The Joker

Question 1

Best Dancing Cow Joke

Question 2

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

A honeymooning couple was passing through Louisiana. When they were approaching Lafayette, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch. As they stood at the counter, the man said, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are?" The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, "Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing"

Question 3

#BusinessJokes

An old man is selling watermelons. His pricelist reads 1 for $3, 3 for $10. A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon. "That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man. The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each. As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing." The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

Question 4

Safety Meeting Joke

There was a safety meeting at work today. They asked me, "What steps would you take in the event of a fire?" "Big Ones" was the wrong answer.

Question 5

Caveman Valentine’s Day

What does a caveman give his wife on Valentine's Day?

Question 6

Banker Joke

A banker gets into a car accident. He was driving his Ferrari, stopped, opened his door, and another car zoomed by, hit and ripped off the door. The banker jumps out of the car and shouts, "My Ferrari! My Ferrari!" A man is passing by and notes, "You bankers. You're all about money. You're worried about your Ferrari and not even noticing that your arm was ripped off along with that door." The banker looks at his missing arm and shouts, "My Rolex! My Rolex!!"

Question 7

That's Life Joke

We are born naked, wet, and hungry... Then things get worse.

Question 8

Religion Vs Science

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father replied, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies of their own, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said. "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Question 9

Cook An Alligator Joke

What's the best way to cook an alligator?

Question 10

Hot Or Cold Joke

What’s faster hot or cold?

Question 11

New Salesmen Joke

A young guy from Newfoundland moves to British Columbia and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job. The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in Newfoundland." Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did." His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor. "How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our salespeople average sales of 20 to 30 customers a day. That will have to change, and soon if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Vancouver. One sale a day might have been acceptable in Newfoundland, but you're not on the farm anymore, son." The kid took his beating but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kind of bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?" The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65.′′ The boss, astonished, says, "$101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?" The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin-engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4×4 Expedition." The boss said, "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?" The kid said, "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'"

Question 12

You're Right?!

Guys I need your help... I'm in the middle of an argument with my wife and she just told me that I'm right. What the hell do I do next?!

Question 13

Lazy Dog

Lazy is a very strong word. I like to call it "Selective Participation".

Question 14

Women Have Small Feet

Why do women have small feet?

Question 15

4th Of July Duck Joke

What do you call a duck on the 4th of July?

Question 16

Baby Shark Joke

Why do sharks swim in salt water?

Question 17

Unbelievable

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Question 18

Why Did You Marry Me?

I asked my wife why she married me. She said, "Because you are funny." I said, "I thought it was because I was good in bed." She said, "See? You are hilarious!"

Question 19

Tiny Surfer Joke

What kind of wave do tiny surfers ride?

Question 20

Strip Down Joke

The cashier told me, "Strip down facing me". By the time I realized they meant the debit card, it was too late.

Question 21

A Blondes Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that now was named Rolex and the other one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming their dogs like that?" "Helloooooo...," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

Question 22

Horny Talking Frog Joke

What does a horny frog say?

Question 23

Chickpea Joke

What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

Question 24

Hump Day

What do you call a camel with no humps?

Question 25

Don't Correct A Fool

Do not correct a fool or he will hate you. Correct a wise man and he will appreciate you.

Question 26

Easter Egg Joke

Easter egg hunts are proof kids can find things if they really want to.

Question 27

Throwing Rice Pun

Me & my mates were at an Indian restaurant & some guys started throwing rice at us. So we threw rice back at them....We had a pilau fight.

Question 28

Why Do Ilegal Immigrants Like Climate Change Joke

Why do illegal immigrants like climate change?

Question 29

Two Ways To Argue...

There are two ways to argue with a woman... Neither one of them works.

Question 30

Highlighter Joke

I'm going to start collecting highlighters... mark my words!

The Joker

Best Dancing Cow Joke

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

#BusinessJokes

Safety Meeting Joke

Caveman Valentine’s Day

Banker Joke

That's Life Joke

Religion Vs Science

Cook An Alligator Joke

Hot Or Cold Joke

New Salesmen Joke

You're Right?!

Lazy Dog

Women Have Small Feet

4th Of July Duck Joke

Baby Shark Joke

Unbelievable

Why Did You Marry Me?

Tiny Surfer Joke

Strip Down Joke

A Blondes Dogs

Horny Talking Frog Joke

Chickpea Joke

Hump Day

Don't Correct A Fool

Easter Egg Joke

Throwing Rice Pun

Why Do Ilegal Immigrants Like Climate Change Joke

Two Ways To Argue...

Highlighter Joke

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