The Joker

Question 1

Grandma Walking Joke

At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 5 miles a day. She's 92 now and we have no idea where she is.

Question 2

Idiot In Suspense

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Question 3

My Name Is Lance Pun

Lance is a common name these days, but in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.

Question 4

Dumb And Nobody

Dumb and Nobody are best friends. One day they decide to go for a bike ride. They start riding their bikes. Suddenly Nobody falls off his bike. Dumb calls the police and says: OH MY GOD!! Nobody fell off a bike!!! Police lady: What the heck? Are you dumb?

Question 5

Butt Kisser Brown Nose Difference Joke

What's the difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser?

Question 6

IKEA Was Appointed Prime Minister Of Sweden Joke

Just read the CEO of IKEA was appointed Prime Minister of Sweden. He's currently assembling his cabinet.

Question 7

Beaver Pun

What did the beaver say when he swam into a wall? DAM!

Question 8

How Much Does A Pirate Pay For Corn Joke

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

Question 9

Falling Autumn Leaves

It's autumn. My wife asked me why I won't rake the leaves?. I said, "It's because they're called leaves. If they were called pick-me-ups I would pick them up, but they're called leaves so I leave them."

Question 10

Frozen Turkey's Joke

So, I was at Walmart earlier. A lady was looking at the frozen turkeys, but she couldn't find one big enough. She asked the stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" He replies with a straight face, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Question 11

Super Bowl Tickets

A friend of mine has two tickets for the Super Bowl, both box seats! He paid $2,500 each but he didn't realize last year when he bought them, it was going to be on the same day as his wedding. If you are interested, he is looking for someone to take his place...It's at Holy Cross Church, on Lake Ave at 3 pm. The bride's name is Nicole, she's 5'4", about 115 lbs, good cook too...She'll be the one in the white dress.

Question 12

Strawberries

A neighbor suggested I put manure on my strawberries. Tasted horrible! I'm sticking with whipped cream!

Question 13

COVID-19 Vacation

This is the first year I'm not going to Fiji due to COVID-19. I usually don't go because I'm poor!

Question 14

ABC Joke

Ate two cans of Alphabet Soup. Had a terrible vowel movement.

Question 15

What Did One Hat Say To The Other Hat

What did one hat say to the other hat?

Question 16

A Blond's Password

So this guy asked his blond girlfriend what was her password and she told him it was "mickeyminniedonaldgoofyhueydueylouieplutohonolulu". When he asked her why she had such a long password she just rolled her eyes and said "hello! it does have to be at least eight characters and include a capital too!"

Question 17

Quarantine's Over

When quarantine is over, let's not tell some people.

Question 18

IDK Joke

My uncle asked me what does IDK mean? I said, "I Don't Know". He said, "Damn, nobody does!"

Question 19

Money Grows On Trees Joke

If money doesn't grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Question 20

Invention Of 0 Joke

To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.

Question 21

My Earliest Childhood Memory Joke

My earliest childhood memory was getting my first pair of glasses... Life before that was a blur.

Question 22

Bank Job

I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A women asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Question 23

Essential Oils

To me, essential oils are what drips out of a taco.

Question 24

Missing Cake

My wife bought a Christmas cake last week and now we can't find it. I think it was stollen.

Question 25

I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke

I buy all my weapons from a guy named T-REX... He's a small arms dealer!

Question 26

Flat Earth Joke

The Flat Earth Society recently announced that they now have members all around the globe.

Question 27

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Why was the spider using the computer?

Question 28

Trump Locked Out Of White House Joke.

Why can't Donald Trump go to the White House anymore?

Question 29

A Trip To The Store With Grandpa

I was behind a grandfather and his badly-behaved grandson. He has his hands full with the child screaming for lollies, biscuits, all sorts of things. The granddad is saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy boy." Another outburst and I heard the granddad calmly say: "It's okay William. Just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little horror is throwing items out of the trolley. Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes, stay cool William." Well, I was really impressed, and when I got outside I saw the grandfather loading his groceries and the boy into the car. I walked over and said to the Grandad "Its none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you as his granddad." "Thanks," said the Granddad. "But I am William. That little a-hole's name is Kevin!

Question 30

Farmer Needs New Cows

How does a farmer find new cows to buy?

The Joker

Grandma Walking Joke

Idiot In Suspense

My Name Is Lance Pun

Dumb And Nobody

Butt Kisser Brown Nose Difference Joke

IKEA Was Appointed Prime Minister Of Sweden Joke

Beaver Pun

How Much Does A Pirate Pay For Corn Joke

Falling Autumn Leaves

Frozen Turkey's Joke

Super Bowl Tickets

Strawberries

COVID-19 Vacation

ABC Joke

What Did One Hat Say To The Other Hat

A Blond's Password

Quarantine's Over

IDK Joke

Money Grows On Trees Joke

Invention Of 0 Joke

My Earliest Childhood Memory Joke

Bank Job

Essential Oils

Missing Cake

I Buy All My Weapons From A Guy Named T-REX Joke

Flat Earth Joke

Spider Using A Computer Joke

Trump Locked Out Of White House Joke.

A Trip To The Store With Grandpa

Farmer Needs New Cows

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