1. Jokers

The Joker

Joke Count: 1234
Joke: Lance is a common name these days, but in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.
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Joke: To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.
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Joke: It's important to look carefully at lawn signs during an election. Last time I voted for a real estate agent.
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Joke: What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
Punch Line
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Joke: At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 5 miles a day. She's 92 now and we have no idea where she is.
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Joke: My friend has a trophy wife... Apparently, he didn't get first place.
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Joke: I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A women asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
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Joke: The police arrested two kids on the 4th of July, one was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks. What did the police do?
Punch Line
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Joke: We all know that Albert Einstein was a genius but...
Punch Line
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Joke: I'm reading a book called "Quick Money for Dummies", by Robin Banks.
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Joke: Nine out of Ten husbands agreed that their wives are always right... The 10th husband hasn't been seen since the study was conducted.
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Joke: Sometimes it takes me eight hours to get nothing done.
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Joke: It's autumn. My wife asked me why I won't rake the leaves?. I said, "It's because they're called leaves. If they were called pick-me-ups I would pick them up, but they're called leaves so I leave them."
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Joke: The local pet store is having a free giveaway on birds today...no perches necessary.
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Joke: A friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl, both box seats! He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at Holy Cross Church, on Lake Ave at 3 pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too...She'll be the one in the white dress.
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Joke: This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19. I usually don't go because I'm poor!
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Joke: What is a gust of wind's favorite color?
Punch Line
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Joke: Why can't Donald Trump go to the White House anymore?
Punch Line
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Joke: So, I was at Walmart earlier. A lady was looking at the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" He replies with a straight face, "No ma'am, they're dead."
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Joke: When quarantine is over, let's not tell some people.
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Joke: Did you know there are no canaries on the Canary Islands? Same as with the Virgin Islands... No canaries there either.
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Joke: When I get a headache, I take two aspirin and keep away from children just like it says on the bottle.
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Joke: If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?
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Joke: If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to the lock calmly. Because communication is key.
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Joke: Would February March?
Punch Line
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Joke: Stop blaming everyone for all your problems...
Punch Line
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Joke: How did the caveman survive the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs?
Punch Line
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Joke: My job is secure. No one else wants it.
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Joke: A neighbor suggested I put manure on my strawberries. Tasted horrible! I'm sticking with whipped cream!
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Joke: My earliest childhood memory was getting my first pair of glasses... Life before that was a blur.
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