The Joker

Question 1

Hospital Joke

What part of the hospital has the least privacy?

Question 2

Canned Meat Joke

If anyone gets a message from me about canned meat don’t open it... It's Spam!

Question 3

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything".

Question 4

Doctors And Lawyers Coke Joke

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes, and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said, " I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

Question 5

Going Deaf Joke

The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.

Question 6

Chocolate Chewbacca

What do you call Chewbacca when he gets chocolate in his fur?

Question 7

Don't Text And Drive

Honk if you love Jesus... text if you want to meet him!

Question 8

Best Invention Joke

Out of all the inventions over the last 100 years, the dry erase board is the most remarkable.

Question 9

Cut Lightning Joke

How do you cut lightning?

Question 10

Three Moles Pun

Three moles had been burrowing underground when the first one says "did you smell something sweet, it smelled like candy?' The second one said he smelled something sweet but it was more like honey. The one at the back of the line told them "I smelled something but it didn't smell sweet, it smelled like mole asses!"

Question 11

Teddy Bear Dessert

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

Question 12

Wise Man Joke

A wise man once told his wife nothing, because he was a wise man.

Question 13

What Did One Boat Say To The Other Boat On Valentines Day?

What did one boat say to the other?

Question 14

Iron Man Joke

Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?

Question 15

Wife And A Hand Grenade

What does your wife and a hand grenade have in common?

Question 16

Coin Shortage Joke

There is a coin shortage. America is officially out of common cents.

Question 17

Grandpa Joke

I asked my granddaughter to fetch me a newspaper. She laughed and said, "Grandpa you are so old, just use my phone." So I slammed her phone against the wall and killed that annoying fly.

Question 18

Tortilla Factory Joke

Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?

Question 19

Toilet Paper Joke

I got in touch with my inner self today... That's the last time I buy 1-ply toilet paper at the dollar store.

Question 20

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

A honeymooning couple was passing through Louisiana. When they were approaching Lafayette, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch. As they stood at the counter, the man said, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are?" The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, "Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing"

Question 21

Divorce Settlement

"Mr. Smith, I reviewed your divorce cases very carefully," the divorce court judge said, "And, I have decided to give your wife $7500 a month." "That's very fair your honor." the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

Question 22

How Do You Get A Squirrel To Love You Joke

How do you get a squirrel to love you?

Question 23

Cat's Favorite Nursery Rhyme Joke

What's a cat's favourite nursery rhyme?

Question 24

Politicians And Diapers

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Question 25

What Do Scientist To With Dog Bones Joke

What do scientist to with dog bones?

Question 26

Vegan Argument

If two vegans get into an argument... is it still considered a beef?

Question 27

Dad Jokes Joke

Where does Dad keep his Dad jokes?

Question 28

You're Right?!

Guys I need your help... I'm in the middle of an argument with my wife and she just told me that I'm right. What the hell do I do next?!

Question 29

Runners Memory Joke

What do runners do when they forget something?

Question 30

Santa's Watching!

Santa's been reading your posts all year... Most of you are getting dictionaries for Christmas.

The Joker

Hospital Joke

Canned Meat Joke

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

Doctors And Lawyers Coke Joke

Going Deaf Joke

Chocolate Chewbacca

Don't Text And Drive

Best Invention Joke

Cut Lightning Joke

Three Moles Pun

Teddy Bear Dessert

Wise Man Joke

What Did One Boat Say To The Other Boat On Valentines Day?

Iron Man Joke

Wife And A Hand Grenade

Coin Shortage Joke

Grandpa Joke

Tortilla Factory Joke

Toilet Paper Joke

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

Divorce Settlement

How Do You Get A Squirrel To Love You Joke

Cat's Favorite Nursery Rhyme Joke

Politicians And Diapers

What Do Scientist To With Dog Bones Joke

Vegan Argument

Dad Jokes Joke

You're Right?!

Runners Memory Joke

Santa's Watching!

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