The Joker

Question 1

Baby Shark Joke

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Question 2

Unbelievable

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Question 3

Beethoven's Chickens

Why did Beethoven get rid of all his chickens?

Question 4

Pregnancy Test

I was shopping in a large pharmacy and asked one of the wandering assistants, "Excuse me, where can I find a pregnancy test?" "No problem," he said. "They're right beside the condoms." I said, "Id I knew where the condoms were I wouldn't need a pregnancy test."

Question 5

Tiny Surfer Joke

What kind of wave do tiny surfers ride?

Question 6

Strip Down Joke

The cashier told me, "Strip down facing me". By the time I realized they meant the debit card, it was too late.

Question 7

Horny Talking Frog Joke

What does a horny frog say?

Question 8

Don't Listen Joke

Never let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. Just look at Beethoven. Everyone told him he would never be a musician, just because he was deaf. But, did he listen?

Question 9

Don't Correct A Fool

Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you.

Question 10

Left My Girlfriend Joke

I left my ex-girlfriend because she wouldn't stop counting.....I wonder what she's up to now?

Question 11

Easter Egg Joke

Easter egg hunts are proof kids can find things if they really want to.

Question 12

Throwing Rice Pun

Me & my mates were at an Indian restaurant & some guys started throwing rice at us. So we threw rice back at them....We had a pilau fight.

Question 13

Why Do Ilegal Immigrants Like Climate Change Joke

Why do illegal immigrants like climate change?

Question 14

Highlighter Joke

I'm going to start collecting highlighters... mark my words!

Question 15

Two Little People Walk Into A Mini Bar Joke

Two little people walk into a mini bar...

Question 16

A Farmers Daughter Joke

A farmer drove to his neighbor's house and knocked on the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. "Is your dad home?", asked the farmer. "No, they went to town.", the boy answered. How about your brother, Howard? asked the farmer. "No, he went to town with mom and dad.", answered the boy. The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy said, "I know where all the tools are if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message." "Well", said the farmer uncomfortably. "No, I really want to talk to your dad about your brother Howard getting my daughter pregnant." The boy thought for a moment, then said, "You'll have to talk to my dad about that. I know he charged $500 for bulls and $150 for pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard."

Question 17

Is Your Mom Home?

A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares. As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a small boy sitting on the front steps. "Is your mother home?" the salesman asked the small boy. "Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him past. The salesman rang the doorbell, got no response, knocked once, then again. Still, no one came to the door. Turning to the boy, the fellow said, "I thought you said your mother was home?!" The kid replied, "She is, but this isn't where I live."

Question 18

Get Thinner Joke

I went to the paint store to get thinner. It didn't work!

Question 19

Men Are Like Shoe Laces

Men are like shoelaces, they go through many holes before they tie the knot.

Question 20

Nursing Home Joke

Three men were discussing aging at the nursing home. Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60- year-old. You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all." "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble having a bowel movement?" "No, I have one every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and poop every morning at 6:30. So what’s so tough about being 80?" "I don't wake up until 7:00."

Question 21

Beefstew Password

Apparently you can't use "Beefstew" as a password... It's not stroganoff.

Question 22

Which Witch Watch Halloween Joke

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch?

Question 23

Grandma On Speed Dial

I put grandma on speed dial and now I have Insta-Gram!

Question 24

Woman And Men Joke

Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men actually spend thinking.

Question 25

It's All In Your Head Joke

Your mind is a garden. Your thoughts are the seeds. You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds!

Question 26

Hitchhiker Joke

Picked up a hitchhiker. Seemed like a nice guy. After a few miles, he asked me if I wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer? I told him the odds of two serial killer being in the same car were extremely unlikely.

Question 27

Mothers Group Therapy Session Joke

A Psychiatrist conducted a group therapy session with 4 mothers. "You all have obsessions," he says. To the 1st mother, he says, "You are obsessed with eating, & even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the 2nd Mother, "You're obsessed with w/money, and you named your child Penny." He turns to the 3rd Mother, "Your obsession is alcohol, & you named your child Brandy." At this point, the 4th mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand & whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving!"

Question 28

Fear Of Speed Bumps

I have a fear of speed bumps... I'm slowly getting over it.

Question 29

Two Brooms Getting Married Joke

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while, they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom and the other the groom broom. The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress. The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely. After the wedding, at the wedding giddier, the bride broom leaned over and said to the groom broom, "I think I am going to have a little broom." "Impossible!" said the groom broom. "We haven't even swept together yet!"

Question 30

Serving Size

I was born a boy, but according to Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, I am a family of four.

The Joker

Baby Shark Joke

Unbelievable

Beethoven's Chickens

Pregnancy Test

Tiny Surfer Joke

Strip Down Joke

Horny Talking Frog Joke

Don't Listen Joke

Don't Correct A Fool

Left My Girlfriend Joke

Easter Egg Joke

Throwing Rice Pun

Why Do Ilegal Immigrants Like Climate Change Joke

Highlighter Joke

Two Little People Walk Into A Mini Bar Joke

A Farmers Daughter Joke

Is Your Mom Home?

Get Thinner Joke

Men Are Like Shoe Laces

Nursing Home Joke

Beefstew Password

Which Witch Watch Halloween Joke

Grandma On Speed Dial

Woman And Men Joke

It's All In Your Head Joke

Hitchhiker Joke

Mothers Group Therapy Session Joke

Fear Of Speed Bumps

Two Brooms Getting Married Joke

Serving Size

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