The Joker

Question 1

French Stubbed Toe Joke

When French people stub their toe, do they say "Ow-Oui"?

Question 2

How To Win Powerball

After losing in last night's Powerball, I've decided to declare myselft the winner and to file lawsuits until I win!

Question 3

Monsters Favorite Play Joke

What's a monster's favorite play?

Question 4

Redneck Face Mask

You might be a redneck if?

Question 5

Another Personal Trainer Joke

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough... I've just handed in my TOO WEAK notice!

Question 6

Mindreaders

Here's a question for all you mindreader's out there.

Question 7

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Since Mary is the mother of Jesus and Jesus is the lamb of God... Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?

Question 8

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Question 9

Left Side Cut Off Joke

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?

Question 10

Every Day Is A Gift Joke

If each day is a gift, can we get a refund on the shitty ones?

Question 11

PhD In Dad Jokes

What does it take to get a PhD in Dad Jokes?

Question 12

Laughing Dog Joke

What type a dog laughs at every joke?

Question 13

Boxed Wine

I'm thinking about taking the wine box back to complain. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, it only lasted me 3 hours!

Question 14

Best Selling Book

In the US, a book titled: "How to change your wife in 30 days", sold 50 million copies in one week, before the author discovered that the title had a spelling error! The correct title was: "How to change your life in 30 days". After the correction, for a whole month, one 2 copies were sold.

Question 15

PMS Pun

PMS jokes aren't funny. Period!

Question 16

Dinosaur Pun

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?

Question 17

Wife Horoscope

A married man's honest confession... "I always read my wife's horoscope to see what kind of day I was going to have."

Question 18

Idiocracy Frito Quote

For the smartest guy in the world, you're pretty dumb sometimes. - Frito

Question 19

Husband's Birthday

A wife treats her husband by taking him to a strip club for his birthday... At the club, the doorman says, "Hi Jim, how are you?" The wife asks, "How does he know you?" Jim says, "Oh dear, I play football with him." Inside the bartender says, "The usual, Jim?" Jim says to his wife, "Before you say anything, he's on the darts team." Next, a stripper says, "Hi Jim! Do you crave the special again?" The wife storms out dragon Jim with her and jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver says, "Hey Jimmy Boy, you picked up an ugly one this time!..." Jim's funeral is Sunday!

Question 20

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 AM. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, "How am I supposed to know? We're 200 miles inland!" and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, "Sweetheart, who was that?" "I don’t know, some dumb woman asking if the coast is clear."

Question 21

Fireman Joke

Little old lady calls the fire department, screams, come quick, my house is on fire! Man says, how do we get there? She says, don't y'all still have those big red trucks?

Question 22

Another COVID Joke

I went outside to check on my plants. I felt something cold and wet on my arm. I looked down and say a mosquito using a wet wipe before it bit me!

Question 23

Why Do You Still Carry A Comb?

I shaved my head when I started going bald years ago, but I still carry a comb... I just can’t part with it.

Question 24

Time To Stop Drinking Wine Joke

You know when it's time to cut back on you're wine intake when your doctor tells you, "Your blood type is Chardonn-A positive."

Question 25

Wine Workout

Did you know that fourteen muscles are activated when you open a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion.

Question 26

Good Signs

A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness, and a friend like me, well, that's a sign of good taste.

Question 27

Female Pharmacist

A man enters a pharmacy and quietly walks around for a minute or two, then finally approaches the lady behind the counter. "May I speak to the pharmacist, please?", he asks. The lady responds, "I am the pharmacist." The man asks if there is a male pharmacist, and the lady pharmacist responds, "No, but please don't be concerned, I have been a pharmacist, and my sister and I have owned this pharmacy, for many years, and there is nothing you could ask that would be embarrassing to us. "Well . . ", the man hesitantly says, "I have this problem . . . I have a perpetual erection, and I was wondering what you could give me for it." The pharmacist responds, "Let me discuss this with my sister, I'll be back in a couple of minutes." After a few minutes, the pharmacist returns and says, "My sister and I have given it much thought and have decided that the best we could do is $20,000 and half of the business."

Question 28

Santa Claus Pun

I never really believed in Santa, always was a rebel without a claus.

Question 29

Alexa Knows

"Alexa, where's my dad?" Alexa, "Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas." "Ha! Gotcha, my dad is sitting right next to me." Alexa, "Your mom's husband is sitting right next to you. Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas."

Question 30

Quarantine

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

The Joker

French Stubbed Toe Joke

How To Win Powerball

Monsters Favorite Play Joke

Redneck Face Mask

Another Personal Trainer Joke

Mindreaders

Mother Of Jesus Joke

Art Museum Joke

Left Side Cut Off Joke

Every Day Is A Gift Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Laughing Dog Joke

Boxed Wine

Best Selling Book

PMS Pun

Dinosaur Pun

Wife Horoscope

Idiocracy Frito Quote

Husband's Birthday

Phone Call In Middle Of The Night Joke

Fireman Joke

Another COVID Joke

Why Do You Still Carry A Comb?

Time To Stop Drinking Wine Joke

Wine Workout

Good Signs

Female Pharmacist

Santa Claus Pun

Alexa Knows

Quarantine

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