The Joker

Question 1

Corporate Hierarchy Joke

A corporation is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. Some monkeys are climbing up, some down. The monkeys on the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a$$holes!

Question 2

Marriage And Math Joke

A wife finds a note from her husband on the fridge one morning. My dear wife. You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you being 57 years old can no longer satisfy am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this letter I hope that you will not wrongfully interpret the fact that l will be spending the evening with my 19-year-old secretary at the comfort inn hotel. Please don’t be upset-l shall be home before midnight. When the man came home late that night he found the following note on the dining table. My dear husband I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about me being 57 years old I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old As you know am a math teacher at our local college I would like to inform you that while you read this l will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael one of my students who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young virile and like your secretary is 19 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation although with one small difference 19 goes into 57 more times than 57 goes into 19. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Question 3

Hotel Restaurant Joke

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her. "This is so embarrassing." the woman says, and she popped her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods. The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming women I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Question 4

Does Anyone Know CPR?

I was drinking a margarita at a bar when a waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet!" and we all laughed and laughed. Well. except one guy.

Question 5

Weight Loss Joke

I'll tell you why I can't lose weight... I've got metal fillings in my teeth and the refrigerator magnets keep pulling me into the kitchen.

Question 6

Diabetic Blonde

What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?

Question 7

Menopause Joke

It's called menopause for a reason. Men should pause before they speak.

Question 8

Talking To Myself Joke

If you see me talking to myself, just move along. I'm self-employed and we're having a staff meeting.

Question 9

How To Get A Good Price On A Sled Joke

How do you get a good price on a sled?

Question 10

Leather And Sounds Like A Sneeze Joke

What is made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

Question 11

Take Your Kid To Work Day Joke

An eight-year-old girl went to the office with her dad on "Take your kid to work day." As they were walking around the office, the young girl started crying and getting very cranky. He father asked what was wrong with her. As the staff gathered around, she sobbed loudly; "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you worked with?"

Question 12

Walk A Mile In Their Shoes Joke

Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes first. That way if you do criticize them you will be a mile away and have their shoes.

Question 13

Frisbee Pun

I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger….then it hit me

Question 14

Did You Hear About The Kidnapping At The School Joke

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the School?

Question 15

Dracula Halloween Joke

Why is Dracula so easy to trick on Halloween?

Question 16

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Why are ghosts bad liars?

Question 17

Axe Pun

Two guys got into a fight on the bus here yesterday and one of the guys threw a hatchet and hit the other guy in the head. The strange part is the victim refused to press charges so my guess is that he must have axed for it.

Question 18

Two Guys In A Bar Joke

Two guys are sitting together in a bar. One guy starts yelling at the other one. He screams, "I slept with your mother!" The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other guy will do. The first guy yells out again, "HEY...I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!" The other guy just looks at him and says, "Go home dad, you’re drunk."

Question 19

Orchestra Joke

I told my son he couldn't watch the orchestra anymore and he asked why? Because there's too much sax and violins!

Question 20

1080p Pun

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!

Question 21

What Came First?

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I'll let you know.

Question 22

Rope Walks In Bar Pun

A piece of rope walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender tells him they don't serve string in his bar and to get out. The rope goes outside messes up his hair, ties himself up, and walks back into the bar. The bartender sees him and says "aren't you the rope that was just in here"? The rope responds "not me, I'm a frayed not".

Question 23

Cookie Doctor Joke

When does a cookie go to see a doctor?

Question 24

Tennessee And Arkansas

What did Tennessee?

Question 25

Skeleton Dance Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Question 26

Numbers Joke

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Question 27

Clean Mirror Job Joke

I used to have a job cleaning mirrors but I couldn't see myself doing it for a living.

Question 28

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Who hides in the bakery at christmas?

Question 29

Bowl Of Pretzels Pun

This guy walks into a bar and takes a seat. Before he can order a beer, the bowl of pretzels in front of him says "Hey, you're really good looking." The man tries to ignore the bowl of pretzels and orders a beer. The bowl of pretzels then says "Ooooh, a beer, great choice." Starting to freak out, the guy says to the bartender "Hey what the hell, this bowl of pretzels keeps saying nice things to me!" the bartender replies "Don't worry about it, the pretzels are complimentary."

Question 30

Steaks In A Bar Pun

A man walks into a bar and there is a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. The man asks the bartender what's the deal with the meat and the bartender explains that if you jump up and slap a piece of meat you get to drink free for the night, but if you miss you have to buy drinks for everyone in the bar. So the bartender asks him if he wants to go for it. The guy tells him, "I can't, the steaks are just too high."

The Joker

Corporate Hierarchy Joke

Marriage And Math Joke

Hotel Restaurant Joke

Does Anyone Know CPR?

Weight Loss Joke

Diabetic Blonde

Menopause Joke

Talking To Myself Joke

How To Get A Good Price On A Sled Joke

Leather And Sounds Like A Sneeze Joke

Take Your Kid To Work Day Joke

Walk A Mile In Their Shoes Joke

Frisbee Pun

Did You Hear About The Kidnapping At The School Joke

Dracula Halloween Joke

Ghost Are Bad Liars Halloween Joke

Axe Pun

Two Guys In A Bar Joke

Orchestra Joke

1080p Pun

What Came First?

Rope Walks In Bar Pun

Cookie Doctor Joke

Tennessee And Arkansas

Skeleton Dance Joke

Numbers Joke

Clean Mirror Job Joke

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Bowl Of Pretzels Pun

Steaks In A Bar Pun

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