The Joker

Question 1

So Judgmental

So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell by just looking at them.

Question 2

Twins Favorite Fruit

What are twins favorite fruit?

Question 3

Energizer Bunny Pun

Energizer bunny arrested: Charged with battery.

Question 4

New Frangrance

I just released my own fragrance... Nobody in the car seemed to like it.

Question 5

The Wife's Cat Joke

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast out and headed home. Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat! He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home. At last, he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home and left the cat there. Hours later the man calls home to his wife: "Jen, is the cat there?" "Yes", the wife answers, "why do you ask?" Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that son of a bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Question 6

What Is A Pirates Favorite Letter Joke

What is a pirates favorite letter?

Question 7

Food That Causes Grief & Suffering

Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years after it's been eaten. It's called wedding cake!

Question 8

Smiling Or Laughing

If you see me smiling, it's because I'm thinking of doing something naughty. If you see me laughing, I've already done it.

Question 9

Coffee Can Make You Aggressive

Warning! Coffee can make you aggressive. Yesterday I had 15 beers at the bar, and my wife had 3 cups of coffee at home. When I got home she was extremely pissed off.

Question 10

Eleven Inch Pianist Joke

A man walks into a bar. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little man, maybe a foot tall, and a little piano. He puts them both on the bar, and the little guy starts playing Mozart as the man orders his drink. The bartender says "I'm sure it's none of my business, but where did you find a little man who plays piano like that?" The guy says "There's a genie outside granting wishes, I bet he's still there if you hurry." The bartender runs outside, and moments later a bunch of ducks come in through the front door and start causing a big ruckus. The bartender says "You didn't tell me the genie was deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks." The guy says, "Do you really think I asked for an eleven-inch pianist?"

Question 11

Crowbar Joke

A little know fact... Before the crowbar was invented, most crows drank at home.

Question 12

My Wife Made It Joke.

The graveyard service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance... The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, "Well, she's there."

Question 13

Vegan Pun

This girl said she recognized me from some vegan restaurant but I knew I'd never met herbivore.

Question 14

Old Apple Joke

What do you call an old apple?

Question 15

Pilot Joke

Two, not very bright, pilots come in for a landing when the pilot has to slam on the brakes. Captain Bill looks over at Roger the co-pilot and says, "Damn that is the shortest runway we have ever landed on!" Roger takes a long look left, then a long look right and replies, "Yeah but look how wide it is!"

Question 16

No Chocolate Ice Cream Joke

An old lady walks up to an ice cream truck and asks the guy for some chocolate ice cream. He tells her that they just sold out. She comes back a few minutes later and once again asks for chocolate ice cream. The guy in the truck told her sorry but we are all out of chocolate ice cream for the rest of the day. She comes back a few minutes later asking for some chocolate ice cream. So the guy in the truck asks her to spell the van in vanilla. "Van" she spells out. Great now spell the straw in strawberry, so she replies "straw". Very good, now do me a favor and spell the fuck in chocolate. She tells him "there is no fuck in chocolate". He replies "that's what I've been trying to tell you, lady, there is no fuckin chocolate".

Question 17

Upset Toast Joke

What did the upset toast say about my compliments?

Question 18

New Diet Joke

Today I bought a donut without sprinkles... Diets are hard!

Question 19

Hot Flight Attendant

A businessman in the first-class cabin decided to chat up the drop-dead, gorgeous flight attendant: "What is your name?" Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir" Businessman: "Lovely name ... Any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close" Businessman: "How close?" Flight Attendant: "Same price."

Question 20

Tampon Joke

What did one tampon say the the other?

Question 21

A Girls Sexual Experiance.

What are the similarities between my first sexual experience and my first bike ride?

Question 22

Jelly Fish Joke

What's in the middle of a jellyfish?

Question 23

Funny Mountain Joke

What do you call a funny mountain?

Question 24

Holy Water Pun

How do you make holy water?

Question 25

Talking Frog Joke

A 72-year-old man had one hobby - he loved to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.' he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, 'Pick me up.' He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog. The man said, 'Are you talking to me?' The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous because I will be your bride!' The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his shirt pocket. The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?' I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.' He opened his pocket, looked at the frog, and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.' With age - comes wisdom!

Question 26

Brunette Joke #3

What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde?

Question 27

Self Testing For COVID-19

Pour a measure of whiskey, gin, or rum in a glass, then see if you can smell it. If you can, then drink it and if you can taste it it's reasonable to assume you're currently free from the virus. I tested myself nine times last night and was virus-free each time, thank goodness. I will test myself again today because I've developed a headache which can also be a symptom.

Question 28

Pie Rate Joke.

A chicken pie in Jamaica costs $2.00. A chicken pie in Trinidad costs $2.40. A chicken pie in St. Kitts cost $2.25... These are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

Question 29

Tickle Me Elmo

What did they give Tickle-Me-Elmo before he left the factory?

Question 30

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?

The Joker

So Judgmental

Twins Favorite Fruit

Energizer Bunny Pun

New Frangrance

The Wife's Cat Joke

What Is A Pirates Favorite Letter Joke

Food That Causes Grief & Suffering

Smiling Or Laughing

Coffee Can Make You Aggressive

Eleven Inch Pianist Joke

Crowbar Joke

My Wife Made It Joke.

Vegan Pun

Old Apple Joke

Pilot Joke

No Chocolate Ice Cream Joke

Upset Toast Joke

New Diet Joke

Hot Flight Attendant

Tampon Joke

A Girls Sexual Experiance.

Jelly Fish Joke

Funny Mountain Joke

Holy Water Pun

Talking Frog Joke

Brunette Joke #3

Self Testing For COVID-19

Pie Rate Joke.

Tickle Me Elmo

Snowman 6-Pack Joke

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