The Joker

Question 1

New Frangrance

I just released my own fragrance... Nobody in the car seemed to like it.

Question 2

Talking Frog Joke

A 72-year-old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his shirt pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.' He opened his pocket, looked at the frog, and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.' With age - comes wisdom!

Question 3

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

Question 4

U.S. Coin Shortage

Did you hear that there is a coin shortage?

Question 5

Food That Causes Grief & Suffering

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake!

Question 6

Smiling Or Laughing

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty. If you see me laughing, I've already done it.

Question 7

Eleven Inch Pianist Joke

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall, and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink. The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?" The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry." The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." The guy says, "Do you really think I asked for an eleven-inch pianist?"

Question 8

My Wife Made It Joke.

The graveyard service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

Question 9

A Guy Sits Down At The Bar Joke

A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink. "Is everything ok, pal? the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she isn't talking to me for a month!" Trying to put a positive spin on things the bartender says, "Well, maybe that's kind of a good thing. You know... a little peace and quiet?" The guy replies, "Yeah, but today is the last day!"

Question 10

Vegetable Call A Plumber Joke

Why did the vegetable call a plumber?

Question 11

Vegan Pun

This girl said she recognized me from some vegan restaurant but I knew I'd never met herbivore.

Question 12

Old Apple Joke

What do you call an old apple?

Question 13

Army Bush Pun

If you don't know what this is don't ever join the Army. You don't even know an ambush when you see one.

Question 14

Chocolate Advent Calendar Joke

According to my chocolate advent calendar, there are only 3 days till Christmas

Question 15

Upset Toast Joke

What did the upset toast say about my compliments?

Question 16

New Diet Joke

Today I bought a donut without sprinkles... Diets are hard!

Question 17

Himalayan Rabbit Stew Joke

Tonight we're having Himalayan rabbit stew for dinner. We found him-a-layan in the road.

Question 18

Hot Flight Attendant

A businessman in the first-class cabin decided to chat up the drop-dead, gorgeous flight attendant: "What is your name?" Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir" Businessman: "Lovely name ... Any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close" Businessman: "How close?" Flight Attendant: "Same price."

Question 19

Tampon Joke

What did one tampon say the the other?

Question 20

A Girls Sexual Experiance.

What are the similarities between my first sexual experience and my first bike ride?

Question 21

IQ Test Results

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Question 22

Funny Mountain Joke

What do you call a funny mountain?

Question 23

Synonym Joke

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one.

Question 24

Chicken Sandwiches Joke

I bought a chicken to make sandwiches. It doesn't! It just craps on the floor.

Question 25

Holy Water Pun

How do you make holy water?

Question 26

Mafia Hit Men Joke

Two mafia hit-men are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night. One of them says, "I'm kind of scared out here." The other replies, "You're scared... I gotta walk back alone!"

Question 27

Brunette Joke #3

What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?

Question 28

Self Testing For COVID-19

Pour a measure of whiskey, gin, or rum in a glass, then see if you can smell it. If you can, then drink it and if you can taste it it's reasonable to assume you're currently free from the virus. I tested myself nine times last night and was virus-free each time, thank goodness. I will test myself again today because I've developed a headache which can also be a symptom.

Question 29

Tickle Me Elmo

What did they give Tickle-Me-Elmo before he left the factory?

Question 30

Trumpkin

Orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should be thrown out in November.

The Joker

New Frangrance

Talking Frog Joke

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

U.S. Coin Shortage

Food That Causes Grief & Suffering

Smiling Or Laughing

Eleven Inch Pianist Joke

My Wife Made It Joke.

A Guy Sits Down At The Bar Joke

Vegetable Call A Plumber Joke

Vegan Pun

Old Apple Joke

Army Bush Pun

Chocolate Advent Calendar Joke

Upset Toast Joke

New Diet Joke

Himalayan Rabbit Stew Joke

Hot Flight Attendant

Tampon Joke

A Girls Sexual Experiance.

IQ Test Results

Funny Mountain Joke

Synonym Joke

Chicken Sandwiches Joke

Holy Water Pun

Mafia Hit Men Joke

Brunette Joke #3

Self Testing For COVID-19

Tickle Me Elmo

Trumpkin

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