The Joker

Question 1

Did You Know Alligator Vs Crocodile Joke

Did you know? You can distinguish between an alligator and a crocodile by paying attention to whether the animal sees you later or after a while.

Question 2

Zoo With No Dogs Joke

What do you call a zoo with no dogs?

Question 3

Mom's Lunch Joke

What kind of lunch do moms never prepare in the morning?

Question 4

What's A Snake Favorite Subject Kids Joke

What's a snake favorite school subject?

Question 5

Theatrical Puns

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Question 6

I'm Crazy Joke

I just asked myself if I'm crazy. We said no.

Question 7

Talking Lights Joke

What did one light say to the other light?

Question 8

You Like My Smile

A man and a woman were traveling on a train. Woman, "Every time you smile I feel like inviting you over to my place." Man, "Aww are you single?" Woman, "No, I'm a dentist."

Question 9

1st Day As A CSI

Detective: How did this man drown?

Question 10

Lawyer And The Stop Sign Joke

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he's smarter being a big-shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than a sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, "What for?" The sheriff responds, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign." The lawyer says, "I slowed down and no one was coming." "You still didn't come to a complete stop. License and registration please," say the sheriff impatiently. The lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration and you can give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket." The sheriff says, "That sounds fair, please exit your vehicle." The lawyer steps out and the sheriff takes out his nightstick and starts beating the lawyer with it. The sheriff says, "Now tell me, do you want me to stop or just slow down?"

Question 11

Don't Drink And Drive Joke

Cop, "What's in the bottle." Lady, "Just water." Cop, "Ma'am that's wine!" Lady, "OMG, Jesus did it again!"

Question 12

Inviting A Friend To Dinner Joke

Roger brings his buddy home to dinner without telling his wife. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just has to sit there and listen. Wife: "I look a mess, the house is dirty, the sink is full of dirty dishes, I'm wearing my comfy sweats and I don't have anything to make and I don't feel like cooking tonight! Why the hell would you bring him home?" Roger: "Because, he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo"

Question 13

Daylight Saving Time

Clocks are supposed to fall back on Nov. 1st. Think I'll set mine forward at least two months because nobody wants to fall back in 2020.

Question 14

A Weasel Walked Into A Bar

Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!

Question 15

Wisdom Comes With Age Joke

As you get older, you'll realize that a $300 watch and a $30 watch both tell the same time. A Micheal Kors wallet and a Forever 21 wallet hold the same amount of money. A $300,000 house and a $100,000 house host the same loneliness. A Ford will drive you as far as a Bentley. True happiness is not found in materialistic things, it comes from the love and laughter found with each other. Stay humble... the holes dug for us in the ground are the same size.

Question 16

Trees Poop Joke

How do we know that trees poop?

Question 17

Condensation In Home Joke

Does anyone know how to stop condensation in my home? Please call, the kettle is always on.

Question 18

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

Why did the author put on a sweater?

Question 19

Cat For Christmas Joke

My kids say they want a cat for Christmas. Normally, I do a turkey but hey, if it will make them happy...

Question 20

Wine Question

Friend, "On average, how much do you spend on a bottle of wine?

Question 21

Marshmallow Dream Joke

Last night dreamt I was eating giant marshmallows. When I woke up this morning my pillows were gone.

Question 22

French Stubbed Toe Joke

When French people stub their toe, do they say "Ow-Oui"?

Question 23

Sex Life Joke

This guy was having trouble with his sex life so his doctor suggested he try jogging 10 miles a day. He called his doctor a week later and when asked about how his sex life is going he answered "How would I know Doc... I'm 70 miles from home."

Question 24

Another Personal Trainer Joke

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough... I've just handed in my TOO WEAK notice!

Question 25

Human Intelligence

So somewhere out in space two alien life forms are talking with each other. The first one says "The dominant life forms on the planet earth have developed satellite-based nuclear weapons "The second one asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first alien replies, " I don't think so. they have them aimed at themselves!".

Question 26

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Question 27

Irish Jesus Joke

Why wasn’t Jesus born in Ireland?

Question 28

Left Side Cut Off Joke

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?

Question 29

PhD In Dad Jokes

What does it take to get a PhD in Dad Jokes?

Question 30

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Tweety: knock knock. Sylvester: Who's there? Tweety: Gladys. Sylvester: Gladys who? Tweety: Gladys you and not that awful puddy tat!

The Joker

Did You Know Alligator Vs Crocodile Joke

Zoo With No Dogs Joke

Mom's Lunch Joke

What's A Snake Favorite Subject Kids Joke

Theatrical Puns

I'm Crazy Joke

Talking Lights Joke

You Like My Smile

1st Day As A CSI

Lawyer And The Stop Sign Joke

Don't Drink And Drive Joke

Inviting A Friend To Dinner Joke

Daylight Saving Time

A Weasel Walked Into A Bar

Wisdom Comes With Age Joke

Trees Poop Joke

Condensation In Home Joke

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

Cat For Christmas Joke

Wine Question

Marshmallow Dream Joke

French Stubbed Toe Joke

Sex Life Joke

Another Personal Trainer Joke

Human Intelligence

Art Museum Joke

Irish Jesus Joke

Left Side Cut Off Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Tweety Bird Knock Knock Joke

Joke Categories

SHARE THIS?

Newsletter

Contributors