The Joker

Question 1

Sick Lemon Joke

What do you give a sick lemon?

Question 2

Megabyte Pun

My friend is changing his bands name to 999 Megabytes because they never got a gig.

Question 3

Little Mermaid Joke

What did the Little Mermaid wear to math class?

Question 4

Flamingo Pun

My friend keeps telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I guess I'm just going to have to put my foot down.

Question 5

Balloon Music Joke

What type of music are balloons afraid of?

Question 6

Wife Bra

I almost tripped over my wife’s bra the other day... I'm sure it was a booby trap.

Question 7

Cold Painter Joke

What does the painter do when he gets cold?

Question 8

A Duck Chap Stick Pun

A duck goes into a store and asks if they have any ChapStick. They told him they had plenty for sale so he replied "great can you put it on my bill for me"

Question 9

Nudist Camp Joke

So a hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it now.

Question 10

Hospital Joke

What part of the hospital has the least privacy?

Question 11

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

A Buddhist goes up to a hotdog vendor and says "make me one with everything".

Question 12

Doctors And Lawyers Coke Joke

Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes, and was settling in when the physician in the window seat said, " I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the attorney, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the physicians picked up the attorney's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the coke, the other physician said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the attorney obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the other physician picked up the other shoe and spat in it. The attorney returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the attorney slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. "How long must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in cokes?"

Question 13

Going Deaf Joke

The Doc told me I was going deaf... It was hard to hear.

Question 14

Chocolate Chewbacca

What do you call Chewbacca when he gets chocolate in his fur?

Question 15

Don't Text And Drive

Honk if you love Jesus... text if you want to meet him!

Question 16

Best Invention Joke

Out of all the inventions over the last 100 years, the dry erase board is the most remarkable.

Question 17

Cut Lightning Joke

How do you cut lightning?

Question 18

Three Moles Pun

Three moles had been burrowing underground when the first one says "did you smell something sweet, it smelled like candy?' The second one said he smelled something sweet but it was more like honey. The one at the back of the line told them "I smelled something but it didn't smell sweet, it smelled like mole asses!"

Question 19

Irish Furniture Pun

Who is Irish and sits outside all day?

Question 20

Teddy Bear Dessert

Why did the Teddy Bear say no to dessert?

Question 21

Wise Man Joke

A wise man once told his wife nothing, because he was a wise man.

Question 22

An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis", he replied. The Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something, and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private." The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" “There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't pee out of it," he replied......... The waiting room erupted in laughter!

Question 23

What Did One Boat Say To The Other Boat On Valentines Day?

What did one boat say to the other?

Question 24

Iron Man Joke

Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?

Question 25

Wife And A Hand Grenade

What does your wife and a hand grenade have in common?

Question 26

Grandpa Joke

I asked my granddaughter to fetch me a newspaper. She laughed and said, "Grandpa you are so old, just use my phone." So I slammed her phone against the wall and killed that annoying fly.

Question 27

Football Player Who Likes Dad Jokes

What do you call a football player that likes dad jokes?

Question 28

Tortilla Factory Joke

Why did the baker open a tortilla factory?

Question 29

Toilet Paper Joke

I got in touch with my inner self today... That's the last time I buy 1-ply toilet paper at the dollar store.

Question 30

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

A honeymooning couple was passing through Louisiana. When they were approaching Lafayette, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they got to the town, where they decided to stop for lunch. As they stood at the counter, the man said, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us. Would you very slowly pronounce where we are?" The guy behind the corner leaned over and said, "Burrrrrrrr gerrrrrrr Kiiiiing"

The Joker

Sick Lemon Joke

Megabyte Pun

Little Mermaid Joke

Flamingo Pun

Balloon Music Joke

Wife Bra

Cold Painter Joke

A Duck Chap Stick Pun

Nudist Camp Joke

Hospital Joke

National Hot Dog Day Joke - Buddhist Pun

Doctors And Lawyers Coke Joke

Going Deaf Joke

Chocolate Chewbacca

Don't Text And Drive

Best Invention Joke

Cut Lightning Joke

Three Moles Pun

Irish Furniture Pun

Teddy Bear Dessert

Wise Man Joke

An 86 Year Old Man Walked Into A Crowded Waiting Room Joke

What Did One Boat Say To The Other Boat On Valentines Day?

Iron Man Joke

Wife And A Hand Grenade

Grandpa Joke

Football Player Who Likes Dad Jokes

Tortilla Factory Joke

Toilet Paper Joke

How Do You Pronounce Lafayette?

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