The Joker

Question 1

Tennessee And Arkansas

What did Tennessee?

Question 2

Skeleton Dance Joke

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?

Question 3

Numbers Joke

What did the 0 say to the 8?

Question 4

Clean Mirror Job Joke

I used to have a job cleaning mirrors but I couldn't see myself doing it for a living.

Question 5

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything".

Question 6

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Who hides in the bakery at christmas?

Question 7

Don't Text And Drive

Honk if you love Jesus... text if you want to meet him!

Question 8

Steaks In A Bar Pun

A man walks into a bar and there is a bunch of meat hanging from the ceiling. The man asks the bartender what's the deal with the meat and the bartender explains that if you jump up and slap a piece of meat you get to drink free for the night, but if you miss you have to buy drinks for everyone in the bar. So the bartender asks him if he wants to go for it. The guy tells him, "I can't, the steaks are just too high."

Question 9

Dachshund And The Cowboy Pun

Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? So he could get a long little doggie.

Question 10

Irish Furniture Pun

Who is Irish and sits outside all day?

Question 11

Box Of Tampons Joke

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?' The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four "Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin. "Yeah." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you can swim, play tennis and even ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

Question 12

Road Worker Stealing Pun

I never really wanted to believe that my friend, a road worker, was stealing from his job but when I went to his house there they were. I should have known, all the signs were right there.

Question 13

Guy Fell Into A Well Joke

Did you hear about the guy who fell into the well? It turns out he couldn't see that well.

Question 14

Definition Of A Stalker

The definition of a stalker is when two people go on a long romantic walk together but only one really knows about it.

Question 15

Valentines Day Joke

What did one penny say to the other penny on Valentine's day?

Question 16

Gardening Season Joke

It's gardening season. 6 weeks ago I planted my arse on the sofa. It's grown considerably

Question 17

A Native American Psychiatrist Pun

A Native American goes to see his psychiatrist about the dreams he is having. After describing that one is about teepees and the other is about wigwams the psychiatrist tells him he knows what the problem is and tells him "you must be two tents".

Question 18

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

What do you get when you cross a dinosaur and a pig?

Question 19

Knock Knock Owl Joke

Knock, knock. Who's there? Owl. Owl who? Owl always love you!

Question 20

Best Dancing Cow Joke

Which cow is the best dancer?

Question 21

#BusinessJokes

An old man is selling watermelons. His pricelist reads 1 for $3, 3 for $10. A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. "That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man. The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each. As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing." The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

Question 22

Safety Meeting Joke

There was a safety meeting at work today. They asked me, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "Big Ones" was the wrong answer.

Question 23

Banker Joke

A banker gets into a car accident. He was driving his Ferrari, stopped, opened his door, and another car zoomed by, hit and ripped off the door. The banker jumps out of the car and shouts, "My Ferrari! My Ferrari!" A man is passing by and notes, "You bankers. You're all about money. You're worried about your Ferrari and not even noticing that your arm was ripped off along with that door." The banker looks at his missing arm and shouts, "My Rolex! My Rolex!!"

Question 24

How Do You Get A Squirrel To Love You Joke

How do you get a squirrel to love you?

Question 25

Religion Vs Science

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father replied, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies of their own, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said. "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Question 26

Bosses And Diapers

Bosses are like diapers. Full of shit and all over your ass!

Question 27

Cook An Alligator Joke

What's the best way to cook an alligator?

Question 28

Hot Or Cold Joke

What’s faster hot or cold?

Question 29

New Salesmen Joke

A young guy from Newfoundland moves to British Columbia and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Newfoundland." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our salespeople average sales of 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Vancouver. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Newfoundland, but you're not on the farm anymore, son." The kid took his beating but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kind of bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65.′′ The boss, astonished, says, "$101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"

Question 30

Lazy Dog

Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it "Selective Participation".

The Joker

Tennessee And Arkansas

Skeleton Dance Joke

Numbers Joke

Clean Mirror Job Joke

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

Christmas Bakery Hideaway Joke

Don't Text And Drive

Steaks In A Bar Pun

Dachshund And The Cowboy Pun

Irish Furniture Pun

Box Of Tampons Joke

Road Worker Stealing Pun

Guy Fell Into A Well Joke

Definition Of A Stalker

Valentines Day Joke

Gardening Season Joke

A Native American Psychiatrist Pun

A Dinosaur And A Pig Joke

Knock Knock Owl Joke

Best Dancing Cow Joke

#BusinessJokes

Safety Meeting Joke

Banker Joke

How Do You Get A Squirrel To Love You Joke

Religion Vs Science

Bosses And Diapers

Cook An Alligator Joke

Hot Or Cold Joke

New Salesmen Joke

Lazy Dog

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