Joke of The Day Index - Farts.com

The Joke of the Day jokes are hand selected by the staff at Fart.com and featured for your enjoyment. We only select the best jokes so you don't have to waist time sorting through thousands of classic jokes.

Stopped Drinking Coffee

I found that I have been happier since I changed from coffee in the morning to orange juice. My doctor explained that it's the vitamin C and natural sugars but I really think it's the vodka.

You've All Heard Of TGIF...

You've all heard of TGIF - Thank God It's Friday, right? Well my Assistant refers to Friday as POETS day... Piss Off Early, Tomorrow's Saturday!

Teenagers Are Like Farts

How's a fart like a teenager alike?

I've Sure Gotten Old!

I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. Thank goodness, I still have my driver's license.

I See You And Jesus Sees You

A burglar was cruising through a posh suburb looking for an opportunity. At one house he saw a truck unloading a big-screen television, stereo, and video outfit. That night, without a moon in the sky and a heavy fog, he drove up to the house. He rang the doorbell and when no one answered, broke the lock on the kitchen door and went in. It was pitch black inside as he made his way through the kitchen, then the dining room and into the den where he expected to find the things he wanted to steal. "I see you and Jesus sees you," a voice said. The burglar froze in his tracks. "I see you and Jesus sees you," the voice said again. When nothing more happened, the burglar took out his flashlight and shined it in the direction of the voice. All he saw was a parrot on its perch. "I see you and Jesus sees you. "The burglar laughed. "Just a dumb bird," he said. The burglar closed the drapes before turning on a lamp and that's when he saw a big and mean-looking Doberman Pincher sitting beneath the parrot's perch. "Sic him, Jesus!", said the parrot.

You Mama So Poor... Front Door

Yo mama is so poor that when I walked in the front door, I tripped over the back gate.

Your Momma So Fat...

Yo mama so fat she's got a real horse on her polo shirt.

Yo Momma Is So Fat That

Yo Momma is so fat... That when she put on a yellow jacket, kids tried to get her to go to school, because they thought she was the school bus.

Yo Mamma Bungie Jumping

Yo mamma so ugly when she goes bungie jumping instead of putting the chord around her ankles they put it around her neck.

Yo Momma's Breath Smells So Bad!

Yo momma's breath smells so bad, her teeth duck when she yawns!

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