The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment.  We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.

Joke: I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new years but no one likes a quitter, so here is my New Years resolution. 1080p!
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Joke: For the new year, I've been trying intermittent fasting. So far I'm up to 12 minutes without eating and to be honest, I love the results!
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Joke: A grandfather bought a hobby-horse by mail order as a Christmas present for his granddaughter. The toy arrived in 189 pieces. The instructions said that it could be put together in an hour; however, it took the old man two days to assemble the toy. Finally, when it was all put together, he wrote a check, cut it into 189 pieces and mailed it to the company.
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Joke: A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday. He says, "So what would you like, Hillary? A Porsche? A sable coat? A diamond necklace?" She says, "Donnie, I want a divorce." "My goodness," he says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much."
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Joke: Husband: I want you to have this bracelet. It belonged to my Grandmother. Wife: Why does it say "Do not resuscitate"?
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Joke: I never really believed in Santa, always was a rebel without a claus.
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Joke: Santa got stuck in a chimney a few years back? Now he gets Claustrophobia.
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Joke: There is only one thing I can't deal with...
Punch Line
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Joke: Yo momma's so ugly, when she went to the house of mirrors, it collapsed.
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Joke: Will glass coffins become popular? Remains to be seen.
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