The Joker

Question 1

Never Tell A Lie Joke

A kid keeps lying to his father so the dad buys a lie detector robot who will slap him if he tells a lie. The next morning the father asks his son where he was the night before. "I was at Joeys house doing my homework" The robot slaps him. His dad says that was a lie and asks what was he really doing. The kid says "we were watching Toy Story" and he gets slapped again. When he asks again what were you really doing, the kid admits they were watching porn. "See when you tell the truth you won't get slapped". The dad then says "when we were kids we didn't even have porn" The robot then slaps the father. The mom laughs and says" well he is you kid after all". So the robot slaps the mom.

Question 2

Irish Furniture Pun

Who is Irish and sits outside all day?

Question 3

Family Tree Joke

If I shook your family tree, how many nuts would fall out?

Question 4

An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis", he replied. The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" “There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't pee out of it," he replied......... The waiting room erupted in laughter!

Question 5

Valentines Day Joke

What did one penny say to the other penny on Valentine's day?

Question 6

Guy With No Arms And No Legs, In A Pot Of Boiling Water Joke

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, in a pot of boiling water?

Question 7

Book Fell On My Head Joke

Yesterday a book fell on my head... I only have my shelf to blame.

Question 8

Tweety Bird Hospital Joke

Why did the Tweety bird go the hospital?

Question 9

Football Player Who Likes Dad Jokes

What do you call a football player that likes dad jokes?

Question 10

Christmas Is Cancelled Joke

Did you hear Christmas has been canceled? Apparently, Santa is in jail. He was caught last year laying a doll under a tree.

Question 11

Two Elephants Swimming Joke

Why did the two elephants decide not to go swimming together?

Question 12

Horse Sport Joke

What sport do horses like playing the most?

Question 13

Worse Than Raining Cats And Dogs Joke

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Question 14

Candy Under Pillow Joke

Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Question 15

#BusinessJokes

An old man is selling watermelons. His pricelist reads 1 for $3, 3 for $10. A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. "That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man. The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each. As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing." The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

Question 16

Stegosauruses Joke

Why are stegosauruses, such good volleyball players?

Question 17

No Vacation This Year.

I just told my suitcase that we're not going on vacation this year. Now I'm dealing with emotional baggage.

Question 18

Banker Joke

A banker gets into a car accident. He was driving his Ferrari, stopped, opened his door, and another car zoomed by, hit and ripped off the door. The banker jumps out of the car and shouts, "My Ferrari! My Ferrari!" A man is passing by and notes, "You bankers. You're all about money. You're worried about your Ferrari and not even noticing that your arm was ripped off along with that door." The banker looks at his missing arm and shouts, "My Rolex! My Rolex!!"

Question 19

That's Life Joke

We are born naked, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.

Question 20

Cook An Alligator Joke

What's the best way to cook an alligator?

Question 21

A New Parents Favorite Christmas Carol Joke

What is my mommy and daddy’s favorite Christmas carol?

Question 22

Dog Flower Vegetable Joke

What do you get when you cross a dog, a flower and a vegetable?

Question 23

Exersize And Life Expectancy

Rabbits jump and the live for an average of 8 years. Dog's run and they live for an average of 15 years. Turtles do nothing and can live for over 15o years... Lesson learned.

Question 24

Only One Yogi Bear Joke

Why did god make only one Yogi Bear?

Question 25

Frog Parking Only

What happens when a frog illegally parks?

Question 26

Carbs Are The Enemy

Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

Question 27

Astronauts Feet Joke

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?

Question 28

Leftover Bacon?

Someone asked me what to do with leftover bacon. I've never heard of that kind of bacon.

Question 29

Minneapolis Joke

We all know where the Big Apple is, but does anyone know where the Minneapolis?

Question 30

Women Have Small Feet

Why do women have small feet?

The Joker

Never Tell A Lie Joke

Irish Furniture Pun

Family Tree Joke

An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke

Valentines Day Joke

Guy With No Arms And No Legs, In A Pot Of Boiling Water Joke

Book Fell On My Head Joke

Tweety Bird Hospital Joke

Football Player Who Likes Dad Jokes

Christmas Is Cancelled Joke

Two Elephants Swimming Joke

Horse Sport Joke

Worse Than Raining Cats And Dogs Joke

Candy Under Pillow Joke

#BusinessJokes

Stegosauruses Joke

No Vacation This Year.

Banker Joke

That's Life Joke

Cook An Alligator Joke

A New Parents Favorite Christmas Carol Joke

Dog Flower Vegetable Joke

Exersize And Life Expectancy

Only One Yogi Bear Joke

Frog Parking Only

Carbs Are The Enemy

Astronauts Feet Joke

Leftover Bacon?

Minneapolis Joke

Women Have Small Feet

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