The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment.  We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.

You're so ugly when you go outside your arrested for indecent exposure.

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A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto to the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand. His mother says: "Billy, are you all right? You've been in here for a while… Billy says: "I'm fine, mommy…i just haven't gone 'doody' yet." Mother says: "ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?" Billy says: "works for ketchup."

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Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

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Why Iron-man and not Fe-male?

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The local pet store is having a free giveaway on birds today...no perches necessary.

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The reason you can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom is because the pee is silent.

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At the age of 65 my grandma started walking 5 miles a day. She's 92 now and we have no idea where she is.

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The other day I went to see a psychic. When I knocked on the door she shouted, "Who's there?" So I left.

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An American and North Korean are bragging about their countries. The American says "In my country, our technology is so good that we know who will win an election two hours before the polls close!" The North Korean doesn't blink and says "Well in my country we know who will win two years before the polls close."

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It's important to look carefully at lawn signs during an election. Last time I voted for a real estate agent.

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