
A biker was riding his Harley along a California highway, when suddenly the sky cleared above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said: Because you have tried to be faithful to me and always, I will grant you one wish. The biker pulled over and said, build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want. The Lord said your request is materialistic. Think of all the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific, and the concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind. The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, Lord, I wish that I and all men could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, when she cries, what she means when she says nothing is wrong, when she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy. The Lord replied, “ do you want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge?”
VOTE
Cats Favorite Color Joke
Joke:
What's a cats favorite color?
Punch Line
VOTE
Covid Carpool
Joke:
So, I got pulled over in the carpool lane the other day. When the officer asked where my passenger was. I told him due to social distancing, he was in the car behind me.
VOTE
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Joke Categories
114
Adult Jokes
🔞
9
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300
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15
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81
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100
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66
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9
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7
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13
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5
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400
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56
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8
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52
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15
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21
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11
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122
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133
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118
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43
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