The Joker

Question 1

How To Get A Good Price On A Sled Joke

Question 2

Dracula Halloween Joke

Why is Dracula so easy to trick on Halloween?

Question 3

Trying New Positions

Wife, "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Husband, "Excellent idea!" Wife, "Ok, you stand at the sink and wash the dishes and I'll be on the couch and watching tv."

Question 4

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Question 5

Orchestra Joke

I told my son he couldn't watch the orchestra anymore and he asked why? Because there's too much sax and violins!

Question 6

What Came First?

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Question 7

Elements Joke

How often do you like jokes about elements?

Question 8

Cookie Doctor Joke

When does a cookie go to see a doctor?

Question 9

Balloon Music Joke

What type of music are balloons afraid of?

Question 10

Tennessee And Arkansas

What did Tennessee?

Question 11

Skeleton Dance Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Question 12

Numbers Joke

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Question 13

Corduroy Pillow Pun

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? They're really making headlines.

Question 14

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Who hides in the bakery at christmas?

Question 15

Doctors And Lawyers Coke Joke

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes, and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said, " I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

Question 16

Bowl Of Pretzels Pun

This guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're really good looking." The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels and orders a beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a beer, great choice." Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!" the bartender replies "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary."

Question 17

Guy Fell Into A Well Joke

Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? It turns out he couldn't see that well.

Question 18

Gardening Season Joke

It's gardening season. 6 weeks ago I planted my arse on the sofa. It's grown considerably

Question 19

A Native American Psychiatrist Pun

A Native American goes to see his psychiatrist about the dreams he is having. After describing that one is about teepees and the other is about wigwams the psychiatrist tells him he knows what the problem is and tells him "you must be two tents".

Question 20

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Question 21

Gold Digger Joke

A 65 year old millionaire has married a beautiful 23 old model, You crafty old devil, says his friend, How did you manage to get a lovely wife like that? Easy, replies the millionaire, I told her I was 95...

Question 22

Wife And A Hand Grenade

What does your wife and a hand grenade have in common?

Question 23

Book Fell On My Head Joke

Yesterday a book fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame.

Question 24

Best Dancing Cow Joke

Which cow is the best dancer?

Question 25

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

A honeymooning couple was passing through Louisiana. When they were approaching Lafayette, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch. As they stood at the counter, the man said, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are?" The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, "Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing"

Question 26

#BusinessJokes

An old man is selling watermelons. His pricelist reads 1 for $3, 3 for $10. A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. "That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man. The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each. As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing." The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

Question 27

Safety Meeting Joke

There was a safety meeting at work today. They asked me, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "Big Ones" was the wrong answer.

Question 28

Banker Joke

A banker gets into a car accident. He was driving his Ferrari, stopped, opened his door, and another car zoomed by, hit and ripped off the door. The banker jumps out of the car and shouts, "My Ferrari! My Ferrari!" A man is passing by and notes, "You bankers. You're all about money. You're worried about your Ferrari and not even noticing that your arm was ripped off along with that door." The banker looks at his missing arm and shouts, "My Rolex! My Rolex!!"

Question 29

Divorce Settlement

"Mr. Smith, I reviewed your divorce cases very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "And, I have decided to give your wife $7500 a month." "That's very fair your honor." the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

Question 30

That's Life Joke

We are born naked, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.

The Joker

How To Get A Good Price On A Sled Joke

Dracula Halloween Joke

Trying New Positions

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Orchestra Joke

What Came First?

Elements Joke

Cookie Doctor Joke

Balloon Music Joke

Tennessee And Arkansas

Skeleton Dance Joke

Numbers Joke

Corduroy Pillow Pun

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Doctors And Lawyers Coke Joke

Bowl Of Pretzels Pun

Guy Fell Into A Well Joke

Gardening Season Joke

A Native American Psychiatrist Pun

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

Gold Digger Joke

Wife And A Hand Grenade

Book Fell On My Head Joke

Best Dancing Cow Joke

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

#BusinessJokes

Safety Meeting Joke

Banker Joke

Divorce Settlement

That's Life Joke

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