The Joker

Question 1

Declaration Of Independence Joke

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

Question 2

Theatrical Puns

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Question 3

Class Trip Pun

Class trip to Coca-Cola. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Question 4

Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe Joke

Why was the old woman forced to live in a shoe?

Question 5

I'm Crazy Joke

I just asked myself if I'm crazy. We said no.

Question 6

Caught Sleeping On The Job

If you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say "In Jesus Name, Amen"

Question 7

Ex Wife Dress Joke

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. ”Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it,” she replied. Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ”Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress. After all, it’s your special day.” A few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ”Aren’t you going to return the other dress? You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it.” Her mother just smiled and replied, ”Of course I do, dear……I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding.”

Question 8

Rodent Repellent Joke

Has anyone else used WD40 to get rid of mice?

Question 9

Talking Lights Joke

What did one light say to the other light?

Question 10

Husband's Birthday

A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday... At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how are you?" The wife asks, "How does he know you?" Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the bartender says, "The usual, Jim?" Jim says to his wife, "Before you say anything, he's on the darts team." Next, a stripper says, "Hi Jim! Do you crave the special again?" The wife storms out dragon Jim with her and jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver says, "Hey Jimmy Boy, you picked up an ugly one this time!..." Jim's funeral is Sunday!

Question 11

Dubai Abu Dhabi Difference Joke

What is the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi?

Question 12

Inviting A Friend To Dinner Joke

Roger brings his buddy home to dinner without telling his wife. His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just has to sit there and listen. Wife: "I look a mess, the house is dirty, the sink is full of dirty dishes, I'm wearing my comfy sweats and I don't have anything to make and I don't feel like cooking tonight! Why the hell would you bring him home?" Roger: "Because, he's thinking of getting married and I promised him a demo"

Question 13

Hold Water Joke

Someone asked me to name two structures that hold water. I was like well damn.

Question 14

A Weasel Walked Into A Bar

Did you hear about the weasel that walked into a bar in Minnesota? The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" "Pop" goes the weasel!

Question 15

What Do You Get If You Are Allergic To Noodles?

What do you get if you are allergic to noodles?

Question 16

Condensation In Home Joke

Does anyone know how to stop condensation in my home? Please call, the kettle is always on.

Question 17

Why Did The Dragon Sleep All Day?

Why did the dragon sleep all day?

Question 18

Best Irish Toast Joke

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me Life, between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".

Question 19

Wine Question

Friend, "On average, how much do you spend on a bottle of wine?

Question 20

Steal A Coat Joke

How do you steal a coat?

Question 21

Sex Life Joke

This guy was having trouble with his sex life so his doctor suggested he try jogging 10 miles a day. He called his doctor a week later and when asked about how his sex life is going he answered "How would I know Doc... I'm 70 miles from home."

Question 22

Trick Or Treating With Twin Witches Joke

What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?

Question 23

Redneck Face Mask

You might be a redneck if?

Question 24

What Would Jesus Do?

I found $20 in a parking lot and thought to myself, What would Jesus do?

Question 25

Final Memory Joke

Your final memory will be going down a dark tunnel with a light at the end... That's my earliest memory too!

Question 26

Another Personal Trainer Joke

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough... I've just handed in my TOO WEAK notice!

Question 27

Ohno Bird Joke

Did you ever hear about the Ohno bird? It has two-inch long legs and a four-inch cock. Every time he lands you can hear him say "ohno ohno"

Question 28

Quiet Dog Joke

What do you give your dog when you want it to be quiet?

Question 29

Dog Zoo Joke

Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?

Question 30

Science Book Joke

Why were the two science books holding hands?

The Joker

Declaration Of Independence Joke

Theatrical Puns

Class Trip Pun

Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe Joke

I'm Crazy Joke

Caught Sleeping On The Job

Ex Wife Dress Joke

Rodent Repellent Joke

Talking Lights Joke

Husband's Birthday

Dubai Abu Dhabi Difference Joke

Inviting A Friend To Dinner Joke

Hold Water Joke

A Weasel Walked Into A Bar

What Do You Get If You Are Allergic To Noodles?

Condensation In Home Joke

Why Did The Dragon Sleep All Day?

Best Irish Toast Joke

Wine Question

Steal A Coat Joke

Sex Life Joke

Trick Or Treating With Twin Witches Joke

Redneck Face Mask

What Would Jesus Do?

Final Memory Joke

Another Personal Trainer Joke

Ohno Bird Joke

Quiet Dog Joke

Dog Zoo Joke

Science Book Joke

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