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Jokers
The Joker
Joke Count: 1229
U.S. Coin Shortage
Joke:
Did you hear that there is a coin shortage?
Punch Line
VOTE
Shrinking Man See's A Doctor
Joke:
A man runs into the doctor's office screaming that he is shrinking. The doc says, "Calm down you just need to be a little patient."
VOTE
What Do You Call A Cat That Sucks Lemons?
Joke:
What do you call a cat that sucks lemons?
Punch Line
VOTE
Eleven Inch Pianist Joke
Joke:
A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall, and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink. The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?" The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry." The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." The guy says, "Do you really think I asked for an eleven-inch pianist?"
VOTE
My Wife Made It Joke.
Joke:
The graveyard service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."
VOTE
A Guy Sits Down At The Bar Joke
Joke:
A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything ok, pal? the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she isn't talking to me for a month!" Trying to put a positive spin on things the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know... a little peace and quiet?" The guy replies, "Yeah, but today is the last day!"
VOTE
Vegetable Call A Plumber Joke
Joke:
Why did the vegetable call a plumber?
Punch Line
VOTE
Vegan Pun
Joke:
This girl said she recognized me from some vegan restaurant but I knew I'd never met herbivore.
VOTE
Old Apple Joke
Joke:
What do you call an old apple?
Punch Line
VOTE
Boomerang Grenade Joke
Joke:
Sad news today, the guy that invented the boomerang hand grenade died yesterday during product testing.
VOTE
Chocolate Advent Calendar Joke
Joke:
According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 3 days till Christmas
VOTE
Upset Toast Joke
Joke:
What did the upset toast say about my compliments?
Punch Line
VOTE
New Diet Joke
Joke:
Today I bought a donut without sprinkles... Diets are hard!
VOTE
Himalayan Rabbit Stew Joke
Joke:
Tonight we're having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner. We found him-a-layan in the road.
VOTE
Hot Flight Attendant
Joke:
A businessman in the first-class cabin decided to chat up the drop-dead, gorgeous flight attendant: "What is your name?" Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir" Businessman: "Lovely name ... Any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close" Businessman: "How close?" Flight Attendant: "Same price."
VOTE
Possessive Pronouns
Joke:
I hate it when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". There stupid.
VOTE
Jelly Fish Joke
Joke:
What's in the middle of a jellyfish?
Punch Line
VOTE
Funny Mountain Joke
Joke:
What do you call a funny mountain?
Punch Line
VOTE
Synonym Joke
Joke:
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.
VOTE
Chicken Sandwiches Joke
Joke:
I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn't! It just craps on the floor.
VOTE
Mafia Hit Men Joke
Joke:
Two mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night. One of them says, "I'm kind of scared out here." The other replies, "You're scared... I gotta walk back alone!"
VOTE
Brunette Joke #3
Joke:
What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?
Punch Line
VOTE
Self Testing For COVID-19
Joke:
Pour a measure of whiskey, gin, or rum in a glass, then see if you can smell it. If you can, then drink it and if you can taste it it's reasonable to assume you're currently free from the virus. I tested myself nine times last night and was virus-free each time, thank goodness. I will test myself again today because I've developed a headache which can also be a symptom.
VOTE
Tickle Me Elmo
Joke:
What did they give Tickle-Me-Elmo before he left the factory?
Punch Line
VOTE
Trumpkin
Joke:
Orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should be thrown out in November.
VOTE
Seafood Joke
Joke:
Huge fight at seafood restaurant. Battered fish everywhere!
VOTE
Gym Day
Joke:
Did 3 laps around the gym today... Couldn't find a parking spot so I went home.
VOTE
People Person Joke
Joke:
I used to be a people person... but people ruined that for me!
VOTE
Food That Causes Grief & Suffering
Joke:
Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake!
VOTE
Glasses And Mask Joke
Joke:
If you have to wear both mask and glasses, you may be entitled to condensation.
VOTE
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Joke Categories
114
Adult Jokes
🔞
8
Airline Jokes
282
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15
Baby Jokes
81
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100
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66
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9
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7
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13
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5
Cross the Road Jokes
395
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6
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56
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8
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52
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15
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21
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11
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121
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133
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6
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118
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24
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4
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171
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10
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18
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7
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4
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10
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80
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6
Military Jokes
117
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13
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23
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42
National Jokes
5
News Jokes
3
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78
One Liner Jokes
2
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4
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18
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22
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46
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5
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233
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11
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441
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