The Joker

Question 1

Quarantine

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

Question 2

Another Personal Trainer Joke

I've decided to quit my job as a personal trainer because I'm not big enough or strong enough... I've just handed in my TOO WEAK notice!

Question 3

The Long Drive

It was a sunny Saturday morning and Brian was beginning his pre-shot routine -- visualizing his upcoming shot -- when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker: "Would the gentleman on the ladies tee back up to the men's tee, please!" Brian was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement: "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up the men's tee!" Brian had had enough. He shouted, "Would the announcer in the clubhouse kindly shut up and let me play my second shot!"

Question 4

Dog Zoo Joke

Did you hear about the zoo where the only exhibit was a dog?

Question 5

Science Book Joke

Why were the two science books holding hands?

Question 6

PhD In Dad Jokes

What does it take to get a PhD in Dad Jokes?

Question 7

Egg On The Barn Joke

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

Question 8

Sheep Vacation Destination Joke

Where do sheep go on vacation?

Question 9

Religious Right?

The religious right is neither.

Question 10

Rut Vs Grave

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Question 11

Best Selling Book

In the US, a book titled: "How to change your wife in 30 days", sold 50 million copies in one week, before the author discovered that the title had a spelling error! The correct title was: "How to change your life in 30 days". After the correction, for a whole month, one 2 copies were sold.

Question 12

Pizza Joke

I have a joke about pizza... It's a little cheesy!

Question 13

Indian Pun

Why were the Indians here first?

Question 14

Wife Horoscope

A married man's honest confession... "I always read my wife's horoscope to see what kind of day I was going to have."

Question 15

Idiocracy Frito Quote

For the smartest guy in the world, you're pretty dumb sometimes. - Frito

Question 16

Weed And Books

If you smoke weed, you get high. If you read books, you get educated. If you do both, you get highly educated.

Question 17

You Like My Smile

A man and a woman were traveling on a train. Woman, "Every time you smile I feel like inviting you over to my place." Man, "Aww are you single?" Woman, "No, I'm a dentist."

Question 18

1st Day As A CSI

Detective: How did this man drown?

Question 19

Fireman Joke

Little old lady calls the fire department, screams, come quick, my house is on fire! Man says, how do we get there? She says, don't y'all still have those big red trucks?

Question 20

Wisdom Comes With Age Joke

As you get older, you'll realize that a $300 watch and a $30 watch both tell the same time. A Micheal Kors wallet and a Forever 21 wallet hold the same amount of money. A $300,000 house and a $100,000 house host the same loneliness. A Ford will drive you as far as a Bentley. True happiness is not found in materialistic things, it comes from the love and laughter found with each other. Stay humble... the holes dug for us in the ground are the same size.

Question 21

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

Why did the author put on a sweater?

Question 22

Time To Stop Drinking Wine Joke

You know when it's time to cut back on you're wine intake when your doctor tells you, "Your blood type is Chardonn-A positive."

Question 23

French Stubbed Toe Joke

When French people stub their toe, do they say "Ow-Oui"?

Question 24

How To Win Powerball

After losing in last night's Powerball, I've decided to declare myselft the winner and to file lawsuits until I win!

Question 25

Art Museum Joke

Why did the art thief's van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?

Question 26

Left Side Cut Off Joke

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?

Question 27

Every Day Is A Gift Joke

If each day is a gift, can we get a refund on the shitty ones?

Question 28

Paleontologists Joke

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur tibia... It's going to be quite the dinosaur shin-dig.

Question 29

Laughing Dog Joke

What type a dog laughs at every joke?

Question 30

Happy Dwarf Joke

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

The Joker

Quarantine

Another Personal Trainer Joke

The Long Drive

Dog Zoo Joke

Science Book Joke

PhD In Dad Jokes

Egg On The Barn Joke

Sheep Vacation Destination Joke

Religious Right?

Rut Vs Grave

Best Selling Book

Pizza Joke

Indian Pun

Wife Horoscope

Idiocracy Frito Quote

Weed And Books

You Like My Smile

1st Day As A CSI

Fireman Joke

Wisdom Comes With Age Joke

Why Did The Author Put On A Sweater?

Time To Stop Drinking Wine Joke

French Stubbed Toe Joke

How To Win Powerball

Art Museum Joke

Left Side Cut Off Joke

Every Day Is A Gift Joke

Paleontologists Joke

Laughing Dog Joke

Happy Dwarf Joke

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