The Joker

Question 1

Dachshund And The Cowboy Pun

Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? So he could get a long little doggie.

Question 2

Box Of Tampons Joke

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?' The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four "Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin. "Yeah." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you can swim, play tennis and even ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

Question 3

Thin Line Joke

There is a thin line between a numerator and a denominator... And only a fraction of people can understand that.

Question 4

Road Worker Stealing Pun

I never really wanted to believe that my friend, a road worker, was stealing from his job but when I went to his house there they were. I should have known, all the signs were right there.

Question 5

Guy Fell Into A Well Joke

Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? It turns out he couldn't see that well.

Question 6

An Irishman Walks Into A Bar Joke

An Irishman walks into a bar and orders 3 pints of Guinness. He then proceeds to take a sip from the first, then a sip from the second, then a sip from the third, and starts again with a sip from the first, then second, and on. The bartender asks what he was up to, and he replied "I have 2 brothers, one lives in New York and one in Sydney, and since I can’t drink with them, I order 3 pints of Guinness and take a sip in turn from each one; and they also do the same in New York and Sydney" So each day the Irishman would come into the bar, order his 3 pints of Guinness and everyone got to know his story. One day, he walks in and orders only 2 pints of Guinness… The bar goes silent. Finally, the bartender approaches him and says "On behalf of everyone at the bar, I want to extend our condolences on the passing of your brother…" The Irishman replied, "Oh, no, it’s not that!! I just gave up drinking."

Question 7

Definition Of A Stalker

The definition of a stalker is when two people go on a long romantic walk together but only one really knows about it.

Question 8

Gardening Season Joke

It's gardening season. 6 weeks ago I planted my arse on the sofa. It's grown considerably

Question 9

A Native American Psychiatrist Pun

A Native American goes to see his psychiatrist about the dreams he is having. After describing that one is about teepees and the other is about wigwams the psychiatrist tells him he knows what the problem is and tells him "you must be two tents".

Question 10

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Question 11

Gold Digger Joke

A 65 year old millionaire has married a beautiful 23 old model, You crafty old devil, says his friend, How did you manage to get a lovely wife like that? Easy, replies the millionaire, I told her I was 95...

Question 12

A Blonde Prays To Win The Lottery Joke

A broke blonde decides to ask God for help. "Dear Lord," she prays, "if I don't get some cash, I’m gonna lose everything. Please let me win the lottery." Lottery night comes, but the blonde doesn't win. She prays even harder, saying, "God, why have you forsaken me? My children are starving. Please just let me win this once." Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light, and the blonde hears God speak. "Sweetheart, work with me on this," he says. "Buy a ticket."

Question 13

Rasin Date Joke

Why did the raisin go out with the prune?

Question 14

Best Dancing Cow Joke

Which cow is the best dancer?

Question 15

If You Love Someone Joke

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it means nobody else wanted them. Set them free again.

Question 16

Cookie Meat Joke

I tried Wookie meat... It was Chewy.

Question 17

Caveman Valentine’s Day

What does a caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Question 18

Religion Vs Science

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father replied, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies of their own, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said. "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Question 19

An Avocado In Church Joke

What do you call an avocado in church?

Question 20

Pastry Chef Love Joke

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?

Question 21

Bosses And Diapers

Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!

Question 22

Cook An Alligator Joke

What's the best way to cook an alligator?

Question 23

Hot Or Cold Joke

What’s faster hot or cold?

Question 24

New Salesmen Joke

A young guy from Newfoundland moves to British Columbia and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Newfoundland." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our salespeople average sales of 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Vancouver. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Newfoundland, but you're not on the farm anymore, son." The kid took his beating but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kind of bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65.′′ The boss, astonished, says, "$101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"

Question 25

Lazy Dog

Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it "Selective Participation".

Question 26

Women Have Small Feet

Why do women have small feet?

Question 27

Baby Birth Joke

How did the baby know it was ready to be born?

Question 28

Comedic Dreams

Always wanted to be a comedian but everyone just laughed at me!

Question 29

4th Of July Duck Joke

What do you call a duck on the 4th of July?

Question 30

Astronaut Baby Joke

How do you get an astronaut baby to sleep?

The Joker

Dachshund And The Cowboy Pun

Box Of Tampons Joke

Thin Line Joke

Road Worker Stealing Pun

Guy Fell Into A Well Joke

An Irishman Walks Into A Bar Joke

Definition Of A Stalker

Gardening Season Joke

A Native American Psychiatrist Pun

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

Gold Digger Joke

A Blonde Prays To Win The Lottery Joke

Rasin Date Joke

Best Dancing Cow Joke

If You Love Someone Joke

Cookie Meat Joke

Caveman Valentine’s Day

Religion Vs Science

An Avocado In Church Joke

Pastry Chef Love Joke

Bosses And Diapers

Cook An Alligator Joke

Hot Or Cold Joke

New Salesmen Joke

Lazy Dog

Women Have Small Feet

Baby Birth Joke

Comedic Dreams

4th Of July Duck Joke

Astronaut Baby Joke

Joke Categories

SHARE THIS?

Newsletter

Contributors